Wednesday, April 11, 2012

An Eve Keyboard?

The "Legs" from #tweetfleet (aka Sindel) posted some tweets yesterday about how there should be a Razer keyboard for Eve Online. I think that's a fantastic idea and getting into work this morning I see she has even written a blog post about it here. I was planning a blog on this on my drive in and she's ruined it! But she didn't cover what keys we'd want......

The Star Wars: The Old Republic keyboard by Razer appears to have 10 special SW:TOR keys (wow, bet that was a surprise!).


We want an Eve Online one NOW! But, how would we utilise those 10 keys for Eve?
Well obviously the selected object menu is ideal to go in the top set, Warp, jump, keep at range, orbit and lock covers the first 5 buttons. However I think we need to change the order a little.....

"Warp to 0" and "Warp and Jump" Keys.
MOVE THESE APART! I mean far apart, I mean opposite ends! A miss-click in Eve currently of just a couple of millimetres is the difference between landing on gate and sitting there and fail-jumping into an enemy gate camp whilst your FC screams at you. Seriously, we need separation here.
The warp and jump button (aka lemming button) needs to be away from the warp to 0 button...
 

Now, for the other five keys! What actions do we use regularly?

Start Forum Emo-Rage Thread
There appears to be a constant steam of tears on the forum. So how about a button that automatically opens the IG browser, logs into the forums and starts a new whiney thread? Should we just go for tears, or perhaps the most common cause of whine threads/tears? We'd probably need three actually.....


GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A button preset to warp to a specific celestial at a set distance. These can be set in the client. It might be the Sun at 50, planet 2 at 0 or planet 5 at 100. It's up to you.


Place Bookmark
This could be useful. Just hit the button to place a bookmark and bring up the window so you can name it.

HDO'C
A button that activates your cyno and then automatically posts in local "Its time! Time for what? Its HOT DROP OOOOOOOOO'CLOCK!"


CSB
The CSB button is the "Childish Smack Button". When pressed it will randomly post a single line of childish smack talk in local. This is for when you want to retort to someone acting like an 8 year-old but you are too tired/drunk/busy to think of anything witty to say. Options could be:-

"My dads bigger than your dad"
"You smell of poo"
"Yo mamma is so fat, your dad needs Gallente Titan 4 training to ride her!"
"I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?"
"Back to you with nobs on"

Or anything so childish that the original smack talker just doesn't know how to respond and shuts up!


Oh just think of all the fun we could have :)

Now we just need to convince Razer to get into Eve....


Oh and get a new logo.....


Sunday, April 8, 2012

Burn Hulks and Jita-geddon


Before Mittensgate, it had already been said that the next project for the Goons after the "Gallente Ice Interdiction" was "Burn Jita". It's arriving 28th April. That just after the Escalation mini-expansion arrives and I think, it might also be the day Mittens returns from his ban?
 
We know very little about Jita Burns other than the Goons apparently have 1800 arty Tornado's fitted and ready. Therefore I think we can safely assume they'll be suicide-ganking everything from frigates to freighters. Oh.... actually I used the "S" word there..... whoops!
 

Will this be a 24 hour event? Will it last days or weeks? We just don't know and I would assume the Goons will decide after seeing the effectiveness of their tactics. It might be a one-day thing, it might go longer if deemed a success. What we do know is that once it is over, Hulkageddon starts.
 
Now for those of you who have been living under an asteroid for the last few years, Hulkageddon is the annual event that encourages people to kill (in low and null-sec) or suicide-gank (theres that word again!) Hulks as well as all other mining ships. The one with the most Hulk kills at the end of the event, gets a prize. Pirates and griefers love it, carebears hate it. Only this time the Goons are "sponsoring" part of the event. For every 10 Hulks you kill, the Goons will give you 100m ISK. However to claim this prize you need to send a "Congratulatory" email to your victim, CC'd to the Goon who is co-ordinating the "prizes".
 
Now I want to make two things clear.
 
Firstly I don't really agree with suicide ganking, scamming, griefing, picking on hi-sec carebears (if you cross into low-sec, then you are fair game!) or the like.
 
But my second point is, I think these events are a good idea!
 
 
Let me explain. Whilst I do not like the idea of some poor carebear, who doesn't keep up with the wider Eve community news, undocking from Jita in a shiny ship loaded with cargo and then being splatted by 10 Goon Arty Nado's, these events energise the Eve community. The haters, the whiners, the HTFU-brigade will be all out in force. People will be sent back to WoW, there are already threads on the Eve-O forums calling for all Goons to be banned, there will be tears. But more imporantly there will be news stories, blogs, threadnaughts, people talking and most of all people plotting revenge.
 
These two events are pretty easy to avoid. For a start, keep out of Jita on the 28th and watch for intel to find out when it's safe to go back. Then after that, don't go mining in a barge or exhumer whilst Hulkaggedon is on.
 
Just look at it this way, Mr Miner, mineral prices will be even higher by the end of next month!
 

Thinking about it, may be I should give it a go for a day. Whilst I might not agree with Hulkageddon it might make an interesting blog post. As they say....
 
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
 
(That way you'll be a mile away from them when you do, and have their shoes too!)
 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

I'm Sorry, There is No Excuse....



 
Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot, was on shore leave with his girl, having a picnic in the countryside.
After some cuddling she says "Pierre! Kiss me!"
So he reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of red wine and pours it on her lips before kissing her.
"Pierre! Why did you do that?"
"Because I am Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot! And when I have red meat I have red wine!"
A bit later things are hotting up. The woman unbuttons her blouse.
"Pierre! Kiss me lower!"
So he reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of white wine and pours it on her chest before kissing her there.
"Pierre! Why did you do that?"
"Because I am Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot! And when I have white meat I have white wine!"
Soon things are really heating up.
"Pierre! Kiss me even lower!"
So he reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of brandy, lifts her skirt, splashes it between her legs and throws a lit match down there.
"PIERRE! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" she screamed whilst patting out the flames.
"Because I am Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot! And when I go down.......... I go down in flames!"
 


..... I'll get my coat :P



Monday, April 2, 2012

SoTF Take a Road Trip

This weekend long battle report was written by Lock Out from my corp. I thought it was worth a share from the FHC forum where it was posted. Words by Lock Out (with a little tidy) and pictures by yours truly. You may wonder why I didn't write a report myself. All I'll say is I held a dinner party that night and the GMT +4 time difference meant I could join fleet after everyone had gone home even though I really, really shouldn't have given my state. I was the one in the Huggin (that will be explained later). For now, over to Lock Out......


Because our regular hunting grounds in Black Rise grew a bit stale due to all the actors knowing each other and what they can field, -FU- alliance, together with our friends for GMVA and SLAPD decided to take a roadtrip.


We chose a low-sec system adjacent to Geminate and we were quickly rewarded with the sight of Brick Squad, one of the most pew-pew happy alliances that we've met in our perils across New Eden. Small gang skirmishes erupt, with both sides winning some and losing some throughout the week.

As the weekend approaches, we realise that we are gonna have good numbers so we start looking at opportunities for larger scale fights. Together with our esteemed opponents/titan killing brosefs/ex alliance mates (it is a VERY complicated relationship) from W-BR we decide to poke at -A- on Friday. Our form up is delayed by a couple of dreads with a death wish. A Naglfar gets it's wish granted (http://www.sotfkb.com/index.php/kill_detail/615496/) while a Rev has a change of heart and jumps out as our Zu uncloaks.


After this small detour, we formup with "arti nados" and recons and move to Curse where we merge with the W-BR fleet, not before losing a Huggin to alcohol (It was NOT my fault - Drack) and a Scimi to a disconnect. Once we merge gangs, we boldly proceed into Catch, where -A- waste no time in forming up a response fleet and rapecaging us in our temporary staging POS. The derp is strong with us, so we decide to exit the shields on the opposite side to their gang. About 3 minutes and 5 derps later our fleet turns in to a bunch of wrecks (http://www.sotfkb.com/index.php/kill_related/615615/) and we say our gf's in local, wondering if we just broke the Guinness world record in bad decisions per minute. To reiterate the idea that when you are having a bad day you should just logoff, later we also lose to a Rote Kapelle gang (http://www.sotfkb.com/index.php/kill_related/615706/), and although a random PL drop saves our efficiency by melting the Rote triage archon that we shot at earlier, all-in-all we are not feeling that hot.


Meanwhile, in Geminate, our Brick Squad foes aren't doing great either. The Geminate/Vale napfest consisting of Pinked, Broken Toys, GIANTSBANE. and co decides to make a push for the BWF pocket and although Bricks seem to deal with it pretty well initially, some Geminate coalition dreads make short work of the Brick Abaddons (http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_related&kll_id=12900462). As the sight of caps works better than an improved blue pill for us, we get a major erection and instantly convo Bricks asking if they would agree a temp blue and if they could get another fight out of Gem coalition on the Saturday. Upon reciving a positive answer to both questions, we call it a day and go get some rest.


The Op:
From previous scouting we know Gem coalition usually form up around 18-19 hrs server time, so as I log in on Saturday after dt, I send an alliance mail asking people to be online at 18:00 hrs. I also poke First General, asking if Wolfsbrigade want in on the action. And man, they do! At 18:00 server time, W-BR and their Dewa Brotherhood friends are moving towards us, and I realise that with their 15 dps fit abaddons, 3 neuting baddons and 6 guardians they actually have more than we do. Fortunately this is the time when our guys get past the mandatory hangover and start loggin in. At about 18:30 we finally merge fleets and our fleet looks like this : 14-15 guardians, 4-5 neuting BS, 2 smartbombing BS, a HIC and about 25-30 DPS BS (mostly Abaddons). Also, our temp blues from Brick Squad form a 30+ man fleet with Abaddons and 6-7 Guardians and start trying to provoke a new fight with Gem coalition. As the hangover is still strong with most of us, we decide to keep our 2 scout/cyno alts in a covops and a Pilgrim with the brick fleet in case things kick off, and rely on Bricks for intel about the movements of Gem coalition. Initial intel reports a 80+ man Gem coalition fleet formed on a titan in TZL, so the prospects are good. We park our fleet next to the 'Bus and proceed to wait. And wait. And wait some more.


As it seems nothing is kicking off, Brick fleet decides to move from BND towards Gem coalition staging system of LR-2XT, hoping that proximity to the enemy fleet will kickstart a fight. En route they also encounter 2 other 10+ nano gangs friendly to them, so now they have around 55-60 in the area. Still less than the 80 of Gem coalition, but apparently too much to encourage Pinked and co in to a fight. However, we get word of Gem coalition fleet getting within 2km of their bus, so something might happen soon. At that moment, I try and put myself in the mindset of the 0.0 sov bear and I call it in our command chat :

[ 2012.03.31 20:04:52 ] Lock out > inb4 they go in to your systems to grind ehp

And within the minute, Pinked and co. bridge out, we check the map for cynos and indeed IOO has a cyno up. At this moment everything is reversed. Bricks are in Pinked home pocket trying to get a fight and Pinked try and dodge the fight and go to Brick home pocked to grind EHP.  Brick fleet does a u-turn and starts burning back to IOO, so do our scouts/cynos. Few minutes later, things get really interesting :

[ 2012.03.31 20:10:02 ] Harvey Skywarker > caps are in !!

Bricks have managed to get eyes in IOO and report 5 Thanny, 3 Rev, 6 Phoenix, 1 Nid, 4 Moros, 2 Chimmy shooting the I-HUB while the support fleet of around 80 is on the BND gate trying to cut Brick Squads route. We decide to go for it asap, with the brick fleet making best speed and joining the fight as soon as they get to IOO.

[ 2012.03.31 20:12:27 ] Lock out > if our cyno gets there first
[ 2012.03.31 20:12:31 ] Lock out > we'll just go for it
[ 2012.03.31 20:13:02 ] Harvey Skywarker > they are on BND gate atm
[ 2012.03.31 20:13:07 ] Tekitha > the caps?
[ 2012.03.31 20:13:45 ] Harvey Skywarker > sub caps on bnd gate , dreads on IOO I-Hub

At about this exact time, Tekitha's scout in a Helios manages to jump in to IOO and taking advantage of the fact that there is no support next to the caps to instapop the helios, we decide to use that for the bridge cyno instead of the well tanked but slower dual plated Pilgrim that was about 1 jump behind. Tek's alt uncloaks and lights on top of the Gem coalition cap fleet, and none of us seems to realise that we're about to jump with only 50 subcaps in to a fleet of 21 caps and 80+ subcaps.

Cyno up ! Bridge up ! Bubble up ! And finally it all kicks off.

As there is no support on field I call the Nidhoggur primary, First General is coordinating the neuts and is doing a great job neuting the heavy cap reliant Revs and Moroses so they can't land a couple of lucky volleys on our BS. We're all AB fit so we're happly orbiting the dreads without getting hit , the Niddy melts and our ship scanners report one moros as being dry, so we proceed to primary it. With the moros in low armor, their support finally lands on field. We decide to finish the Moros first and then go for the support. Doesn't take long till we melt him and then we start working some pesky scorps that were jamming our guardians. As I am trying to broadcast the targets I make a boo boo and hit "remove battleships form overview" instead of "broadcast target" . Nonetheless, Tekitha is providential as always and starts broadcasting Scorps, Megas, Pests and such. Since we have the scorch advantage I ask everyone to orbit me and I take us at a bit of range till the Megas and other short range support is dead. The Gem coalition make an unlucky call and primary one of our smartbombing BS, their drones head towards him and he clears 10-15 % of their dps by simply pressing F1-F8. Our other smartbombing BS flies right in to the fighter swarm and takes out another good chunk of dps from carriers, giving our Guardians some space to breathe. We lost a Guardian and a couple BS in the initial moments after their support fleet landed, but now our reps have stabilised and are holding decently. Our energy guardians are feeding both neuters and our cap hungry dps Abaddons and to make it even better, Brick Squad and friends land on the field and start melting stuff too. By this time it's clear we're winning and Gem Coalition initiate Plan B : every man for himself.


Sharaar is doing a great job in his HIC keeping as many caps as possible bubbled, but a fair few are at distance and manage to regain cap and jump out while what's still alive of their support warps out. We manage to hold on to another 6 dreads and 1 thanny and killing them is a matter of time. The last 2 Phoenixs initiate self-destruct, but with them having no tank and no resists due to heavy neuting, melting them within 2 minutes is child's play. The total body count is 9 caps and 50+ support killed and under 10 support lost.

http://www.sotfkb.com/index.php/kill_related/615957/


Friday, March 30, 2012

Fan Fiction: The Traitor - Part 1

This is a fairly long piece of Fan Fiction. If its TL;DR or just not your thing I'd recommend heading over to Sindel's Universe. There has been a lot of blogs about Fanfest, but this appears to be the only one concentrating solely on a hot chick licking the people there! Anyway if you fancy a bit of Eve-O fiction, read on....


You're not a very nice person. Do you know that?


Yes, you!


If you are reading this then you more than likely play as a Capsuleer in Eve Online (unless Google has really screwed you over) and they are not very nice people. Read the novels, the chronicles, the back story and you'll see that you are pretty much a nasty piece of work. Oh, you may roleplay that you are a "good guy" and a "hero". But generally speaking all capsuleers are uncaring, selfish bastards who are also mass murderers.... and that includes me. They don't care for mortals, death means nothing to them, and that rubs off on how they treat others. How many battleships have you destroyed at 6,000 crew a time? How many pirate structures have you destroyed condemning thousands of families to death?


But I'm not only just a Capsuleer, I'm fighting for a cause, the Gallente Federation Militia in a galactic war. And we know what people can be like when they are in that situation. So how far would my character go in the name of the "cause"......

-o0o-

There was a flash of light from the stargate. Then nothing. A few seconds later the Hawk class Assault Frigate decloaked and aligned before slipping into warp to the other stargate millions of kilometers away.

"Frack all"

"Nothing? Again?"

"No sir, the system is empty."

The XO was sure they'd find some action here. The Capsuleer must have thought so too, he'd piloted the ship here after all. They'd been patrolling for hours and so far had not seen any real sign of the enemy.

"Sir, new ship ID in local, it's another capsuleer and it's Caldari Militia..."

Before the crewman at the tactical console could finish, the battlestations alarm sounded. The capsuleer was looking to engage, even though currently they did not know what they may be fighting against. That was not really a major issue. The Hawk was a tough ship and could hold it's own against much bigger ships, at least long enough to jump through a gate if needed. The 5-strong crew on the bridge readied themselves for the fight.

The Hawk dropped out of warp next to the stargate. The other capsuleer must be here, he didn't follow them through the last system and this was the only other gate in the system thought the XO. The scanner was not detecting any other ships. Therefore the enemy must still be here, holding it's cloaking field following the jump. The XO noted their capsuleer already had the weapon systems readied. Suddenly a ship decloaked 20km off to the port. The XO saw a Manticore class stealth bomber align whilst engaging it's cloaking device. It vanished in less than a second of it appearing.


"Damn it!" he thumped his fist into the arm rest of his chair.

He saw the weapons systems deactivate and the 'brace for jump' alarm sounded throughout the ship. Using a stargate was an unpleasant experience for most people. The artificial wormhole could play havoc with a bodies systems and stomach troubles, headaches and dizzyness were all common side-effects of gate travel. Capsuleers were immune to the effects whilst floating in their hydrostatic capsules. However, the crew were exposed, and whilst years of jumps hardened a person to the effects, there was always some discomfort.

The next system was empty again.

"Tac Officer, you have the bridge. I'm going to do the rounds"

The XO left the bridge via the lift and moved down to the next level of the ship. If a fight did suddenly break out and he wasn't on the bridge it would not be an issue. His job was more about human resources than deputising for the captain. On a normal ship the XO would never leave the bridge whilst in hostile space, but on a Capsuleer vessel his presence wasn't directly needed. Floating in the hydrostatic capsule, with his nervous system hooked up directly to the ship, the capsuleer was able to do the work of a command crew on his own. The ship moved where he willed it to move. He controlled the defensive and offensive systems, he could activate and deactivate major systems with a thought. However, capsuleers still needed a crew. No matter how advanced the ship, some things needed a physical body to do. Crews on capsuleer ships were significantly smaller than the same ship without a capsuleer, but nevertheless were still needed.

One entire deck of the frigate was dedicated to it's primary weapons systems. The XO found chief weapons officer Meeka carrying out an inventory of the ammunition. Like the XO, he was bored and looking for something to do.

"Are they all there?" the XO asked half jokingly.

"Depends if you're asking about my crew or the warheads. Warheads are easy. As we've not fired at anything yet, yes they are all here. The crew, they are getting some shut-eye. If we do start fighting they'll be here before we need to reload" Meeka ticked off another crate of Navy Issue Thorn kinetic rockets from his list.

"I'm just glad we're not using anything with a nuclear payload. Given how the Caldari Militia are currently, the payload would have decayed and turned to lead by now" That brought a chuckle from the XO as he headed for the exit.

In the galley deck he could smell lunch cooking. The cook was there and was stirring a huge pot. Usually when on a combat patrol, cooking was not undertaken. A pot of boiling food like that could become a major hazard if the artificial gravity systems went offline during a fight. However given their day so far, the cook had decided to take his chances. Not that the XO complained. The ready-to-eat meals that were normally served during combat sorties left a lot to be desired.

"What's in the pot?

"Meat stew"

"What kind of meat?"

"The kind off an animal..... may be. You don't ask, I don't tell" the cook said grumpily.


The cook was well known to be in a foul mood pretty much most of the time. But as he prepared all their meals, nobody dared ask him why or make any smart comments for fear of receiving added "ingredients" in their next meal.

The XO skipped the habitation decks. Everyone there should be sleeping, plus he was keen to get to engineering. Truth be told he wished he could start in engineering, but that would be too obvious.

The heavy blast-doors slid open and the XO entered the engineering section. It was perhaps the largest section in the ship and was twice the size of the cargo bay. The main reactor and the core of the warp drive were housed here. A few engineers moved around the cavernous room on various gantries and walkways but generally it was quiet. Just like the bridge, these ships were built from a standard blueprint. They could be flown with a normal crew with a captain in the chair, or a capsuleer plus smaller crew. With a capsuleer wet-wired into the systems around half the normal compliment of crew were needed. This frigate, whilst small compared to a battleship, didn't feel small inside. The crew of 30 could walk around the ship and rarely bump into each other.

"Can I help you with anything..... sir!" The voice from behind made him jump. He span around to find Chief Tech Aralia behind him.

"Sorry sir, I made you jump. Anyone would think you were down here up to no
good" She smiled.

How does she do that he wondered. How does she hold this power over me? The
XO looked Aralia up and down. She was wearing the ship issue boots and engineering overalls same as everyone else, but somehow they looked different on her.

"It's hot in here isn't it.... sir" Aralia pulled the zipper of overalls down to her waist, it was clear she wasn't wearing anything underneath. The exposed flesh made the XO wet his lips in anticipation.


"Would you like to see the repairs to the backup reactor, sir? I'm sure you'll enjoy that and that you'll leave most.... satisfied" the XO couldn't speak. He just nodded. Damn it! How did she reduce him to a shy small boy with a simple look and that voice of hers.

Nobody paid them any notice as Aralia and the XO left the main engineering bay through a side corridor. At the end of the short corridor was another heavy blast door. The walls here were reinforced. Should anything happen to the main reactor, these walls were designed to ensure the back-up reactor was afforded some protected. Aralia keyed the correct sequence and the heavy blast-doors opened slowly. They both walked through into the much smaller emergency engineering bay. All the systems were offline and the back-up reactor itself was in hibernation mode. The room was dimly lit. The XO stood by the closing door as Aralia walked over to the dome structure that housed the backup reactor. She placed a hand on the grey metal, her back to the XO.

"You can feel the power vibrating through the shielding" she said before turning around and leaning against the dome, arching her back onto the domed structure.

She smiled at him and pulled her overalls down, beckoning him forward with her finger. She didn't need to ask twice.

-o0o-

The XO bent over to retrieve another article of his discarded uniform, a beaming smile on his face. He turned to face Aralia to say something but there was a flash. Then he felt a stabbing pain in his stomach. His hands went down to his midriff and when he brought them back up he saw they were covered in blood. A look of shock and confusion washed over his face. His legs felt wobbly and he collapsed to the floor. He looked up to see Arlia standing over him with a gun pointing at him.


"What........ why?" he croaked.

"Why? Oh come on! You're the XO. You should be able to work this out." She still had the gun leveled at him.

"You are State Pro?" his voice was not much more than a whisper.

"First guess! I told you that you'd be able to work it out."

"But we just...." Aralia cut him off.

"Yes we did didn't we. But after I eject in an escape pod in 10 minutes I might be floating in space for a few hours until the search and rescue team come and get me. Might as well go to sleep satisfied. You might be crewing for a bastard Gallente militia pilot, who is also a traitor to the State, but that doesn't mean you are, I mean you weren't, bad at everything" she smirked.

Aralia lent over him and grabbed his passcard that was hung around his neck.

"Thanks for this. This will help me deactivate the primary systems just as my comrades engage this ship in about, ooooo, 8 minutes. It'll be over quick."

She stood back up and looked down at him. "Although I don't think you'll live that long."

"No...... but...... neither will you" croaked the XO.

"Ha! Why do you think I brought us in here every time we had some fun for the last two months? The crew know what's going on between us two. I made sure they noticed. They'll not miss you for another 30 minutes, they'll all think we're still at it! And this room is so heavily shielded nobody will have heard the shot."

"Someone...... someone did!"

The smile died from Aralia's face. She suddenly looked worried.

"No! You're lying! Lying and dying! This plan was perfect. The are no cameras or voice recorders in here."

"No. You forgot...... the one person who hears everything.... see's everything.... feels everything....." The XO was struggling to talk. "Can't you feel it in your ears?"

"What are you talking about... not even 'he' knows what's happening in here. There are no camera's, sensors or voice recorders. Not even our egger is aware whats happening in here. There is no......" then suddenly she turned white. All the colour drained from her face. "That's impossible, this area is sealed and cut-off."

The XO could feel it in his ears, and was sure now Aralia could, a pressure differential. The room was slowly depressurising. Aralia ran to the door and keyed the access code. A large buzzing noise sounded access denied.

"No please!" Aralia screamed into the air. The XO just placed his head back down on the deck and stared at the grey dimly lit ceiling high above. He'd been a fool. Firstly he'd let a covert member of the State Protectorate onto his ship. Secondly he'd let himself be manipulated by her. The passionate affair was simply a ruse by her so she could take him somewhere where he would not be missed. If her plan had worked, the crew would have been making crude jokes about them working up a sweat in the back-up reactor chamber whilst Aralia disabled the ships primary systems with his passcard as he lay dead on the floor. But the Capsuleer had found out. How long had he known? Could he have intervened before this? Could he have saved his life?

Aralia was trying to walk over to him. She was staggering badly. The atmosphere was so thin now they could hardly breathe. She raised her gun and fired. The shot ricocheted off the floor. She tried again, wide of the mark. She dropped to her knees and tried to fire again. The shot was even further away. Her breathing was long heavy rasps now. She turned the gun on herself staring at the XO.

"For...... for the State" she said in a whisper. But she lost consciousness before she pulled the trigger.

The XO smiled, his ship was safe, no doubt the capsuleer was prepared for the attack now. He finally passed out himself.

-o0o-

There was a bright light. It was blinding. He could hear feint voices. He felt detached from his body.

He heard the voices closer now. "He's coming around. Better send the message" was all he heard before it went black again.

Much later the XO opened his eye's. His vision was blurred but he could tell the ceiling was not the same as that in the reactor room. This one was white, low and brightly lit. He turned his head to the right, he was in some form of medical bay. He was wired up to a variety of machines. His vision was slightly blurred but clearing.


He turned his head to the left. A man was sat there, flicking through a datapad. He was Caldari and wearing expensive clothing, he had his feet up on a table and looked rather relaxed. He noticed the XO was awake and looking at him.

"Welcome back to the land of the living" the man swung his legs down from the table and stood. He bent down to place the datapad on a table. As he did the XO saw the sockets on the back of his neck. A capsuleer!


"You've been out of it for five days. A combination of being shot by a State Pro agent and the side-effects of the low-pressure environment. For the later I must apologise. It was the only way I could intervene"

"You..... you are Drackarn"

"Yes."

"The.... the.... ambush? The ship and crew?"

The capsuleer smiled. "Ah yes, the ambush. I really wish you could have seen that. Whilst that Caldari bitch was telling you the grand plan, I was on comms to my fellow Gallente corp members. When the squids sprang their trap they didn't find a disabled frigate drifting in space. They found a Shadows fleet. We wiped them all out and suffered no loses."

"Aralia?"

The smile dropped from the capsuleers face.

"She tried to take the cowards way out, but she failed, as she failed in killing us all."

The XO knew she was dead, surely the capsuleer has already dealt with her. Did they question her? Did they force her to talk....... the XO was confused over his emotions. That woman shot him, plotted to kill him and his crew mates. Yet the thought that she may have been "encouraged" to talk turned his stomach.

"What about me?" the XO asked.

Drackarn looked at him carefully and rubbed his chin.

"You were a fool. A fracking fool. Thinking with your little head nearly cost me a lot of money". The XO noted he spoke about the potential loss of money and didn't refer to the potential loss of life. Around 30 million Interstellar Kredits verses 30 or so lives. He didn't need to ask which one the capsuleer cared about, it was always about the ISK.

"I have yet to decide. The doctors, who I am paying a lot of money to, say you'll be out of here in another five days. You'll find orders awaiting you then. Think of it as a test." Drackarn turned to leave. "Pass and we'll carry on. Fail and....." he never finished the last sentence as he left. His words handing ominously in the air.

-o0o-

The XO had never been to this hanger before. In fact he never knew it existed. It was a private one berth facility at the back of the station. Apparently it was used by VIP's who wanted to keep their visit discreet. He looked up at the docking control office that overlooked the hanger. It was empty. Everywhere was empty. Nobody was around. As per his orders he boarded the Hawk via the forward bridge access. When he reached his seat some form of strange helmet with a blacked-out visor was on his chair. He sat down and placed the headset on. Suddenly his vision was replaced with a view of the ship.

"Good morning. Good to see you are fit again" Drackarn's voice was transmitting through the speakers in the helmet. "The device you are wearing gives you access to the camera drones we capsuleers use to see when we are in our pods." The view span as the drones circled the ship. The XO wondered why he was being shown this, when was the test? A control panel appeared in his view.

"The headset allows limited control of the ship through direct brain scanning and iris tracking" Please focus on the ship start up controls on the screen in front of your eyes.

The XO looked over the floating control panel and found the startup panel. He focused on the correct sequence of buttons and heard the ship come to life. The reactor powered up and the engines started idling. He felt the ship move as it left the docking clamps and was hovering in the hanger, held in place with powerful tractor beams.

"Of course this interface is terribly limited and is working by following your eye movements with some minor input from your brain activity, you could never hope to do the same job as a capsuleer but it will suffice for this test"

"What's the test" the XO asked nervously.

"In a few moments I'll want you to test fire the afterburners. You might think that is a strange test, but you need to learn... every decision has consequences"

Suddenly the view of the ship broke up and went black. When it came back the view was divided into four separate screens plus the control panel along the bottom. The first panel activated, it was a zoomed out view of the ship. The second panel activated, it was a close up of the engines. The third panel activated. The XO swallowed hard. It was Aralia. She was hanging by her wrists. It looked like it was somewhere in this hanger. The last panel activated. It was a side view showing Aralia hanging directly behind the ship, at the same height as the engines.


"As I said, consequences" Drackarns voice came over the headset "Please test fire the afterburners whenever you are ready"

Aralia started screaming. The XO then realised she must be able to hear.

"Oh god, no" he muttered.

"Jon! Is that you?" Aralia said. The headset must have a microphone.

"Yes Aralia. It's me" He said solemly.

"Please don't do this. Please! Not like this. Come out here, bring me down and shoot me in the head. But not this. Please!" there was desperation in her voice. The capsuleer had gone quiet, but he still must be listening.

The XO closed his eyes he couldn't bear to see her hanging there.

"Open them!" Drackarn snapped. Jon opened his eye's instantly.

"Close your eyes again and you'll find youself hanging next to her. Now I'm giving you 60 seconds to complete the test"

Jon studied the last two panels. Even in this situation she looked beautiful, hanging there from a distance, but the close-up showed the terror in her eyes. Jon thought about the times they'd spent in the back-up reactor bay. The things they had done in there. His hand went up to remove the headset but stopped short. Then he remembered her standing there with the smoking gun pointing at him. The way she had sneered at him as he lay dying. The way she had described how the her and her militia were going to kill everyone on board his ship.

"Aralia" he whispered. He saw her look at the camera, still terrified.

"I love you...."

She smiled through her tears.

"But this is war."

The sudden realisation made her go wide-eyed. She mouthed the word 'no' as he activated the afterburner.

She screamed in pain and terror as the jet of flame struck her. The XO forced himself to watch, he dare not close his eyes. It was over in a matter of seconds. As the afterburner had run it's single cycle and deactivated all that was left was a length of chain, slowly swaying behind the ship. The end of the chain was melted and glowing bright orange from the heat.


The XO ripped the headset off and dropped to his knees before vomiting on the deck. He rolled over sobbing uncontrollably.

"This is war. Don't forget that." the capsuleers voice boomed over the speakers in the bridge.

"If you can live with what you have done today, we'll be leaving at 0800 sharp tomorrow"

The ships systems deactivated leaving the XO sobbing on the deck of the dimly lit ship.

-o0o-

"So are you going to tell him the truth" Aralia asked. She was secured to a metal chair in a small room, deep in an abandoned part of the station.

"May be" Drackarn had his back to her. He turned off the screen which showed the security footage of the bridge on the Hawk. "May be not. If he turns up in the morning then I know he's a man I can count on. If he doesn't, well who cares!"

"You fracking capsuleers are all evil!"

"Really?" Drackarn turned around and appeared to ponder the statement for a moment, "I would have said stringing you up behind the frigate and roasting you for real would have been properly evil. Using a computer-generated holographic simulation was just.... cruel?" He smirked at her.

"So why didn't you?"

"Oh don't get me wrong. I'd happily string you up there myself. But maybe I'd just use the engines on low power and take my time. The afterburner appears to be far too quick.

Araylia swallowed hard.

"But we have a live and kicking, covert agent of the Caldari State Protectorate here. I think you're worth more to us alive than dead. You look young enough not to be out of training long. I assume there is a hidden low-sec base where you slimy squids get taught your trade."

"You'll never get anything from me! I'll die first."


"We'll see." Drackarn walked to the door and started to leave. "We'll see."

As he left through the door and a large, bald headed man of Amarrian descent entered the room pushing a trolley covered by a white sheet.

"Find out what she knows. I want their base of operations before tomorrow" the Amarrian nodded in silence and the capsuleer left the room without turning back.

-o0o-

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Fanfest - The Aftermath


Got back home late last night. What a fantastic time. Met some great people, violenced spaceships, geeked it up, drank a LOT and had a very, very good time!


Looking forward to next year, but if I could make some suggestions....

1. PvP Tournament
Have rounds one and two on the first day. They take up a lot of time, not a huge number of spectators are intersted and those that are PvP'ing are missing out on presentations and round tables. We got through to round 3 and missed the FW presentation, the Eve Keynote and others.

2. Better Spread of RT's
Several slots had a single round-table that was obviously going to be massively popular in a sea of meh. This led to a bun fight trying to get in and led to crowded rooms and people unable to get it. The Black Op's RT on day one was a good example. Need to spread the RT's a bit better.

3. This is Eve Online Fanfest
And whilst I accept there are plenty of people who are really excited about DUST514 and I'm one of the "meh" lot, there was a lot of DUST taking up the schedule!

4. Don't Take Development Decisions on Shouts
It was asked if we the players wanted CCP to invest 5 man-years of development turning Eve into a DX11 game. What did you expect from the crowd at CCP Presents after watching those videos. But if gameplay and iterations suffer because of lack of developers/art resources, we could have another Incarna. And all the "Well we asked you at Fanfest if you wanted this!" won't make the slightest difference.

5. Get a burger van near the Harpa
Given the rush between the day events finishing and the evening ones starting it was difficult to grab a decent bite to eat ;)


6. Tell the Whiners to HTFU
Wow! I had no idea we had so many whiners in Eve Online. Epic tears are epic! But they can easily take over the roundtables with their constant blubbing. The CCP guys need to say "Thanks for your salty input but we need to give other people a chance to speak". No need at the large presentations as the audience does a good job of that :)


Now, onto Mittengate. I don't see the problem, he just got pissed and made a silly mistake. The issue here is simply...

"When you have a LOT of enemies, don't go handing out free hand grenades!"

84% of the entire planet now knows Mitttens, whilst arseholed, made a joke about griefing a player who claimed to be suicidal after the goons ganked him.

Now I'm not an expert, but would a truly suicidal person say this in an Eve mail to the people who just ganked you? Apparently the guy is still very much alive, flying around in his Mackinaw's and from what I've heard doesn't really care about these events.

But the Mitten haters do. They've lept on this and are shouting from the rooftops how offended they are. Like most complaints of this nature I bet 40% have never seen the video and another 40% saw it and didn't take offence until someone posted on the forum that they were offended.

It would appear that he's got a 30-day ban (confirmed), he's stepping down as CSM7 Chairman (confirmed) and will not be on the CSM 7 at all (not sure here).


What people don't realise is that now Eve Online has come out of this for the worse. Mittens did a metric f*ckton of good for Eve during CSM 6. Without his "publicity" steering CCP god knows where we would be now. He generates content, Eve is a nasty little universe and without people like Mittens it turns into Farmville in space.

I'm not a goon.
I don't like suicide ganking
I don't like scamming
I don't like tear harvesting
I don't like goon tactics.

But I do believe the Goon's make Eve a better game.

All of you bears and Mitten-haters who are rubbing your hands together in glee right now..... you'd better prepare. I think there may be a storm coming.....

Monday, March 26, 2012

Fanfest - Day 3

Ouch.... what day is it? Is it day? ***k me!


Unsurprisingly I was late for the start. I arrived to the Eve Movie Morning just to catch the last minute of Clear Skies III. Next video was a RnK carrier video. They are pretty awesome PvP'rs.

Next up was the war dec presentation. Some interesting stuff which is well covered here.

In summary:-

  • Wars last at least a week.
  • Defenders can surrender by offering ISK (then enforced 7 days of peace).
  • Defenders can hire mercs to join the war (attackers cannot)
  • New killmails and war report look like popular killboards
  • Cost is based on size of defending corp. 20m for 20 man corp plus 500,000 per member. Decing big corps will be expensive.
  • War avoidance loopholes closed. People who drop corp during a war are flagged on their character sheet!
  • War history on corp and characters info sheets
  • Mercenary market place so corps can offer their services to asssit defenders.


Hopefully this will create more fighting. I know it has led to more tears. The Q&A was full of them but props to CCP for sticking to risk vs reward. If you want to be immune to war decs join an NPC corp. Yes you won't have access to POS', yes the tax rate is high! But if you want greater rewards, you need to take greater risk!

Next up was the game design panel which was a long line of Dev's just answering questions from the players.


Plenty of obscure questions. Nothing really earth shattering to talk about! Sent a few messages on Twitter to find alternative entertainment and left early.

Met Seismic Stan of Freebooted/Blog Banter/Tech4News fame for a chat on a little thing we're going to be working on together. Was really interesting to brainstorm together. He had ideas, I had ideas but together they turned into great ideas. Looking forward to this!

Then it was time to venture out to get some food before "CCP Presents"


It was a fairly popular talk....


You really need to see the whole thing when it's uploaded to YouTube. However here are the key points...

Hans Jagerblitzen (who this blog has been campaigning for) won an alternative seat on the CSM.


The Future Vision of Eve is still the future vision of Eve

The new launcher will allow CCP to "insta patch" the client when small bugs are found rather than waiting.

We then saw what Eve would look like in DX11. Amazing was the word. A Sansh ship in an asteroid belt, amazing details and small roids bouncing off the shields (giving shield strike effects) and fracturing into smaller roids. It's going to take 5 man-years to do (a entire team for 1 year) and it was asked if we as the players wanted this. Generally it was a "Yes". I'm sat on the fence myself. Yes it looked awesome, but 5 man-years of development that could go on iterations? Mmmmmmmmm.

There is going to be a Faction War link in Dust514.


April 24th will see a small expansion released as a precursor to Inferno featuring Incursion iteration, rogue drone stuff and ship balancing.

Then a month or two later we get Inferno with:-

New war dec system
New modules (Micro jump drive, smart shielding, drone mods)
War UI Improvements
Faction War Iteration
New Inventory
New missile launchers with new effects
New module effects
Amarr V3 skinning
Minmatar V3 skinning
Sleeve tattoos for avatars
+ little things

Future stuff on the horizon -

Ring mining (moo goo?)


More ships and balancing (Frigs and cruisers better for new players, newer ships for vets)

After war, harvesting will be the theme for the next expansion and then industry.

Customisable POS' and outposts were mentioned.


Taking stuff away from NPC's and giving to players (station services?)

Make smuggling a viable profession and boost low-sec



Improve how the game is presented


Make meaningful Avatar gameplay (exploring ancient stations)


And then, of course it had to finish on a video....



There is much, much more that was presented, you'll need to watch the full two hours to know the lot!

So 2 hours later it was the party!

Permaband were awesome live. The crap mobile phone footage and sound doesn't do it justice (see bottom)!

In between sets I drank, spoke to Mandrill, Geddonz, Ned (aka CCP Manifest), Hilmar and various others who I have no recollection of their names! Got back to the hotel at 4am and had to try and upload the mobile phone content for the day before the paid internet ran out at 9am! Here it is, just dumped below....

Went to find food, saw this!








You can tell this guy feels lucky to have his picture taken with the author of this blog! 

W-BR puppy, Koratte and S810 jr









Oh did the video upload? Meh, it's pretty crap. Much better live

And that was it! Woke up at 10am and packed up, checked out for 12, had an hour reading Templar One (Thanks Sindel!) and jumped on bus. Uneventful flight back to UK, wife picks me up from Heathrow and drives me back to her parents where we have two days before back to the Middle East. She wants to see my blog. Oh shit! Now need a decent explanation for that photo of me on day 1 with Sindel! Better make it a good one otherwise I'll not be coming back next year, then again I probably will, just depends if I'm a divorcee or not!

Don't make me choose woman ;)