Sunday, August 11, 2013

Killing, in Very Low Resolution

As normal on a Saturday morning I'm up well before the wife, so time for some Eve-O.

I get a few T1 frigate kills including this absolute gem.

Yes that is a triple stabbed Merlin with a cloak. A sad reflection on the state of the Caldari Militia these days! I then found a Caldari Navy Hookbill in a plex. Now I have found these fitted with stabs too lately, but I have to assume he's going to fight. Also I'm in a 10mn AC Thrasher, if he's rocket fit and on the warp in, he would get under my guns and I'd be dead. Then again a lot of Caldari in this area just fly 'kitey' ships so they can run away when needed. Mmmmmmmm.

Oh well, fortune favours the bold!


Oh dear. He was at zero. Oh dear, he was be dual web. Bugger I was in trouble. Only one thing for it!

I overheated my guns and my AB and aligned trying to put some distance between us. He was winning but I was able to get a couple of kilometres between us and my guns start grazing his shields. I was dropping fast through shields and soon into armour. The damage control unit slowed my armour loss but he still had the upper hand. I could see one of us was going to die before the guns or AB burn out so I left them overheated. I was soon in low armour when a good volley puts him into structure. I entered structure and got another good volley which assploded him.

My Thrasher was in hull and my guns were 90% damaged. But the Hookbill is dead. I swing around towards the wreck as two random Gallente enter the plex. Too late boys! Time to loot the....

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, SPIT!

What the......? Oh the itteh bitteh kitteh has been found by one of the older cats in the corner of the computer room. They still are not 'integrated' so we do still get cat fights. Anyway there is a white fluffy blur as the kitten races around the room pursued by the big tabby which is about three times her size. She races over the bed and then jumps onto the computer desk at speed..... straight into my full cup of steaming tea..... that is then propelled across the desk.... with the contents landing on top of the PC case.... that happens to be a gaming case...... and has a grill in the top with fan. This is great for keeping the case cool, not so for keeping popular british beverages out.

My monitors go blank, the hum of the high speed fans dies instantly, the PC is dead. Ganked by a cup of Twinnings English Breakfast Tea fired from a six month old kitten. The sudden silence of the room is broken by a Vader-esque NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


The wife, who is now up, comes running in to see what disaster has befallen me. She realises the gravity of the situation when I say the kitten has killed my gaming PC and quickly rescues it before it becomes a spicy kebab.

I quickly unplug it (the computer, not the kitteh), take the side covers off and inspect. It appears to be dry inside but there is clearly a problem as the spilt tea killed it. So I strip the cables from the back and take it outside and leave it half an hour. As a desert dweller, it is over 41oC out there so I'm pretty sure that within 30 minutes any rogue tea will have dried. Back in the computer room I attached the power cable and try to start it up. When I press the on button I see a brief milli-second of fan 'spinage' on the GPU cooler but that is it, nothing from the MoBo or any of the other fans or coolers. I disconnect the PSU from the MoBo and everything else and use a paperclip to hotwire it. You can do this by linking pins in the big plug that goes normally into the MoBo. I attach the power cable for the water cooler to test. Turning on the PSU shows that the PSU is fine and the watercooler is churning like a good 'un. So its not the PSU that has died. I take a step back and look at the case. The graphics card is big. In fact it is likely to have acted as 'tea umbrella'. So I pull that from the board, reconnect all the PSU cables back to the MoBo and hit the power switch.

Whir! BEEP!


So it is at least posting and it would appear the graphics card is fried and was stopping the PC booting. My MoBo has on-board graphics, so I take it back to the desk and reconnect everything back up. I get back into Windows with it looking like we're back in 95 with a terribad resolution. Of course! The on-board graphics have never been used and therefore never set up. So I try and download drivers. Of course I haven't plugged all the cables back into the exact same USB slots so the damn thing is not recognising my USB modem now. After swapping it twice I find a USB port that it likes (why do some USB devices do that???) and get online. A 90mb download later and I'm back onto 1920x1080 dual screen goodness (it technically was dual screen before on the generic VGA drivers but one screen simply duplicated the other).

So the big question is, will Eve Online run on integrated graphics on this motherboard? A sad thought that 90 minutes ago I was on a 2gb overclocked GTX670. I fire up Eve and it works, but is 'clunky'. I reduce all settings from maximum to minimum and also reduce my Windows resolution from 1920 down to 1600. Eve appears to be more playable now even if its looking a bit like Minecraft!


Surprisingly the wreck of that Hookbill is still there so I scoop the loot and dock up. At this point it was time to meet the gang down the bar for an afternoon session so I closed everything down, scowled at the kitten (no kittehs were harmed during this nerd rage) and went for a well deserved pint slightly happier than I was an hour ago.

Five hours later and I'm back home and back in new Eden. I log on to hear there is a Tristan plexing in the dead-end system nextdoor. An ideal test to see how Eve PvP runs on the 'power' of Intel HD 2500 graphics. I stick my Cockbag Thrasher on the stargate and a few minutes he is chased out. BANG! BANG! A Tristan plus a nice 200m+ ISK pod to celebrate my introduction to low-sec-low-res PvP. That was OK, but I think I need a real challenge. I swap the Cockbag to my repaired 10mn Thrasher, and head to Hirri, a favorite system for Caldari Militia, pirates and pirate-hunting neuts.

After about 5 minutes I get a Thrasher on short scan. I load RF EMP and wait (yes I took a gamble). A neutral Thrasher enters the plex. If they are entering a faction war plex then they are probably anything but neutral. Especially with me being -10. I open fire first as he's not blue. He is AC/MWD fit and is hitting me but I'm hitting him harder. He gets back up a few seconds later in a second Thrasher. The first Thrasher starts making range as he hits armour and his mate takes over. I swap to the new Thrasher as I myself start to enter armour. My guns start stripping the new guy of his shields as his mate burnt out to 45km away. The fleeing Thrasher swings back around and starts heading back. I overheat the guns and swing around trying to close range, but trying to also keep the second guy at optimals. It works and the second Thrasher goes down and I overheat my point and AB and grab the original Thrasher. My artilleries are OK at this long range but his autocannons are useless. I manage to take him down in a couple of long range volleys.

So a successful 2v1 Thrasher-threesome. Eve might look pants running on intergrated graphics, but plays just as great as always.

Plus now I get a trip up to the big city at the weekend to buy a new graphics card! Wife's idea not mine!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Shadows of the Past

Fiction Friday! Escape pod available here if fiction doesn't float your boat.... or your spaceship.


Shadows of the Past

"Oh Jacques! It is beautiful!"

The recently retired Gallente Admiral took a sip of his wine as his wife slowly ran her hand over the gold links of the necklace in the red velvet lined box. She traced a finger down to the oval centre piece set with precious stones.

"It looks very old, it must be an antique." she enquired.

"It is old, but I have no idea how old. It was found along with some other ancient artefacts embedded in an asteroid in the Genesis Region during my final mission. All that we really know is it is very old. I was able to call in some favours and ensure once the lab rats had been over the items I would get the necklace."

Jacques stood and moved behind his wife taking the necklace and placing it around her neck. She carefully held her long hair out of the way as he attached the snap. He returned to his seat and nodded in approval.

"I thought it would be something special for our 50th Anniversary" he said with a smile.

His wife nodded and raised her glass which the Admiral did likewise. The glasses clinked together over the table.

"An asteroid." the wife mused "I wonder how it got there."

-o0o-

Thirteen millennia previously.......

"There it goes again! Another Tachyon spike!"

The technicians colleague rose from his chair and moved over his shoulder to see the screen.

"That's the biggest one this month. 450 nearly. We sure this isn't the start of some new activity cycle?"

The two men stood in silence thinking. The energy emissions from the wormhole had been strange during the last six months. Tachyon, gamma and theta readings had grown from insignificant to major. However the scientists on the array had assured everyone that it was nothing to be concerned about. However, everyone had remained concerned none the less.

The monitoring array was a massive station constructed in deep space. There were no stars or planets for two light years in any direction. The only things in this area were a rouge asteroid belt with a small colony, the monitoring array and the gate.

Technician Smith rose from his console and walked to the window. The huge construct was clearly in view a few kilometres from the array. A homage to the ingenuity of the human race. A massive ring constructed around a wormhole in an unknown part of the universe. When completed it will be the largest man-made structure ever built along with its sister gate back in the Milky Way. When finished the two gates would stabilise the massive static wormhole that had led them there to the system of New Eden. They had been under construction for the past seven decades and it would still be another five years before they were fully completed. Thankfully the egg-heads had estimated the wormhole had another 20 years of life left without the stabilising gate.


There was a flash as a huge freighter emerged from the wormhole. It sat still for a few moments before it vanished in a flash as it activated its own jump drive. Within a few seconds it will have covered the two light-years and be in orbit around New Eden planet 1. From there it would begin its journey to what ever colony it was carrying supplies to.

Technician Peck was still looking at the readings on the console.

"Things seem to have stabilised again. Its weird. I guess they were right to name it after a woman. Just like one of them, I'm not sure we'll ever figure this one out! Actually talking of women, isn't it your anniversary today?"

Smith turn away from the window smiling.

"Yup! And I need to get going. Taking Sara to Yven's later!"

Peck blew a low whistle. Yven's was a very upmarket restaurant located on the nearby asteroid colony. The colony was the first settlement in New Eden, created by the first explorers as a staging post. Now it was a resort for people on the journey between New Eden and the Milky Way. Reservations were required 200 earth-days in advance to secure a table. The restaurant overlooked the Eve Gate under a massive dome. People came from all over to eat beneath the stars and the gate.

"Make sure you bring me a doggy bag for covering for you" Peck shouted out as he left.

-o0o-

The string quartet played classical Earth music from the 6th millennia, widely considered to be the height of musical creativity in the Milky Way. Smith finished his soup and looked across at Sara who was smiling at him.

"What?" he enquired.

"Nothing" she smiled "Just cannot believe we've been married for five years."

He returned the smile and reached under his chair and brought up a small box which he placed in front of her. Smiling she slowly opened the box and gasped. She reached in and withdrew the golden necklace with the stone encrusted oval.

"This must have cost you a fortune!"

"You are worth it." he replied.

In reality it had been his mothers, she had left it him when she had died a few years earlier.

"I have to admit, I didn't get you anything, but when I get you back to our quarters I'm going to...."

Sara was interrupted by a loud bleeping. Several patrons on surrounding tables gave disapproving looks as Smith fumbled with his communicator. He quickly shut it off and mouthed 'sorry' to those looking at him annoyed.

"Sorry" he said to Sara "I was sure I'd turned it off! Anyway, you were telling me...."

The bleeping started again. He knew he had turned it off that time. There was only one way it would beep now. The emergency over-ride. As a technician on the monitoring array his communicator was fitted with an emergency over-ride. If someone entered the right code the communicator would still receive the signal and turn itself back on. He sheepishly put the communicator to his ear and bent down.

"WHAT?" he hissed "This is not a good time!"

"Smith, get back here now, something is wrong" Peck sounded very worried.

"What is it?" Smith asked himself sounding worried.

"Tachyons just spiked again. Forget the the 450 earlier, this one was 9213!"

Smith sat in silence as the gravity of the situation hit him. The egg-heads had said the Tachyon burst were the best indication of the stability of the wormhole. Anything under 1000 was normal. 5000 was the level they had deemed the collapse to be near.

"Smithy? Smithy? Are you there? Did you hear what I just said? The Tachyon reading, its over...."

"I hear what you said!" Smith cut him off. "It must be an error. What about the Gamma and theta readings, I'm sure if you check them you will find...."

This time Smith was cut off, a loud alarm could be head through the communicator. It went silent after a few seconds.

"There you go! I turned off the gamma and theta alarms as I couldn't hear myself think. Still think this is a scanner malfunction?"

Smith went silent. The fact the alarms were going off meant only one thing. The egg-heads had been wrong, so very wrong. Sara looked at him worried as Smith rose from his chair and angled is head upwards. Several other patrons looked at his strange behaviour and tried to see what he was looking at. A eerie silence fell over the room as everyone stared up at the gate. As usual thousands of ships were clustered around the gate, but the wormhole itself was pulsating. Blue and purple colours erupted from its centre and strange forks of lightning streaked across its face striking and grounding on the gate surrounding it.


Smith grabbed Sara and pulled her to the door.

"What is it?" she shouted, her voice thick with fear.

"Deeper, we've got to get deeper" he yelled back as he rushed out of the restaurant and to the emergency stairwell.

Hand in hand they rushed down the stairs leaving the metallic walls of the outpost behind to be replaced with rough stone. Finally they got to the bottom. Mining equipment lay scattered around and the main stone corridor ended abruptly. Smith started looking down the other corridors.

"What are we doing here?" Sara gasped out of breath.

"We need to be deeper! The gate!" Smith replied "Its about to collapse!"

-o0o-

Back on the monitoring array Peck was surrounded by an assortment of scientists and officers. All hell was breaking loose. Aggressive shouting and finger pointing was rampant out as the technician monitored the readings. An officer stooped down next to him.

"Tell me son. How long have we got?"

Peck looked again at the readings.

"Sir, the data provided by the science section says the wormhole should have collapsed already under these readings. Its all theoretical physics sir. Nobody knows. All I can tell you is we are at double the readings they said would be present when it died."

The commander stood and retrieved his communicator and told everyone to be quiet.

"This is Commander Evans" he said in a slow commanding voice "I am enacting the Nova Protocol. I repeat I am enacting the Nova Protocol. I am transmitting bio-confirmation now."

A few seconds later the abandon station alarms sounded. Peck simply walked to the window. He knew it was pointless. He watched many of the ships in space vanish into artificial wormholes created by their jump drives. The Nova Protocol was the warning that the gate was collapsing and included a system-wide message to all ships to leave as quickly as possible. Only those with a jump-drive would be able to get far enough, and none of the ships or pods on the monitoring station had that capability. Those fleeing the station now where as doomed as he was.

Peck folded his arms and started directly at the Eve gate that was now a maelstrom of uncontrolled energy. He picked up his communicator.

"Smithy. I don't know if you can hear this, the disruption is too bad. But the wormhole is collapsing. We've got minutes. If you are with Sara, tell her you love her, its the end for all of us my friend."

The wormhole released a massive eruption of raw energy before starting to pulsate fast.

"Come at me bro" Peck muttered as the gate exploded with the force of a super nova.

-o0o-

The Present Day......

"It is a fascinating find!" the older Gallente woman stood on the podium addressing the small conference. "In my 40 years as an archaeologist I've never seen anything like it!"

Around two hundred academics had come to the lecture.

"The asteroid was found passing through the 'Promised Land' system in Genesis. However, mineral composition indicates that it originated from the New Eden system, one light-year away."

There were murmurs from the audience.

"The asteroid itself shows that one side was subject to a massive energy blast. However, there was no corresponding concussive force. This asteroid was not pushed out of its original position by a super nova, it was something else!".

The woman continued to detail the find and that metals embedded in the surface indicated there were structures built on to the asteroid that had been vaporised by the energy blast. She then went onto detail the main focus of the find, the only evidence that there was anything man-made on the asteroid, a buried stairwell.

"At the bottom of this sole surviving structure, the simple stairwell, we found a half constructed corridor. There was construction equipment of an origin we have never seen before. The technology does not match any of the current races of New Eden or the Talocan, Takmahl or Jan Jung."

She went through number of slides showing the artefacts recovered. Mostly they were excavators and tunnelling devices of an unknown origin. A small communicator device was shown, first in position in the dirt and then on a lab table dissembled.

"But this slide is perhaps the most incredible."

A slide showing two skeletons intertwined was received with gasps from the audience.


"We think they went down there to try to escape the calamity that was befalling the outpost. However testing has revealed that the blast that struck the asteroid had gamma and theta radiation readings off the charts. They would have died instantly even deep inside the asteroid. Their position indicates they were in each others arms as the radiation blast hit. DNA sequencing and carbon dating revealed three things. First they were man and woman, likely lovers, married or just strangers comforting each other as the end came. A boxed necklace found next to them indicated it was likely one of the former two. The second thing was these skeletons are thirteen thousand years old. And finally, their DNA does no match any of the five races of New Eden."

The room fell deadly quiet.

"But DNA profiling shows that all five races of New Eden are related to these humans. Dearly gathered Gallente, Amarrian, Matari and Caldari of this audience. I give you your ancestors!"

The room erupted in shouts and screams especially from the Amarrians.

Several light years away two old Navy brass were watching on a monitor.

"Well that reaction was as expected." said one Admiral.

"Quite." replied the other. "I assumed those Amarrians would not be pleased with that conclusion as it goes against their teachings. They'll be arguing over this for years to come."

"Yes. But never mind them. You must be thrilled. Your last assignment before retirement and your task force makes this discovery of the century!".

Jacques nodded.

"So as your retirement gift what did you ask for yourself? I know retiring admirals get pretty much they ask for. What did you get for yourself?"

"For me?" replied the admiral slowly stroking the ancient red velvet box containing the necklace on the table next to him "I didn't ask for anything for me."

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Fitting Cockups For New Bro's

A couple of days ago a conversation was struck up on Twitter. It all started when Sindel commented that she'd been chatting to a new player as part of her charitable work in The Angel Project and it was cute or something that this guy was saving hard for a Rupture. That then started a flood of comments from the older players about their first cruisers and battlecrusiers. That moved onto how long they lasted (most were dead in days, I still have my first BC and that is 5 years old!) and finally onto the terribad fits we used.


I had some corking ones! As a newb who was playing Eve solo I had no help so experimented... and failed badly. I also asked around the #tweetfleet asking for their classic cock-ups. So here is what I learnt.

Cloaking Devices
The Idea - Come on! Cloaks are cool! Have you seen Star Trek! They are awesome and will allow you to take your enemy by surprise or evade capture!
The Reality - Cloaks have some pretty nasty side effects unless you are using the Covert Ops Cloak and a hull specially designed for using them. The idea of sneaking up on someone and then decloaking and blasting them to bits sounds good in practice, but the sensor recalibration time after you decloak means the target has lots of time to run away or blow you into little bits.

Mixed Sized Guns
The Idea - Large guns work well against large ships, small ones well against small ships. Sooo I want some big ones, some medium ones and some small ones so I can take on anyone!
The Reality - You will be massively gimping your attack power by doing this. You won't be effective against all ship types, you'll actually be ineffective against all ship types! You need to rely on drones, energy neutralisers and EWar to deal with small ships if you are in a bigger one. If you mix the gun sizes, you'll die to everyone! Fit the right sized guns for your ship!


Lasers Must be the Best
The Idea - Its the future! We have missiles, railguns and projectile weapons already. Lasers must be the best weapon as they are most futuristic! Fit them to everything!
The Reality - Each weapon has its own strengths and weaknesses and are generally balanced (ish). Lasers are no better or worse than the other types. However, most ship hulls convey a bonus to their racial weapons type. You could be losing big time fitting a weapon on a hull that wasn't designed for it.

Dual Tank
The Idea - Shield tank plus armour tank! I'll be very hard to kill!
The Reality - No you won't. For a start one of those tanks will be poor as most ships are designed to concentrate on one type, either shield or armour. Also you are unlikely to have the CPU, power grid or capacitor to fit it well. Finally you'll be missing out on damage mods and ewar. Dual tanks don't work and are reserved for very rare and very specific circumstances.


Missing Slots
The Idea - I've just got this new hull. I cannot fill all the slots but the ship is so much more powerful I'll be OK.
The Reality - No you won't. If your fitting skills are so low that you cannot effectively fit the ship, do not fly it. Get the skills up first to ensure your ship is properly kitted out. Otherwise it won't end well!

Warp Core Stabalisers on a Combat Ship
The Idea - If someone points me I can still get out if I need to.
The Reality - WCS gimp your sensors, badly. Best case you'll get a 40% reduction to targeting range and a 40% reduction to your scanner resolution. You're enemy will have a great advantage with your low targeting range and sloooow lock speed. Plus if they have a scrambler rather than a disruptor you'll still not be able to warp out. Fit two? Then yes, you can escape when scrammed by a single ship. But then you are taking two hits and will be blind as a bat (relatively speaking)!


Stack Up The Modules
The Idea - Right on my Thorax I'll put five magnetic field stabilisers and kill all the things with my uber damage bonused guns!
The Reality - Most modules that grant a bonus to your ship have what is called a stacking penalty. Each one after the first is less effective. This article explains it in full details. Generally it is considered that the 3rd module is OK, but the 4th is so heavily penalised that there is little point in actually fitting it. Same with most tank modules too. You might want to close that EM hole in your shield tank, but only use 3 modules max that effect the EM resist.

That Module Sounds Cool! I'll Fit It!
The Idea - Reinforced bulkheads! They sound like they make your ship well hard! I'll fit a few!
The Reality - It is said real men hull (structure) tank. If that was true then real men die fast and easy in New Eden. Never structure tank* EVER!


Thanks to the following from the #tweetfleet who had something to share on this:-

‏@wartzilla
@MorwenLagann
‏@silent810
@webspaceships
‏@ericscho
@phyridean
@Thansoli
@SpaceKazz


*ofc Damage Control Units technically give you a good hull boost and are a useful mod overall

Monday, August 5, 2013

BB48 - In The Future, In a Star Cluster Far, Far Away.....


Welcome to the continuing monthly EVE Blog Banters and our 48th edition! For more details about what the blog banters are visit the Blog Banter page.

This month's topic is a request from CCP Sisyphus who wants to know how important is Lore in EVE Online?

"How important is “fluff” in Eve online? Would Eve Online be the same if it were purely numbers and mechanics, or are the fictional elements important to the enjoyment of the game? Would a pure text, no reference to sci-fi or fancy names still be an engaging game? Should CCP put more or less emphasis on immersion?"


For me, MOAR! MUCH MOAR!

I'm a sci-fi fan. I love the setting of Eve, its back-story and its lore. I've always been into this sci fi gaming genre from Warhammer 40k (when you had a rule book so thick you could beat whales to death with it) to the tabletop Star Wars RPG before PC's started to come of age in the mid-90s.

I have read every CCP chronicle, all the scientific articles, all three novels as well as a lot of player created lore. Mark726's lore guide is a great example. I think that the setting and the lore have kept me in this game for so long.

Last week I celebrated my 5th year of Eve Online. No breaks, no gaps, five years straight. No game has ever sucked me in that badly before. I've been a PC gamer since the early 90's. Wolfenstien 3D FTW! I played by first proper MMOG in the very late 90's with Everquest. Then there was Star Wars: Galaxies before WoW (sorry) and then Age of Conan and Warhammer Online. I enjoyed all those games, but not one have gotten close to Eve Online.


A big part of the draw of Eve for me is the lore. I am sure there are large numbers of people out there who play Eve who have zero interest in the lore. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if these people outnumber us lore buffs. But I've said this many times before, Eve Online is not a single game. Therefore it doesn't attract a single type of players. From market traders who never undock, through hi-sec mission runners and miners, down to low-sec pirates and null-sec sov holders, each gets something different out of the game. There will be some that are interested that the Chimera class carrier was originally a water freighter. Some couldn't give a toss!

For me the lore is essential for immersion. I need to know why I'm sat in this spaceship, 20,000 years in the future in a unknown part of the universe. How does warp drive work? How do stargates work? How did Old Man Star get its name? Has Empress Jamyl ever had a drug-fuelled lesbo orgy?*

Knowing this enhances the game for me. People who have seen this blog before will probably already know this. I love the story telling in New Eden as you can see on my own fiction page here. Yes I am a geek, and its worse, I am a sci-fi geek!


So far CCP has done a great job in giving us the backstory and fleshing out life in New Eden. There was a disappointing lull after the summer of rage when I believe the team that did a lot of the lore got hit badly, but it has picked up lately. However, most of the recent lore has been directed at the main storylines. It is picking up but it is still a shadow of the past, back in the good old days, before the summer of rage.

But I am also scared for the future of lore and story telling in New Eden.

At Fanfest CCP Seagull seemed to imply that they want the players to take the lead as the main characters in New Eden and not the fictional characters. Lately we're seeing the groundwork laid out for that, in my opinion anyway. The Heth, Roden, Jamyl et al story-lines appear to be heading in a direction where they can all die quietly. So what will happen then? Are we going to see the tyrant Heth replaced by the Mittani? Will President Roden step down so the Gallente Federation can be run by President Rixx Javix, after all why not replace an ex-pirate president with a current pirate president? Will Empress Jamyl's throne soon be occupied by Empress Sindel Pellion holding court with her legs on display? Will Roc Wieler become the Matari Prime Minister? Will Chribba take 3rd party negotiations to a new level by becoming the head of CONCORD? Will......... erm....... what was I saying? Got thinking about what the Amarr might be like in 2014 if all this came true..... sorry readers I've gone and distracted myself.....


It has potential to work well, but it also has potential for tits to be upwardly inclined. This is going to be much harder than simply writing stories about fictional characters. Letting players run the story? We will see.

I hope CCP will continue naming ships, modules and items giving context in the Lore. I would see planetary information expanded and developed. I want to know more about New Eden and the people there and the technology! I want to see more Eve art like the header pictures we used to get in the chronicles. Yes I am greedy!


For me, if I could guide CCP into just one thing in this area I would push to return to the 2009 hay-day of the Eve Online Chronicles. Back then we would get regular stories about New Eden and not just about the high-level story-lines. They would cover normal people living, working and dying in the brutal cluster of stars that is called New Eden.

Come on CCP, tell us a story!



*The answers to those four questions in tl;dr style are....

  1. Warp drive works by creating a 'depleted vacuum' which is a field devoid of all matter and energy that allows for anti-friction and FTL speeds. 
  2. Stargates work in pairs by opening and maintaining an artificial wormhole. Just don't ask about binary star systems!
  3. A factory ship with the crew in cryogenic stasis was sent to build a stargate in that system and it got hit by an asteroid as it entered the system. Only one man survived and he over the course of a few decades he managed to create an army of drones and build the gate himself to return home.
  4. Yes. She was rebelling immediately before her coronation, then Falak Grange 'joined in'' and spiked her "party poppers" with Vitoc, the big spoil-sport, and brought the fun to an end!


Friday, August 2, 2013

Jacked - Part 3

Friday Fiction! Multiple escape pods are available if you are not into Eve Online fiction...

Here and here. They both lead you to the epic musical Eve-O parody of "Dumb Ways to Die" with the first one to Rixx's blog and the second to Sindel's blog. I will warn you, that song WILL get stuck in your head for days.

Or you can go here to hear about an epic month of killing in Black Rise.

OK onto the fiction then. This is the final part of the Jacked short story. Part 1 is here and part 2 is here. I'm actually thinking of a spin off on this based on how this story ends............


Jacked Part 3

Inga was staring down at the two from a high walkway in engineering. She was casually observing the two men whilst flicking through the items recovered from the dead sholdier as she waited for her father to restart the engines. The recovered pistol had some form of bio-lock and was useless. His wallet contained few clues to who he was. Most interesting was a photo of a woman and small boy. She had initially thought wife and son, but they were Caldari. It was unlikely an Amarrian special forces soldier would marry anyone other than a pure Amarrian. It was strange.

The ship shuddered and the hum of the engines filled the cavernous engineering bay. She watched as her father was pushed out of the room back towards the cockpit by the Amarrian sholdier. Her message had been sent and her father knew she was free. He'd now be watching for her signs if she needed his help.

She crawled along the suspended walkway and entered a hatch. After a few twists and turns she stopped at a ventilation grill. She looked in to her parents quarters. Her mother was laying on the bed, curled up tight. The soldier was pacing by the door. He looked nervous.

The daughter continued along the duct and extracted the comms headset she'd taken from the dead soldier.

Back in the bridge the Amarian commander was reading his datapad when the comms line crackled.

"Say again 2."

More static as the comms line was opened and closed repeatedly.

"3. I'm just getting static from 2. Lock the mother in her room and go check on 2."

"Acknowledged." was the curt reply.

The soldier left the mothers quarters and secured the door from the outside. He looked down the corridor and immediately saw 'Two' slumped at the end against a door. He quickly drew his sidearm and scanned for potential threats.


"Commander. This is 3. I see 2. He's down. Going to check. Likely the girl is loose."

3 approached the body and saw the bloody wound in his chest.

"Sir. It looks like he stripped off. Wound to the chest. Probably a knife by the girl."

'Three' stooped down and removed a glove to check for a pulse.

"He's dead sir and...."

The soldier was cut short as a door slammed closed immediately behind him. He span around to see the girls face in the view port. The door was locked and he was now trapped in a small two by two meter room with his dead comrade.

"It was a trap sir. The girl has me locked in a small room."

"For fracks sake. You telling me a small girl has killed one of my 'elite' troops and trapped another in a storage closet? What the frack are you playing at! Get her!" the commander raged.

"Sir, there is another door behind me. I'll see if I can get out that.... oh god... No!"

"What is it 'Three'? Report."

"Sir. Its not a storage room. The other door, its an external door. Sir, I'm trapped in an airlo......."

A deafening hiss of escaping air, amplified by the combat microphone, made the commander on the bridge rip his earpiece out, his face scrunched up in pain. He rubbed his aching ear. He turned to the other soldier in the room.

"Sir, what is it?"

The Commander scowled at the captain.

"It would appear we underestimated the captains daughter. She's taken out 2 and 3 and is loose on the ship. Where is 5?"

"He's preparing the package in the cargo bay." replied the soldier.

"Five. Five! Respond! FIVE!"

-o0o-

Down in the cargo bay Five was working hard. As well as the large cargo containers of Quaffe, there was one of spare parts. He had opened that one and removed the ventilation system scrubbers. These scrubbers were located throughout ships and space stations and removed carbon dioxide from the air. He was currently hiding a canister into one of them.


Inga looked down on him from her elevated position as she exited the conduit from the deck above where she'd flushed the two Amarians into space. The small box she planted there previously when they had her father working on the engines was emitting white-noise across all spectrum's. She she had found the comms jammer on the first soldier and appeared part of their standard black ops kit. It had taken her only a few minutes to close the frequency hole that allowed them to jam other communicators in an area but still allowed theirs to work.

She slowly slid down a thick conduit landing silently 20 feet behind him. She carefully drew her knife from its sheath and crept forward.

Five was inspecting the final stainless steel canister. It needed to be positioned carefully inside the scrubber unit so it couldn't be seen with a general inspection. As he turned the shiny canister in his hands he saw a reflection and spun around instinctively going for his gun.

Inga was still three feet away and leapt forward. The gun came round fast, but she was faster. There was a flash as the gun discharged, her knife strike hitting him in the wrist and causing him to pull the trigger early. The shot went wide, slamming into the cargo bay wall. The gun clattered to the floor and the soldier staggered backwards with the Matari blade embedded in his forearm.

"You fracking bitch!" he hissed through clenched teeth.

Inga stood her ground as Five drew his knife with his left hand and, with a snarl, charged. Inga easily sidestepped the rage-fuelled manoeuvre and in lightning fast move looped a wire she had concealed in her other hand over his head as she dodged. She threw a small canister into the air which anchored magnetically onto the bottom side of a walkway above. A high-pitched whir sounded as a motor in the canister activated. The soldier was yanked off his feet into the air by the wire around his neck.

Inga stood in front of him as he thrashed, his hands trying in vain to pull the wire clear of his throat. However the thin wire was embedded in his flesh as his own bodyweight was choking him. Soon the thrashing stopped to a shudder. Inga went to retrieve her knife from his arm. She pulled it out and did a double take at the wound. The skin around the wound was separated in layers, like pages of a book. She carefully took the edge of the top layer and began to pull.

-o0o-

Four returned to the cockpit with a bundle of items in his arm. He dumped them on a table before laying them out for display.

"What did you find in her quarters?" the leader asked.

"Well it seems our little Hellcat on the run sees herself as the local Matari resistance. I've found datapads containing documents and guides from the Popular People's Tribal Liberation Front. In a secret compartment under her bed I've found all sorts of covert devices. She's a regularly little armature black-ops bitch. Seems she's been training herself." Four replied holding out a datapad which contained a guide simply called "How to Kill Amarrians".

The leader turned to the captain who was staring wide-eyed at the pile of home-made devices and make-shift weapons.

"It would appear this is a shock to you." the leader smirked.

"I....I..... I don't believe it!" Krar stammered.

"Well she has taken down two highly-trained operatives already. So what is not to......"

"Three!" Inga's voice boomed out of the communications system cutting the leader off. "Mr Five decided to hang around in the cargo bay for a while.... by his neck."

The Commander slowly shook his head. He approached the nearest comm panel and hit the broadcast button.

"Well, well. The slave-scum is on a bit of a rampage. Tell you what, you've had your fun. Now come up to the cockpit unarmed and we'll not hurt your mother."

The laugh echoed through the speakers.

"You cannot hurt her if you cannot find her" Inga replied into the comms panel deep in the ship.


The leader remembered she had been locked in her cabin but Three who had been guarding her had died looking for Two. The daughter had obviously moved her.

"OK then, we'll just start cutting bits off daddy then shall we?"

"You could, but then I'll flush your precious gas canisters into space. They are also attached to a small thermal device I made myself which actives on a timer linked to a pressure sensor. I hit my remote and your canisters are in space two seconds later, 10 seconds after they go up. So don't get any ideas about scooping them back up."

The leader ground his teeth.

"Oh and in another tube I've placed a small beacon with an attached datafile. The whole cluster is going to know your crack squad got taken out by a girl." Inga laughed.

"The Glorious Amarrian Empire will never...."

"Oh do shut up squid!"

The Leader did indeed shut up. Absolutely stunned. 'Squid', the derogatory name for the Caldari.

"What are you...."

"Look you Caldari idiot. Stop jabbering and listen. You and your squid buddy are going to exactly what I say."

The two soldiers exchanged worried glances whilst the Krar looked on in confusion.

"I don't know what you are trying to say....."

"Wow you Caldari are really stupid. I told you to shut up and you cannot help yourself. Let me make this clear right now, you are Caldari special forces, I have several items of proof which I have been contained in my recording. The pictures in your boys wallet were the first clue. Amarrian soldier with a Caldari family? I don't think so. Then the guy in the cargo bay. Once I had pealed a layer of skin off his arm I found the hidden Caldari tattoo's. You guys are all Caldari disguised as Amarrian. So cut the shit and lets negotiate or I can flush your goods into outer space before coming down there and put your face back to how it should be with my knife.... slowly."

The leader slumped into a chair, dejected. His mission ruined.

"Awwww don't be like that 'One'. I can see you on the security feed. Look, you can still make it out of here with your reputation intact. I just want you off the ship. Here is how we are going to do it." she teased.

-o0o-

The two Caldari soldiers sat in the escape pod as it ejected. At their feet were the remaining canisters with the small thermal charge strapped to them. The girl had talked them through to finding the canisters. The deal was simple, she could blow the canisters if they tried anything, but the standard comms jamming device they each had in their kit would stop her ability to do so. The only way they could have safely recovered the canisters was to get into the escape pod and jam her signal.

Therefore the two soldiers had jumped into the pod and jettisoned given that they feared the crazy girl would carry out her threat.

As soon as the pod was clear 'Two' began disarming the home-made device strapped to the canisters. It took him only one minute to render the booby-trap safe and detach it from the canisters of the gas.

They looked at each other in relief.

"Well I don't know how we're going to explain this epic failure to command." the leader sighed as the pod sped away from the hauler.

"At least we have all the canisters minus the one used on the cops. We'll just say the ship was actually an undercover base-ship for a crack Matari covert-ops team. We were over-run by them. Say there were 30 of them! No 50! Hell, we could say we should be given medals for saving the prototype canisters and not letting them fall into enemy ha....". 'Two' stopped as he tossed the home-made device in his hands. "Hang on, there is something scratched to the back of this." he stated as he looked at the disarmed boobytrap closely.

"Dear Squid. Well done in removing this device. However, I assume you were dumb enough not to bother to check the status of the canisters. Byeee."

The two men looked at each other in horror. 'Two' leapt forward and slid the access panel off the front of the first canister. The keypad was missing, it had been ripped out. 


The countdown glowed in a menacing red as it flicked from three, to two and then to one before there was a quiet hiss of escaping gas from the vents in the canister.

-o0o-

Fleet Admiral Korvani placed the datapad down and slowly shook his head. The Federal Navy Intelligence Officer stood at ease in front of his desk.

"Can we prove any of this?" the Admiral asked rubbing his temples.

"No sir, not with evidence of a sufficient standard for CONCORD to take it seriously."

The Admiral rubbed his forehead harder.

"So you are saying the Caldari tried to gas an entire Gallente station and we can do nothing about it? And you are sure Federation citizens were not the true target?"

"Sir, as you are aware we were hosting the latest round of peace talks between the Minmatar and the Amarr at the time. We believe Tibus Heth was getting worried that peace could form between the Amarrians and the Matari. Peace between those two empires would not be good for the Caldari. They could expect little or no assistance from Amarr, you know what they are like. But for us sir? We are highly confident we'd see thousands of Tribal Liberation Force capsuleers rally to our cause. The Caldari would be swamped with the combined power of the Gallente and Matari militias. So Heth took a black-ops squad, gave them surgery to make them look Amarrian and got them to hijack a Matari ship to deliver the gas. If the mission had succeeded they would have been arguing for years who actually carried out the attack. The Amarrians would blame the Matari as it was a Matari ship. The Matari would blame the Amarrians based on the monks who were passengers on board, and we'd never be able to host another peace conference between the two sides again after the public outrage over two hundred thousand Gallente deaths."

"And this whole elaborate plan that could have killed hundreds of thousands was foiled by a teenage Matari haulers daughter who thinks she's some sort of freedom fighter?" the Admiral scoffed.

"Yes sir. Another twist to the story which makes it even more unbelievable. Can you imagine taking this to CONCORD, they'd laugh at us."

The Admiral stood and looked out of the window up at the night sky.


"I understand the hauler and his family have been rewarded sufficiently by both us and the Matari Republic to keep them quiet? We don't want rumours causing trouble even if they are true. So, same as always I guess. Seal the files and chalk this up to another one that could have gone monumentally tits up, but didn't due to simple blind luck." the Admiral turned to his desk and produced a bottle of brandy. He poured two glasses and passed one to the spook.

"Yes sir. The hauler is happy with his reward and is aware of the potential consequences should this leak to the press."

The Admiral nodded and raised his glass.

"To blind luck!" he toasted.

-o0o-

Krar flicked through the pre-flight checks. He'd had to learn some basic Gallente to read the console but it had been fairly easy. There were a few scraps of paper stuck around the console with duct-tape giving translations of the various controls in his Matari tongue. It was made easier that this ship was almost fully automated. He looked behind as he heard the hatch slide open. His wife stepped into the spacious cockpit wearing a large, heavy bath-robe.

"All ready hunny?" she asked.

"Yeah. Cargo is loaded and everything is green. Makes a change not having half a dozen warning lights flashing every time you switch to internal power. Undocking permission is coming through now."

The Iterion V was generally regarded as the best hauler in the cluster providing you weren't planning on going into low-security space. The huge ship slowly moved away from the docking bay, held steady by the stations powerful tractor beams.

Adwin stood behind her husband who was sat in the pilots seat as the ship slowly spun and the massive dock doors gave way to open space. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Autopilot?" she whispered coyly into his ear.

Krar laughed. Her use of the phrase of ‘autopilot’ had become a running joke in the last few weeks.

"You know, I'm not sure that the Gallente Federation and the Minmatar Republic realized what the side-effect of the reward would be for me. Between a ship that almost flies itself and getting Inga automatically into a top university, they have also ensured that my love life has improved drastically!

His wife laughed and turned towards the door.

"Well as you said, the ship flies itself and our daughter is away for the entire next semester happily learning about boring tribal history!" she slipped off her robe and let it fall to the floor before turning back to her husband "So if you are not too busy.... I'm going back to our bunk"


As she turned and walked out of the cockpit she heard the computers voice and smiled, the outfit she had put on specially was obviously enough to do the trick.

"Autopilot activated".

-o0o-

Tens of light-years away their daughter Inga was sat at a desk. The small classroom only had two other pupils, both teenage Matari girls. A man entered and the three girls stood to attention.

"At ease! Please sit." he instructed in a commanding voice and the lights dimmed. On the big screen at the back of the room the body of a man was diagrammatically annotated.

"There are hundreds of ways to kill your enemy……. I am here to show you the best ones."

Inga smiled and listened whilst making notes. Whilst publicly her career was to be as a historian allowing her to travel freely around the cluster, her real ‘career’ would be a lot more bloody, and involve a lot of dead Amarrians.


The End?

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

There is No Such Thing As Bad Publicity?

So the epic battle in Fountain has reached the mainstream media. The story was even on the front page of the BBC News website!

So, all good for Eve right? Well........

A few things struck me. The first is the real-world monetary value of destruction running into the tens of thousands of US dollars. Is that going to attract players or put them off? Now I understand how and why this is done. You can buy plex with real cash, that plex has an ISK value in game so its fairly easy to make a comparison. But the thing is I would expect the vast majority of ISK in game was not generated by PLEX sales, it was from missions, rat bounties and the like. However, if the BBC said so many billion of in game currency was lost where is the story? Most people wouldn't bat an eyelid over billions of virtual credits being lost. It simply would not be mainstream 'news'. But if you say it was $20,000, then there is interest.


Now I wonder how many people who are gamers and never tried Eve saw one of the news stories and decided to give it a try. Did any of these stories reach out to people or put them off by the use of real world money? Is there a danger that that many people thought the game is pay-to-play or worse, play-to-win?

The BBC News story said there were just over 4000 players taking part and £10,000 was destroyed. That sounds a lot of cash doesn't it. One afternoon battle and players 'lost' £10,000! I have a feeling that could put people off. However, when you look at it, it is not that bad. On average it is less than £2.50 each. Plus how many of them 'bought' the ISK with PLEX and how many made it in game?

Now the second point is, are these stories 'bigging' Eve up too much? Inflating expectations to a level where new players will be very disappointed. How often are fights like that occurring? We've had two this year with Asakai being the obvious other one. With 500,000 accounts (remember that isn't subscribers) only relative few get to join in on these. They are not common place.

Then there is the battle itself. I wasn't there, but at max TiDi I can imagine. In the past I've been in 500-a-side BS battles in Sov Holding Null Sec. Lock the broadcasted primary, press F1, wait, repeat. Then the whole overview turns flashy yellow. You broadcast for reps as you know you've just been called secondary or tertiary. The overview goes red and you are in your pod as no amount of logistics are going to save you from a volley from 500 battleships! Now add to that "fun", that time is running at a tenth of normal speed. What was already a fairly boring fight for the rank and file just became ten times more boring as you can go for a bio during the time it takes just to lock a ship! Is that battle representative of day-to-day Eve Online?


I've done a lot in my five years in Eve and, for me, faction war PvP is by far the best. Its incredible fun, easy to get into (when you have the skill points) and you get a real sense of achievement from a kill. But, it will never make mainstream news. Why would it? Is it any more news worthy than a WoW guild completing a raid? In the eyes of the media what I'm having for lunch is probably more interesting than a good 1v1 I had last night. That applies to the ratters, the industrialists, the mission farmers, the explorers and the other 98% of Eve which isn't a slow-motion epic sized battle.

How can we show Eve to none Eve players in the best light possible when Eve itself is not a single game? Do any trailers do it justice?


Yeah, not going to happen. Little Wolf boy would be accused of being a spai!


Yeah, not going to happen. All that DPS, plus drones, would have melted that interceptor. What would have happened is that they'd have docked up and blue-balled the enemy fleet.


Yes, exploration is really that interesting o.0

If I was asked to make something to promote Eve Online to people who had never tried it, I wouldn't know where to begin. I'm not sure you can explain Eve Online easily, which just leaves us at the mercy of "This much real life money was destroyed in a virtual game!" of the mainstream media.

-o0o-

Finally I posted it was Drackarn's 5th Eve birthday on Sunday. I invited readers to suggest what they would get him as a present if Eve was real. Had a good laugh/smile at pretty much all of them. To be honest I was expecting stocking clad ladies of the night, card games and booze in a Bender from Futurama style. he creativity of the Eve-O community never ceases to amaze me.

Lexx's suggestion of the mini-pod for my kitteh was a very good one. Shahai offers violent PvP, always a great gift. Kirith offers booze, a personal favourite ;) The various ship ideas made me laugh. CID, I have a decent microphone, a SteelSeries Siberia V2 headset less than a month old, its my bandwidth that turns me into a chipmunk on TS. If only we could have destroyer mounted infina-points for those farmers! The cockbag Thrasher alarm-clock firing streamers would be epic as would be the indestructible pod. Cannot list them all but each and everyone was a great suggestion. But the one that really struck a cord was actually a sensible suggestion......

If Eve was real and my character was friends with your character I would get you for your 5th birthday a plaque with a piece salvaged from the very first ship you exploded. It would be engraved with it all started here.

I looked back on Eve Kill to see what it was, as I do not remember....

Back in January 2009, in the system of Fliet, my Blackbird died (as usually (read always) happened in my first few months of PvP) but this Caldari Militia Harpy died too! My very first kill.

Erm....... you didn't leave your name. Now I'm going to have a dozen people claiming it like that Monty Python movie scene.

I'M BRIAN AND SO IS MY WIFE.

Actually thinking about Brian....


Monday, July 29, 2013

Happy 5th Birthday to Drackarn

Just over five years ago I upgraded my computer at the time. I wanted to get a new game to try it out. It was a brand new gaming PC I'd spec'd myself so wanted to try it out with something new.

It was at this point I finally downloaded Eve Online.


I say finally, I'd read about Eve before in gaming magazines and being a fan of Elite, Wing Commander, Privateer, Homeworld etc it sounded like a great concept. But one thing always put me off. At the end of almost each and every review I'd see the same line. This was roughly along the lines of.....

".....as skill points are learnt at a set rate in real-time and as there is no grinding and no gaining of XP, those new players joining now will never catch up to those who started one, two or five years ago."

You will never catch up! Those five words always put me off. I'd started MMOG's in the 90's with Everquest. Then moved onto Star Wars Galaxies. Yes I'm afraid, WoW was in there, as were Warhammer Online and Age of Conan. So the thought that I'd never catch up in terms of 'levels' to older players really put me off. I was thinking in terms of most normal MMOG's. You need to level up to max so you can join the raid groups as that is the 'end game'. Just imagine explaining this to your average WoW player......

Any toon you start now will never reach the same level as those already playing.

Most will question what is the point of playing such a game.


Anyway, I thought I'd just give it a try as it was free and would be something different to try on my new shiny PC. I guess at the time I fancied a bit of sci fi too. So I downloaded the game, created a character and jumped straight in.

Like most people at the time I started with the tutorial, got a short way through and then stopped it as I was bored and went off and did my own thing!

I started flying Caldari frigates. Then I was really excited to get into a Cormorant. Next up was the Caracal! I thought I was uber then with my missile spitting bird of prey type ship. A few months in and I was still going strong solo.

After a chat with a old mate who I discovered also played, I joined my first player corp and was given a Drake by some rather generous chap in corp. Soon I was carebearing in Ravens. Slowly Revelation Space Corp turned me from a carebear to a "one weekend per month" werebear when we joined faction war for two or three days a month.

Then in 2009 -RS- merged into Shadows of the Federation and I went full time PvP. After a few months I was made a Director. CCP fixed the standings hit bug for repping a pirate when in militia and then we started to shooting everyone. I was soon pushing -10. We tried some NPC Null-Sec holidays and bashed the bears that inhabit that space. We got invited to join a bloc in null sec sov holding, we built a station, went ratting, pressed F1 in massive 500-a-side BS blobs that needed no skill and got bored.


By 2012 SoTF was becoming "l33t". Stargates were an inconvenience compared to Titan bridging. Stand corp fittings ran in the billions of ISK. Small mistakes caused raged.

During that summer I moved to QCats and back to informal fun PvP. And here I am.

5 years of playing Eve.
97m skill points.
4164 important internet spaceships killed
467 important internet spaceships lost
Over 500 billion in ISK assploded
Made a lot of good friends.

So if you got here by searching "Is it too late to start playing Eve?" or "Can a new player ever compete in Eve Online?" then the answer is yes. It can be a hard game to get into, but the rewards are worth it.

Whilst it is usual to receive presents on a birthday, I'm actually going to give one away. Post below what your character would give my character as a birthday present if Eve was real and we were friends. It can be in-game items but where is the fun in that? Think out the box, and the best theoretical present can have a T2 rigged Cynabal cruiser fully fitted and armed. I've had it ages gathering dust in my hanger and TBH I'm too scared to fly it myself! Expensive ship + poor, drunk piloting don't mix!


So just post a comment below, something similar to "If Eve was real and my character was friends with your character I would get you for your 5th birthday a......". I'll choose my favourite just before Wednesdays usual post which will be around noon Eve time. Remember, in-game items are unlikely to win. Think out of the box! If you were an immortal with enormous wealth and power, what would you buy as a birthday present for someone?

P.S. Oh yes, and winner collects the Lorenabal..... from Nisuwa!

P.P.S. I get a lot of spam on this blog from Eve Online ISK to webcam 'performers' so I moderate as I hate captcha. There can be 8-10 hour delays in your comments appearing if I'm asleep.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Jacked - Part 2

Fiction Friday! Escape pod if you're not into that is here to a competition from the The Angle Project with some nice prizes to be won..... if you are a newb (aka less than one year old). As I turn five on the 29th, I am excluded. Boo! Ageism! ;)

This is part two of the three 'parter' of Jacked. Part 1 is here.


Jacked - Part 2

Slowly Krar started to come around. He could hear muffled voices and his head hurt. A slap to his face brought him round fully. The 'monks' were clearly Amarrian soldiers. Their robes lay discarded on the floor and they stood in light armour battle uniforms. He was still in the passenger quarters, they hadn't moved him whilst he'd been out, and one of them was missing. A bald-headed man, who he assumed was the leader, turned to him.

"Look, we've not got much time so I'll make this simple. We are currently taking care of that battleship stuck to the outside of your ship. Once that is done we need you to continue on course and get us to the destination station on time."

Krar rubbed his head where he had been struck. He knew they were in trouble. These men had just murdered three Gallente customs officers in cold blood. They surely would kill any witnesses which included him and his family.

"Why the frack should I?" he growled still thinking of a way out.

The soldier who had spoken to him squatted down on his haunches to face Krar who was now slumped against the wall.

"Because me and my men have been posing as monks for six weeks. If you don't help us we're going to very violently break our vow of celibacy on your wife and that hot little daughter of yours!"

Krar slowly nodded. He needed to play along until he could work out what to do.

-o0o-

On-board the Gallente customs ship the bridge was quiet. They were waiting confirmation although they didn't expect to get it. They had sketchy reports of the weapons scanners being tampered with on the nearby station. It was likely someone was smuggling something deadly. However, this tramp industrial had been apparently chartered by the Quaffe Corporation. It was unlikely the suspect. However, three officers had gone on board to check as the orders where to investigate all ships leaving the system.


"Sir, I'm getting some strange internal readings, from our own inernal sensor arrays."

The captain in the command chair spun around to the ensign who was in charge of monitoring the ships internal systems.

"Explain Ensign."

"Well I'm getting minor alarms and warnings on systems that should be manned. But I'm not reading anyone stationed at the critical consoles. In fact I think the scanners are malfunctioning. I'm not getting any crew life-signals on decks 11 to 34. I thought it must be an error, but I'm not able to raise anyone on the comms."

"Nonsense!" declared the captain "23 decks of my crew would not simply abandon their posts! Rescan!"

"I have sir, now I'm not getting anything on 35 to 41 either."

The Captain tapped a button on his comm panel. There was no response.

"Ensign Rimmah. Put the security camera from the mess hall on the main viewer."

There were gasps of horror as the view of deep space was replaced by the mess hall. Twenty or so crew were slumped over the tables or laying on the floor.

"Give me corridor cameras on 41." the captain said urgently.

"Which one sir?"

"ANY!" the captain snapped.

The view screen swapped to the view of a corridor. Two people lay prone on the floor.

"45! Show deck 45!" he ordered with urgency in his voice.

The view switched again. An officer was walking down the corridor towards the camera with a datapad in his hand. He stopped and rubbed his throat looking concerned. Then he staggered and started gasping for air. Large sores appeared on his exposed skin of his face and hands. He started to bleed from his eyes and mouth which was still wide open gasping for air. The sores opened and started leaking yellow pus and blood. The officer collapsed face down on the deck and convulsed for a few seconds before going still.

"Shut down the ventilation system!" the captain screamed as he turned to the officer below him manning the life support station.

She slowly looked up at him in terror.


Her face was already erupting in sores. She clutched her neck unable to breath. Then the captain on his elevated platform felt a spasm in his back. He then knew all was lost. 10 seconds later everyone one on the bridge was dead, as was everyone else on the ship.

-o0o-

Krar was sat in the pilot’s seat in the cockpit. His wife was sat opposite. The two Amarrians stood waiting. The hatch opened and a third walked in.

"All done?" asked the leader.

"Yes. I seriously do not recommend visiting that battleship. Everyone on board caught a nasty case of death." he chuckled. "Gas works fine. 100% mortality rate." he looked around "Where is Four?"

"He went to get the daughter. He should have been back by now." replied the leader with some concern in his voice.

A second later the hatch to the cockpit opened again and the daughter flew in and fell to the ground. An Amarrian solder stomped in after her with his hand to his cheek. On seeing this her father rose angrily from his seat but the barrel of a gun in his face promptly made his sit back down. The guard who had thrown the daughter into the cockpit removed his hand to show a row of three bleeding gashes on his cheek. The others laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, fracking funny. But she's a wildcat. Watch her, she'll claw your eyes out if you give her chance."

"You have no idea!" the daughter spat from where she had propped herself on the floor "Want round two pussie? I'll kick your ass again whilst your friends are watching!".

The other soldiers laughed but the one with the clawed face just scowled.

The leader stepped forward and picked the daughter up by the hair. Krar leapt from his seat but was punched back to a sat position by a soldier. The leader dumped the daughter in a chair next to her mother. The leader pulled up a chair and sat down opposite Krar.

"Look, this doesn't have to be difficult. All we need you to do is complete your run. Travel to the station. Dock. Pretend all is OK. Let them unload your cargo and head back here. We'll have a ship meet us and we'll transfer off and you can go on your merry way."

The husband was getting his breath back.

"That simple eh. And you'll let us go?"

"Yes."

"But we know you have shot dead three customs officers and sounds like you gassed a few thousand more."

"Yes. Not an issue as far as I can see. In fact we want you alive ideally."

"And if I say no?"

"Your wife and daughter will regret that you did."


The leader let the words hang ominously in the air before turning to two of his men.

"Two and Three. Take the women back down to their quarters and stay with them. Do not harm them, yet. I'll let you know if the good captain here does not co-operate."

-o0o-

The daughter stumbled into her quarters from the hefty push the Amarrian gave her. He took a step inside and looked around. The girls quarters looked like something from a Matari museum. The walls were decorated with tribal art, the furniture was a mix of standard fittings and wood which was highly unusual to find on a ship. He closed the door and leant back against it as the girl flopped onto her bed.

The soldier crossed his arms, the three scratches in his cheek still glowed red.

"I'd offer you a drink." sneered the girl "But my mouth is a bit dry and I'm not sure I could get enough spit to do it justice."

The soldier just stood there.

"Wow you are a real stiff" she said rising to face him. "You going to play statues for the entire trip?"

The soldier didn't blink. He just stared at her.

"Oh the strong silent type eh? You are pathetic. Even your commander thinks so. Look at the job he gave you, guard the little girl! He must think you are one of his crack troops."

Still no reaction.

"Ah! I've got it. No, its because he can trust you right. Girls not your thing? You prefer boys?"

A reaction. A subtle glint in the eyes. Anger?

"Oh I seeeeee! So if I do this....." Inga pulled her top over her head and stood there in her bra "......I still get no reaction?"

Although he tried his hardest to hide it, the daughter knew he was getting mad. She casually kicked her shoes off and slowly unfastened her jeans before slipping out of them. She stood against the back wall in just her underwear.


"That's why he chose you. I can do this..." she squeezed her breasts together "... and you don't care!"

She turned around and bent over slightly placing her palms against the wall. She shrugged out of her bra and looked coyly over her shoulder. "Now is this better?" she asked as she wiggled her ass.


"If you want I could put on one of my dads zero-G football jerseys, and I could wear a cap to hide the hair. We could pretend I'm a boy. You'd like that wouldn't you. Pretend I'm a pretty boy with a soft ass and you'll...."

The soldier finally lost it and charged at her. His face was twisted in a look that was somewhere between lust and rage. The girl span round to meet him as he charged into her pinning her against the wall. She jumped slightly as they connected, her legs wrapping around his waist as he grabbed her wrists pinning her against the wall. Several thick canvas paintings rattled as he held his face an inch from hers breathing heavily.

Inga smiled and rubbed herself against him, her legs wrapped tightly around him.

"See! I don't feel a thing! Nothing's happening down there! You've got a hot girl rubbing herself on you and there is less life down there than on a class 6 plasma planet. You sure you don't want me dress up like a boy?"

The soldier grabbed her shoulders and backed away from the wall before throwing her backwards. She slammed against the wall and giggled.

"I'm going to fracking ruin you! When I'm finished with you no man will ever want you." he snarled as he removed his uniform. The garments dropped to the floor with a slight thud due to the lightweight armour plates that covered vital areas. He stood there in his underwear, a significant bulge straining against the material.

"Now you are going to feel something bitch. I'm going to split you in half and I'll fracking enjoy your screams." he leared as he grabbed himself.

Inga looked afraid as he advanced quickly. Her arms were still outstretched against the wall. He ran at her. As he collided with her she pulled her right arm in quickly against her body. There was a flash of something, he saw it at the last moment. His mouth opened wide in a silent scream. His eyes wide in shock. He staggered back two steps and looked down. In the centre of his chest an ancient knife hilt protruded. He looked back up at the girl in disbelief. The fear he had seen for a second before was nowhere to be seen. A ruse. A deception.

"My father doesn't like me having weapons. So I have to hide my antique Matari knives behind these paintings so he doesn't find them. I keep them sharp, but I guess you can tell that. Obviously they are not sharp enough to penetrate modern armour, but if the idiot I want to kill strips off for me they work fine."

The soldier grabbed the hilt and pulled it free. A arc of crimson blood shot from the wound.

"As I said, idiot. Last thing you do if something penetrates your chest is pull it out!"

The soldier fell backwards. His life blood pumped from the wound between his fingers that tried in vain to stem the flow. His head lolled to the side. The daughter crouched over and looked into his eyes. He stared back for a few seconds before dying.

-o0o-

Krar was sat at the flight controls pondering how to get out of this mess when the master alarm went off. The constant drone of the engines vanished and the view out of the cockpit windows showed the ship was drifting.

"What did you do?" the leader of the soldiers snarled.

Krar was back at the controls "Nothing. Something’s wrong. I don't know I'm trying to find out."

"If this is intentional, if you have sabotaged this ship I'll make sure your daughter and wife are screaming for the next two days! Four! Take a look."

One of the other soldiers pushed the husband out of the way and studied the console.

"Its a mechanical breakdown sir. The secondary cooling system is jammed. The engines have shut-down automatically. The captain couldn't have done it from here. We'll need to repair it before we can get under way again."

"Take him down to the engine room and get it fixed now. We are behind schedule already."

-o0o-

Krar opened the access panel and isolated the section of the engine where the fault had developed. Breakdowns were hardly unknown on his ship. It was Matari after all. But whilst it wasn't unusual for things to breakdown, he'd never had problems with the secondary cooling systems. He walked over to the faulty machinery and opened the access hatch. He stuck his head in and could smell burning. He looked back and saw the soldier leaning against the wall disinterested. Krar worked his shoulders into the cramped access space and removed a second cover that accessed the pump mechanisms. Some material was jamming the rotary mechanism. He started to pull it clear. It was some sort of black material. Lace! Krar was puzzled. What was a strange black lace material doing in the secondary cooling system? He recovered more material and a pair of straps. It was a bra! Too small to be his wife’s and there was only one way it could have got into this sealed section. He smiled. She was loose.


A armoured boot kicked his foot.

"Come on. We've not got forever."

Krar pulled his torso out of the tight access and looked at the soldier.

"Look, do you want to crawl in there? Its a mess and its going to take a good twenty minutes for me to fix the malfunction. Now are you going to leave me to fix it or do I have to tell your boss its taking so long as a certain asshat is stopping me from working every other minute?"

The soldier looked down at him.

"Just fix the problem."

He crawled back to work with a smile on his face.

...to conclude next week...