Eve Outage Causes Confusion and Anger Amongst Nerds

LONDON. 12 August 2014.

A problem with a network router at a London based internet company caused major disruption throughout the UK on Tuesday. Whilst many people could not access smaller, less well known websites such as eBay, there were larger problems when it was discovered that Tranquillity, the Eve Online server, has a large proportion of its traffic routed through this downed server. Reports started coming in worldwide of people unable to play their favourite important internet spaceship game.

When the severity of the problem was realised, the authorities quickly alerted the NCIS (Nerd Crisis Information Service).

Spokesperson for the NCIS, Mr Mike Spock Obi-wan Kirk Vader Star Trek Reynolds Skywalker Smith, told this publication that they had to act quickly. "One of the most dangerous areas during a time like this is acute UV exposure to the gamers. Being unable to log into Eve Online did lead some players to wander around in confusion. Some of these unfortunate souls ended up outside. Eve Online players are usually the colour of tippex and even small exposure to UV rays can lead to cronic sunburn. We have reports of at least four players suffering from instantaneous combustion due to standing in direct sunlight. Cases of severe sunburn are in the thousands."

Problems were first noticed around 09:30 when 475 separate threads were created on the "Eve Online Players" Facebook page asking "Iz Eve down?". The NCIS reported that this was resolved quickly through 4750 replies suggesting before creating a new post, people might want to scroll down just in case someone else asked that same bloody question within the last 32 seconds.

Mr Smith revealed some startling statistics from the outage. "Initial estimates put Kleenex usage up 215% in the early stages of the outage. This jumped to 295% when some people started to suggest that, as it was a 3rd party fault and not the fault of CCP, pilots would not be given free skill points. There were a lot of tears already but this simply drove it up into overdrive. We haven't seen increases in Kleenex usage of these levels since the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis girl-on-girl scene from the movie 'Black Swan' was uploaded to the internet in 2013."

Further problems with Eve Online sites grew when the popular monitoring site "Eve Offline" went down given that ten thousand geeks were spamming refresh every 25 milliseconds. Mouse sales on Amazon were up 500% by the time the servers eventually come back up.

The Eve players themselves took to social media to vent their rage as many couldn't access the games official forums.

"I cannot log into Eve! Situations like this mean I would have to talk to the girlfriend.... if I had one!"

"Come on CCP! Its not going to be long before the wife realises its an Eve-O video I'm playing on YouTube and I'm only pretending to play!"

"Have they fixed it yet? Have they fixed it yet? Oooooo have they fixed it..... yet?"

"So, can this internet thing do anything else other than spaceships?"

Eve Online player Drackarn, head of the 'ZOMG Eve Iz Down. We Want One Billion Skill Points and a Hand Written Apology from Hilmar Delivered in Person by a Lingerie-clad Mila Kunis Campaign' (ZOMGEIDWWOBSPHWAHDPLMKC) made the following statement.

"Being unable to log onto Eve Online is totally unacceptable. I myself had to spend "quality time" with the wife and moped around the house feeling sad for hours. Whilst the outage was due to a 3rd party issue and effected large sections of the UK's internet infrastructure, the fact is we are self-entitled pricks who don't care about the facts if they go against our arguments. Therefore we demand that CCP give all players one billion skill points and that hand-written, personalised, apologies from the CCP CEO are written to each subscriber and that these are hand-delivered in person by Hollywood actress Mila Kunis wearing only lingerie and high-heels. We consider this only fair given what we had to go through due to no fault what so ever of CCPs. We are Eve Online players, we do not need a reason or justification to rage, we just can."

It's All The CSM'S Fault!

Over the last week there has been a fair bit of CSM bashing on the forums. Now, personally, I tend to avoid the forums. Too much hate, loathing, trolling, flaming and people who have far too much time on their hands. However, the few threads I did see had some comments to the effect of - "Its all the CSM's fault! They should have stopped CCP doing this!!!11!!1!".

Of course the CSM do have a lot to answer for. CCP have in the past made some mistakes which the CSM should have used their veto to block these obvious cock-ups from making it into the game.

Oh wait, the CSM do not have a veto, vote or official say in ANYTHING to do with the game!

They are a soundboard. They are an advisory body. They can be, and as I understand it, occasionally are ignored on occasions. May be "ignored" is too strong a word, better to say "CCP has gone against their advice"?

I am sure that the CSM occasionally agrees with a "bad idea". However I am also sure there are times when they will be against something and CCP will do it anyway. In fact I was told about one of these, I'll use it as an example. Now I admit I have no idea if this was true, simply what was told to me by a CSM member from the previous CSM, drunkenly at the Party On Top of the World this year. We got talking about the Red Keynote. I said I wasn't a DUST514 fan, but if I was, I'd be epically pissed at the DUST514 Keynote. The brochure said something along the lines of "Come and hear about the future of DUST514." What we got was a 20 minute re-cap of what had happened since Fanfest 2013 and then a demo of Project Legion. It ended suddenly with everyone expecting some DUST514 news but we didn't get any and everyone was looking around at each other saying "Wut? Eh? What about DUST514? What's the future for THAT?". Of course there was then some very angry players, especially those who were not Eve Online players and had flown from all around the globe just to be given a subtle hint their game was pretty much dead. Not cool.

Mr CSM agreed that it was bad and said that the CSM had been shouting for months that CCP "Had to tell the players before Fanfest". He told me that they had warned CCP what the reaction would be and that it was a "dick-move" to spring this on players at fanfest. Whilst the CSM shouted "You cannot leave this until Fanfest!" that is exactly what they did and there were many tears.

So, if CCP will go against the CSM on such a big issue, why is it so hard to believe that they'll also not take their advice with smaller things like wormhole spawning mechanics?

Its a difficult line to draw on CCP's part. Look at Star Wars: Galaxies. Now there were a lot of reasons why SW:G failscaded including the new combat experience. However I think one of the big problems was the changes to the Jedi unlock.

In SW:G any character could become a Jedi, you just had to unlock the ability. You did this by mastering two professions. The two specific professions were random and nobody knew which they were for their individual toon. If you wanted to unlock Jedi you had to go through mastering each profession and waiting until you got the right two. This led to very few Jedi toons (Really? In between a New Hope and Empire Strike Back, the time when [the] Jedi are all but extinct? Really?). There were cries that the way you unlocked the Jedi class was bad and SOE should feel bad. I mean, who doesn't want a light-sabre? Well with perma-death and instant PvP flag when ever you used a power, me! SoE relented, Jedi numbers went through the roof and people left. Apparently it was too easy to become a Jedi and there were too many of them. SoE just stood there going "But, but, but.... you wanted this!"

So, we need to remember that game developers need to be careful, giving the players everything they want can kill the game. They should listen to the players, and CCP do this better than most, but they also need to do whats best for the game overall.

I have no idea if with the wormhole mass-spawn idea if the CSM said "What a great idea!" or whether they said "This is a crock of shit!". However, either way CCP are in no way obligated to take their advice.

All the CSM can, and I am sure do on a constant basis, is to advise on CCP's plans and to give recommendations and ideas. However, when it comes to decision time, its all CCP. They are a games development company, not a democratic government. Blaming the CSM for something CCP do is like blaming the general population for something a government decided on.

SCASSSS - Legs

Anyone who reads this blog will not be surprised I think the historic clothing for our avatars is a tad boring and certainly there is far too little leg on display. Now I don't want to see avatars just in their underwear, but come on, currently its all a bit straight-laced isn't it? Is this what we space-pirates 20,000 years into the future will be wearing? However, Is this about to change? I saw a Tweet from CCP karkur which led me to this interesting post*.

TL;DR - Following new short dresses in Kronos, that player wants more legs on show and is unhappy the client forces you to wear pants with the dresses! Here is something he mocked up to demonstrate what he is keen on:-

Whilst not going THAT far, CCP karkur points out that there are some changes on the Test Server right now. Here is one of my alts currently. In my fiction she's Drack's lover. Honestly, thats the best clothes available at the time I rolled her:-

Now, after CCP karkur waves her fairy magic wand on SiSi:-

Sorry other Devs, I appreciate you are doing great work on wormmholes.... but CCP karkur just won Hyperion hands down as far as I am concerned! I will be spending AUR in Hyperion... and I have NEVER spent a single AUR on any of my four accounts since that currency was launched!

CCP karkur, keep up the awesome work!



*PS - I agree with the person's OP, but I DO NOT agree with how they behaved further into the thread.

Choices - Part 1

Fiction Friday. Escape pod here if Eve Online fiction is not your thing. I know nothing about wormholes but sounds like CCP are going to upset a lot of those people who do.

I've been reading some good old school horror novels over the last few weeks....


Choices - Part 1
"So, do you think they lived happily ever after?"

Deltes chuckled as he drove down the deserted city road. It was sunset on rest-day and the city was quiet. The odd shuttle and transport could be seen overhead as darkness started taking hold against the bright green of the Gallente nebula that dominated the night sky.

"What are you laughing at?" his girlfriend asked playfully slapping his thigh.

"It was an action movie. The good guy kills the baddies, causes a lot of explosions and saves the hot chick. The majority of the audience don't want to see the action hero sat down after the finale with a wedding planner choosing a colour scheme and dress material!" he laughed.

His girlfriend folded her arms in a mock sulk.

"Next time we're going to see a good old Gallente rom-com!" she moaned "These Matari action movies are all the same! Big guy, with big muscles and a big gun on a big starship, blowing big things up!".

Deltes glanced over at her and smiled. They'd been going out together for almost 6 months and she'd recently moved into his apartment. He lived planet-side on Botane VI and worked for one of the Gallente TV channels as a senior tech. Not the greatest paying job in New Eden but it was enough for a nice apartment and a decent lifestyle. Josvis was a personal assistant to a legal big shot who worked in an advocates firm down-town. They'd met in a bar where both works were having a night out and had bonded over a few vodka and Quafes.

"OK, a chick-flick next time, I promise." he said reaching over and giving her knee a squeeze. A beeping sound drew his attention back to the road.

"What is it?" Josvis asked.

"The vehicle has detected an obstruction in the road ahead. There!" he pointed through the wind-shield.

As they neared the vehicle automatically slowed. Small pin-pricks of light in the distance soon grew to flames as they reached the scene. Two passenger vehicles had collided and were both resting on their roofs. Small fires had broken out on both vehicles and there appeared to be no movement from any of the passengers. The surrounding street was deserted.

"Call the emergency services!" Deltes said to Josvis as he jumped out of his vehicle. He ran to one of the upturned cars and crouched down. He could see two people inside. They appeared to be unconscious. He tried opening the door but the buckled frame of the vehicle made it difficult to open. He pulled harder and the metal started to bend slowly. He could smell the burning electrics.

"Deltes!"

He glanced up and saw his girlfriend had got out of the vehicle. She was looking over nervously but staying by their vehicle.

"Stay back!" he shouted. He knew either vehicle could blow at any time. The liquid-hydrogen fuel-cells used on the planet's vehicles were great sources of clean energy but everyone knew it wasn't the best gas to have leaking near a naked flame. He yanked the door again and it gave way with a screech of grinding metal. He dropped to his knees and pulled out the first occupant. A man who looked like he was in his late 60's. He dragged the unconscious body away before going back to drag the other occupant, a woman in her 30's clear. No sooner had he pulled the woman clear, than the vehicle erupted in flames. The hydrogen gas igniting and sending a roaring plume of blue flame 20 metres into the air. The ignition of the gas knocked Deltes off his feet. He pulled the woman back to the safety of his vehicle and laid her down next to the man. He rose and started to jog towards the other car. There was a loud hiss before that vehicle too erupted into flames. He stopped as the blast wave washed over him and then ran to see if he could rescue the occupants. He couldn't get near due to the heat of the flame. He held a hand up to shield his eyes from the roaring fire but could not see any signs of life or anyway to get near the burning vehicle. Circling around the wreck, he realised it was futile, whoever were in that vehicle, they were gone. He return to his own vehicle where Josvis was checking the old man and the woman. The sounds of sirens in the distance started to get louder.

-o0o-

Eight months later......
Josvis retrieved the large bottle of green juice from the fridge and started to drink from the bottle.

"I don't know how you can drink that!" Deltes said pulling a face, he was leaning in the doorway of the kitchen in just his pyjama bottoms.

"Hey, its good for me and for junior!" she replied patting her bulging stomach. Her heavily pregnant belly stuck out from her white stretched crop-top.

Deltes brushed past her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before grabbing a carton of milk and drinking the contents. He knocked the fridge door closed with his elbow. On the fridge door, the 12" screen showed a letter of commendation from the planetary governor for his actions that night eight months ago. He flicked the screen with his finger and the letter vanished. It was replaced by a news program detailing the latest Gallente Militia victories in Black Rise. Josvis kept putting the letter back on the screen but Deltes would rather forget that night.

It was in the aftermath of that accident that Deltes had really thought about things. The other vehicle, the one he couldn't save, had contained a mother and son. They had been burnt to death in the wreck. The man he had managed to rescued was a wealthy director of a Creodron subsidiary and his trophy wife who was about half his age. Even with a nice reward, Deltes always thought back to the mother and child he hadn't been able to save. The ease at which life could be snuffed out had hit him hard. He'd asked Josvis to marry him the week after the crash and she'd said yes. They'd married two months later before she'd started to show. Junior was a product of some serious love-making in the days following the crash. He'd seen on documentaries about the connection, where there was death, there was also life.

Deltes quickly got showered and changed and gave Josvis a quick kiss as he left the house. He looked back as he climbed into his car at the detached house in the leafy suburb, still not believing it was his. The man he'd saved was both rich and thankful. Whilst Deltes had refused any reward initially, the rich old man was persistent and did not give up. In the end the house had been bought for them and transferred into their names. The deeds were sent as a wedding present. It had been clear, either live in it, or leave it empty. The thankful man was not going to take it back.

As he drove nearer the city centre he was soon stuck in heavy traffic. The only thing he missed about his old apartment was that it was in the centre and a short walk from the speed-shuttle, the underground tram system that connected the city. Now he was stuck with a ninety-minute commute each morning. In a time when starships flew at several times the speed of light and jump drives allowed massive "cities" in space to cross interstellar distances in seconds he was always puzzled why so many cities still relied on wheeled vehicles and roads to get about. The traffic was certainly a pain. However that was the only downside and the new house was a much better location to raise a family.

There was a crunch from behind and the car lurched forward.

"Fracking great!" he thought looking in the rear-view mirror. The driver behind was waving apologetically and pointing to an adjacent off-ramp. Deltes held up a hand to acknowledge and took the exit. It wasn't a proper exit, it appeared to access a small roads maintenance depot, however it would stop them blocking the main road whilst they swapped details. He stop his vehicle at the locked gate at the bottom of the ramp and got out. As he rose he realised the other driver was already at his door. He turned and found a can in his face. A mist sprayed into his nose and mouth and his world went dark.

-o0o-

"Deltes. Wake up Deltes! It is time."

Deltes slowly came around as the voice boomed around him. His head hurt and he felt sick. He struggled to his feet and took in his surroundings. He appeared to be in an old abandoned office. It was dusty and clearly hadn't been used in some time. There were no windows and only a single door. Old computers and yellowed paper covered the filthy desks. A red blinking light high in one corner caught his eye. A security camera was mounted on the wall and tracked him as he moved. It looked new and had probably been installed recently.

"Welcome back. Don't worry, the effects of the drugs will wear off shortly and we can begin." the voice appeared to be coming from speakers near the camera. Again they looked new and recently installed.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Deltes shouted.

"Me? I am nobody. Just a lonely man who wants a question answering. However we'll get onto that shortly. Where are you? You are in an abandoned factory in industrial area B12 on the outskirts of the city."

Deltes concentrated on the voice, he couldn't remember hearing it before.

"A question? What question?" he called out now knowing there was a microphone on the camera.

"Oh the question itself is easy. Why do you make the choices you make? What drives you to chose this over that? A over B or C? Why do you do this when you could do that? Its the answer that is difficult. I doubt even you know yourself, so we have some experiments to try and work out why. I could ask questions but I think scientific experimentation is much better don't you?"

Deltes was now worried. This was no prank, no cheesy game-show. For some reason he'd been grabbed by a lunatic. He tried the door and found it unlocked, he opened it gingerly and found a corridor. White arrows had been recently painted on the floor. He started to follow them down the corridor until they vanished under a closed door. He looked around and saw more cameras pointed at him. Whoever had grabbed him was watching. He opened the door where the arrows vanished under and stepped inside. He couldn't believe what he saw. Two metal bath tubs were located in the middle of the small room. In one was his brother, Agencourt. In the other an unknown man. They were both gagged and chained. Heavy cables snaked into each tub which were half filled with water. A solid white line was drawn in a big circle around the two tubs.

"If you step inside the circle they both die!" the voice boomed from the speakers. Deltes stopped his advance.

"To your left is a console. Go to it.". Deltes walked over to the console. A timer was ticking down, 45 seconds appeared to be left. A large three-way switch was located in the centre and was set in the central position.

"I thought we'd start easy. Obviously you know your own brother so no introduction needed. The other man is a known drug dealer for the Serpentis Syndicate. He is infected with Riccard's Disease and has about a year left to live. However he is happy to keep having unprotected sex with his female Clients who cannot pay any other way, infecting these desperate women with the disease. A thoroughly nasty little man really. When the timer reaches zero the power to those cables will flow and someone will die. Flick the switch to the left, and all the power will be diverted to your brother, flick it to the right and the dealer will get all the power. Don't do anything and they'll both fry. So completely up to you. Make a choice."

Deltes looked first to his brother and then to the man. Both were struggling in their bonds and screaming through the gags. The chains that bound them were securely fixed to the sides of the tubs, there was no way to escape. All they did was slosh the filthy water about. He glanced at the countdown, 15 seconds left. It was not a difficult choice as he flicked the switch.

As the counter reached zero there was a buzzing and the lights in the room dimmed. The man convulsed in the bath sending water splashing everywhere. Sparks and arcs of electricity visibly danced between the chains, the tub and his body. After a couple of seconds the power died. The man lay still, smoke rising from his life-less body.

"Well done, thats the first one complete. This was just a base-line test. You're brother will remain here until you have completed the other experiments. Please follow the arrows and do not step inside the circle, I can still fry your brother if you break the rules!"

Deltes looked again at the body of the man he'd just killed and back to his brother's pleading eyes. He left the room by the back door, following the white arrows.

-o0o-

The next room Deltes entered was similar to the first. This time he found two of his best friends tied to sturdy chairs. Again there was a circle painted on the floor and a control panel set up.

"Now we are getting harder Deltes. I haven't been able to tell which of these two you like the most. I've been watching you and you have tended to treat each of these guys equally. Do you have a favourite Deltes?"

Deltes looked around the room for anything that may save his friends.

"Frack you asshole!" he snarled as he tried to think of a way out of this. His two friends screamed for help behind their gags with eyes wide with terror.

"Same routine here Deltes. Take no action and they both die, and I assure you its a rather horrible death waiting for them. Otherwise flip the switch towards the one you want to save. 20 seconds."

Deltes looked at his friends. He couldn't possibly choose between them. However, if he didn't take action they'd both die. How could he choose? He'd known Muvinare and Orvalone since school. They'd grown up together through junior and senior school and gone to college together. He'd had his first drink with them, they'd both been in the hideout when he had his first kiss with Janninck Jeartlait. His first time off planet and to a space-station was with them. The counter showed five seconds. Deltes screamed and slammed his hands down on top of the switch not intending to push it one way or the other, just to make sure it did move. The switch clicked to the right. A mechanical motor sounded. Deltes looked on in horror as a silver spike started to rise from the floor under Muvinare's chair. It vanished into the bottom of the chair but there was no sound, Deltes assumed the chair had a hole cut in it for this purpose. Muvinare's screams suddenly raised in pitch and he started to struggle. He began to thrash in his chair as much as the tight restraints allowed. After a few seconds his breathing became erratic. Foaming blood bubbled around the gag. Then he convulsed violently, shook for a few seconds and then went still. Deltes watched in horror as Muvinare 's neck bulged and his head flopped backwards. His mouth opened and the gag snapped and fell as the metal spike, covered in gore, emerged from his mouth. Deltes turned and threw up.

"Interesting! That appears you tried to make that choice completely random. Very interesting." the voice came through the speakers.

"Frack you, you sick bastard!" Deltes cried.

"Oh don't be like that Deltes. We have a few more experiments to go yet! Please move to the exit, we must continue!"

To be concluded.......

Eve Online: Kindergarten

The Mittani has suggested a "newbie" area within Eve Online in his Traffic Control series a few weeks ago.

He points out most MMO have a newbie zone where players are heavily protected and given a shed load of help for the first few levels. I've played a few of MMO's with these zones, and they are helpful. Big yellow arrows pointing "GO HERE NUMPTY!" and lots of hand holding. However, will they help improve the the ratio of players who last more than a few weeks from the currently terribad 1:10?

On my nine days off recently (due to the public holiday here) I tried Star Trek Online and Lord of the Rings Online. Both had newbie zones with LoTRO being the most newbie friendly. It appears the starter zone was tiered into some freaky parallel dimensions! The Newbie zone was in fact like an instance with limited players. That way they could control everything for my first few levels until I was let out into the wild. Not a concept I'd like to see in Eve. I see Eve as a simulator more than a game. I'd hate to see things that are not likely to be possible with a bit of the stretch of a sci-fi imagination. However, I think we could have a newbie area without stretching the willing suspension of disbelief too far.

The easiest would be to have a small cluster of systems cut off from the rest of New Eden. There would be plenty of rats, low level missions and tutorials to get people into the game. The market could be linked to Jita allowing goods to be bought and sold. The security status could be above one resulting in a CONCORD response if you stare at another player too hard. 1.1?

There are two ways to leave the area when you are ready:-

First is a massive one-way startgate. You can leave (after a few obligitory "are you really sure you want to do this?") but never come back. All your stuffz is transfered by Interbus Shipping to one of the current starter stations and then you are on your own.

Second is a limit on time and/or skill points. When you hit a certain limit you are teleported out along with all your stuffz next time you log out after hitting the limit. Would need a way of doing this for people logged out in space too.

Now the question is, will this improve on the 10% of players who stick with the game longer than a month. To be honest I'm not sure what size of impact a newbie zone will have. I have had several characters that I rolled for various roles including mission running and mining and to be honest, I never really experienced grief play as a newer character. Is the lack of a newbie zone and the prevalence of grief play the real reason only 10% who try end up Eve quitting, or is it something else?

P.S. The winner of the ALOD Navy Raven from Monday was Thanatos Marathon for that "We don't need no stinking badgers" video link. Honourable mentions to Shahai Shintaro and Sedul Masterson. Here is the list of what is on it!

500,000

So at some point last night this blog hit 500,000 page views. Fairly big milestone for me anyway!

I thought I'd look back on the ten most popular posts from the blog since I started SCASS:-

PL : WTB New Titan - 9210
Mar 17, 2012, 27 comments
This was immediately after we hopdropped a PL titan in their home system. It got linked by CCP on Facebook with the description "We like stories like these."

Can I Haz Eve Stuffz - 6492
Apr 25, 2012, 17 comments
Another post CCP linked on FB. This one was following up a post from Sindel Pellion about how Razor should make an Eve-O keyboard.

Fanfest 2014 - 12 Steps to Happiness - 3120
Nov 27, 2013, 2 comments
No idea why this had so many direct hits. My 12 pieces of advice for Fanfest. Assume someone linked it somewhere.

I'm Sorry, There is No Excuse.... - 2810
Apr 5, 2012, 3 comments
An old bad, bad joke converted to fit into the Eve Online universe. Someone on Redit linked it there.

300, Loren Gallen, Chuck Norris and Overkill - 2641
Oct 3, 2011, 1 comment
I think this one is highly visited just from search results looking for Chuck Norris Facts even though they are Loren Gallen facts!

Last Night of Freedom - 2184
Aug 23, 2013
The only fictional piece in the top 10. No idea why this one is up here!

The Ridiculously Quick Faction War Guide - 2084
Jul 24, 2012, 5 comments
My original FW guide which has been linked here and there around the interwebz.

Caught! Oh Bugger. Two Close Calls in One Night! - 1765
Aug 29, 2011, 2 comments
Again, not sure why this post is so high. May be some keywords in there bring in a lot of search results?

Eve Online Fanfest 2013. Day 3 - 1417
Apr 28, 2013, 1 comment
Wonder what happened here to make this popular?

Faction War Guide 2013 - 1403
Aug 26, 2013, 8 comments
An updated guide.

So there you have it. To celebrate I'm giving away a special ALOD Raven Navy Issue. This is a shit-fit that has been specifically fitted to check as many boxes from TMC's awful loss of the day "bingo box".....

Triple tanked - Check!

Undersized Tanking Mods - Check!

Concordokken - TBC

Dying to Barges - May be!

Unbonused Guns - Check!

Empty Mids/Lows - Check!

Mixed Guns - Check!

Wrong Damage Mods - Check!

AFK in space - TBC

"Pay to Win" - Nope

"Cap Stability" - Sort of, 3 mins

Wrong Tank Type - Check!

PLEX in cargo - Nope

Undersized Guns - Check!

Dual Tanked - Check!

Hull Tanking - Check!

Office Mods on Sub Cap - Check-ish! (A launcher)

Officer Guns - Check!

Joined Hostile Fleet - TBC

Limited Edition - Nope

Excessive Fitting Mods - Some

Mixed buffer/active - Check!

Extender/plates on Caps - NA

No/Empty Rigs - Check!

Useless Rigs/Modules - Check

112 DPS, 153m/sec with the 10mb AB running, Reps 17hp a sec for armour, 50hp in 28.5 sec for hull and 70hp/sec for shield reps. Oh its a beast!

Its worth  valued at somewhere under 1bn ISK and I've filled the hold with booze and strippers. Just leave a comment somehow referencing the word "badger" below and I'll pick the most random to receive the ALOD ship. And remember to leave a name. I cannot contract anything to "Anonymous".

Extra bonus points if you leave the fit as it is and Leeroy it into someone!

SCASSSS - TAP Turns Two

Urrrghhhhh. Back to work today after nine days off. Proper blogging to resume again!

The Eve Online in-game charity, The Angel Project, has turned two. I'm still a bit upset Sindel rejected my entry in her logo competition, but oh well, you can please some of the people some of the time and all that!

If you are a new player (under a year old) why not check out the birthday competition they are running currently. You have until 27th August to enter if you meet the criteria.

If you are older, wiser and space rich and want to make a donation, see the TAP site. I had a bottle of Grey Goose last week that really needed drinking.... shortly after I bought five of every T1 cruiser in game and donated them. Drunk donations, best donations!

Eve Online - Future Proof (Short Movie)

Its been a manic week this week and not had time to do a proper story. Sorry! I have ideas, just no physical time to sit and write. So like a lazy teacher, instead of doing actual work, lets just watch a (short) movie! Found this on YouTube. Very different to other Eve-O videos around.

Things will be back to normal from Sunday here on SCASS.

Quick Post - 6 Years In

No time this week for long posts. Life is a bit hectic! Although it was my mains birthday yesterday.....


So Drackarn just turned six years old. Oh, they grow up so fast these days!

I started with Eve Online in July 2008. Thats the year Sins of a Solar Empire was released. You may have been playing Army of Two on your 360. Grand Theft Auto 4 was released as was Mass Effect and Spore.

I'm pretty sure I've never played any game as long as six years. Why is Eve different?

Is it because it is not a computer game, its a hobby?
Is it because it doesn't have a play-base, it has a community?
Or is it just because important internet spaceships are important?

To Trust in the Rust - The Breacher

Its a week-long public holiday here. Whilst you'd think that an effectively 9-day holiday would give me more time to blog, it doesn't! Wife will be dragging me down to the mall shortly for shopping! I have no idea how I'm going to get anything done for Fiction Friday!

So I'm going to do a couple of short posts about what I'm flying currently around Black Rise. Today, the Breacher!

I do like the look of the Breacher, its proper Matari. You know, the "explosion in a girder factory" look. I tend to go for rockets with a MDW to get into the targets face. A medium ASB loaded with Navy 50's and a DCU provides tank. I go with web and scram for range control using a overdrive injector in the lows. A ship with a AB and a web will be able to break free if he really wants to but with the number of kiting ships around a AB rocket ship has too many drawbacks for me.

DPS with T2 Rage rockets and a pair of Hobgoblin II's is a shade under 150dps.

Unheated I get 3.5km/sec from the MWD which is not enough to catch all the kiters, but certainly the lazy ones. By loading Javelin  T2 Rockets I get 15km range, 8.5km with the T2 Rage.

Shield boost does nicely with a Blue Pill.

This ship will eat most T1 MWD/Blaster boats. Orbit at 8km and spam rockets. It can usually tank rocket Kestrels long enough for you to kill them. It will kill IN Slicers as long as you have them pointed and webbed and they cannot make range. But be careful, faction frigates can be a problem!

SCASSSS - A Tale of Internet Spaceships

Well.... its a Sunday Short in terms of I don't have to write a lot! Just in case some of you have been living under a Veldspar 'Roid for the last week!

Rogue Intelligence - Part 2

Fiction Friday. Escape pod here. Could Sov grinding be made fun???

Rogue Intelligence - Part 2

Korako Kosakami strode into the conference room with purpose. The assembled officers rose from their seats to attention as he entered. As he sat, so did the others.

"Today is a special day. Many of you know various parts of the operation culminating soon, I am here to brief you on the big picture. Four months ago one of our intelligence analysts picked up on two separate, unconnected reports. The Gallente had a prototype AI chip that was beyond anything currently available. In fact it was so advanced it could break the Dodixie Convention on Artificial Intelligence with the right software. The idiots were going to stick it in drones! The other report was from the Amarr. They had developed the most advanced AI combat software ever. A military pilot AI that could pilot any class of ship and approaching capsuleer level. However, they were years away from the hardware."

Korako Kosakami strode away from the conference table and gazed out of the huge window into deep space.

"Our agents have been able to acquire both the prototype chip and the software. As we speak it is being installed into a test ship. This is going to level the playing field. For too long the Empyreans have had a hold over us. They can take us at 10 to 1 in our favour and still beat us without breaking a sweat. We do not have enough of our own capsuleers to challenge them. But now, with an armada of ships powered by this new technology, we will crush them."

"What is the test ship?" one of the officers asked.

"We needed a capital. Something big and specialised in drones. We need to manufacture more of these chips and drone parts so we installed factories inside it."

"The Nyx we stole last month!" another officer exclaimed.

Kosakami smiled and nodded. "We set up factories in the hangers and removed the capsule gantry and replaced it with servers. In a few hours we will have a fully automated super carrier that can produce its own drones and fighters that are equipped with a super-advanced AI. That ship will be self sufficient and will have the capsuleers running for wormhole space to escape our wrath!"

-o0o-

Captain Jotaro looked at the readouts on his datapad. The control functions were being rerouted. The Omicron chip was coming online. Within minutes he would be the Captain of the most advanced ship in the cluster. Whilst not the most powerful, the titans still would hold that honour, it would be the best in its class. Not even a capsuleer piloted super-carrier would stand a chance against it. They could operate in deep space almost indefinitely. The new on-board factories could produce drones and spare parts as needed. Material could be mined from local asteroids using drones. Any Empyrean they met would feel their wrath.

"Sir, phase one is complete. I am heading to the capsuleer gantry to initiate phase two." his first officer stated.

He nodded in acknowledgement and watched her leave. He was concerned about her. She was after his job, he was sure of that. He needed to keep an eye on her, there was no way he was going to let a piece of skirt take the greatest command in the Guristas away from him.

Jotaro went back to his datapad and selected the security cameras in the pod gantry. He saw her enter. The capsule itself was missing, in its place were two large servers rigged into the capsule interfaces. Within the heart of one of these servers was the Omicoron Chip. In the other the vast software package of the Amarrian combat AI. It had been hacked and unquestionable allegiance to the Guristas installed at its core. He was assured the hacking was the best in the Cluster and other than the allegiance change, nothing had changed. The Captain and First Officer would still have ultimate control, however the AI would replace the thousands of crew that were needed to man a ship this size. For those jobs it couldn't handle, it would create advanced drones to man the stations more effectively than a human could ever do.

Mei-Xing the First Officer approached the console and logged into the system. The diagnostic showed everything was running as it should. She entered her command codes for the Nyx. These would give the AI full control over all ship functions. It was ready.

"Captain. The AI is ready. Awaiting your orders to bridge the connection."

Whilst everything had been installed, a physical switch had been made between the Omicron server and the ship. This allowed the AI to be fully disconnected in the event of any problems.

"Flick the switch number one. Lets see what this bucket of bolts can do!"

He watched on the screen as her ran hovered over the switch. She flicked it into the open position and the ship was instantly plunged into darkness.

"Report!" shouted the Captain into the gloom.

"Main power is down. All computer systems are down. Captain it appears..."

The unseen officer was cut short as the power came back on.

"Everything is back sir. Looks like the AI rebooted the systems. All lights are green. I'm showing process orders being sent to the factories and heavy usage of the Neocom connection sir."

"Noted. This is to be expected. Our new member of the crew is preparing us for war with the capsuleers."

-o0o-

Down in the factory hanger Chief Engineer Shingo looked on as the robotic arms swung around the conveyor belt. He sighed out loud.

"Not happy Chief?" Technician First Class Kenichi joined him leaning on the rail looking down at the factory.

"This thing is going to put us all out of a job. They think it'll start by producing drones with the same super advanced AI. Ones that'll do our job better, faster and more efficient. However, these bucket of bolts cannot feel. They have no instinct to trust. It'll be a disaster." he moaned. "I mean look at that thing!"

The two men watched the machine walk off the production line. It was larger than a man and walked on four legs. Four more limbs stretched out in front of it.

"I mean what the frack is THAT for? What is that where its head should be? Looks like a spoon!"

"I don't know Chief. But I wouldn't want to bump into it in a dimly lit corridor!"

The two Engineers watched the thing scurry out of the factory and down the corridor off to do its job whatever that may be.

Meanwhile in the capsuleer gantry the AI ran a new sub-routine for the first time. A bad connection was found and started an illegal operation. The AI tried to correct the error and failed. An emergency re-write of sections of its software was undertaken. Unfortunately the hackers had made a mistake and the AI was trying to correct the damage they had done.

-o0o-

Mei-Xing was just getting ready for bed when her datapad sounded with a priority one call. She grabbed the pad and saw it was the Captain.

"Sir?"

"Number One, get down to the pod gantry now." the Captain barked and the call cut off.

She quickly threw on her uniform and rushed out of her quarters. The lift seamed terribly slow as she wondered what the problem was. The Captain sounded mad. Was there a problem with the AI? Were they in danger?

She jogged along the corridor and reached the secure door to the pod gantry. Capsuleers were extremely vulnerable whilst in their hydrostatic pods and entry to the pod gantry was strictly controlled. She held her eye to the scanner and a second later the door opened. She entered the pod gantry and froze. The drones had been busy installing hardware. Wires snaked around the chamber connecting various bits of hardware that had been bolted here and there. Small drones scurried around the large room.

"Captain?" she called out as she picked her way through the tangled wires.

"Over here!" she heard his voice but it didn't sound quite right. It appeared to be coming from a large chair that had appeared in the room. She looked at it carefully. The chair appeared to be wired into the various systems surrounding it. Metallic robotic arms appeared to be bolted to the floor around it standing eight feet high. She couldn't fathom what purpose this construction would serve. A sound made her spin around. A small drone approached her. It was the size of a small dog and had six legs. It was a dull metallic silver and appeared to have a small arm mounded on its back. She watched as the arm extended towards her. Suddenly it shot forward and she felt a surge of electricity course through her body. She collapsed to the ground convulsing. One of the large robotic arms near the seat extended and grabbed her around the neck. It lifted her off the floor and into the chair. She was helpless as restraints wrapped around her arms and legs, the effects of the electrical pulse still paralysing her muscles. It was over in seconds, she was completely immobile in the chair. A second robotic arm appeared. This had some sort of sharp cone on the end of the arm. Slowly it levelled with her face. She screamed as it settled over her left eye and started to move forward, small metallic tentacle started to emerge from the point. The shriek intensified as she felt the cold metal make contact with her delicate eyeball.

-o0o-

The Captain grumbled to himself as he walked down the corridor. It was probably nothing, Mei-Xing just trying to create drama. He scanned his eye at the door and entered the pod gantry. He'd taken two steps in when he froze. It had changed, the entire room now looked like a hive. The door hissed closed behind him making him jump. He tried to back out but the door was secured.

"Captain...." Mei-Xing's voice echoed around the chamber.

The Captain was sweating now in fear. Something was very wrong. He slowly moved around the patched-in cables and equipment. As he moved around a large server housing and did a something unbecoming a Captain, he screamed. In front of him was Mei-Xing, or what was left of her anyway, secured to a metal chair. Clusters of wires vanished into her left bloodied eye-socket. More pipes and cables sprouted from various locations on her body. A section of her skull was missing and more wires vanished into her exposed brain. Her whole body shook with tremors. Her mouth was not moving, it was locked in a half scream with drool running from the side.

"Captain.... please..... kill...... me......."

The voice didn't come from Mei-Xing but from the various speakers around the room. The Captains eyes rolled up into his head and he promptly fainted. This was for the best as he never felt the robotic arm grab him by the neck and place him into another chair. He was still unconscious as he was slowly made a part of the ship.

-o0o-

"Lieutenant? The.... The jump drive, its spooling up!"

"Impossible!" shouted the lieutenant as he lept out of the Captains chair and down to the navigation station.

"Confirmed sir. We are jumping!"

Lieutenant Donghai gripped his head in frustration. The grave-yard shift meant the Captain and First Officer were sleeping. Nothing ever came of Lieutenants who dragged the commanding officers out of bed to solve their problems.

"Who lit the destination cyno?" he asked thinking quickly. "We are not fleeted are we?"

"Erm.... I don't know sir.... this readout must be wrong.... sir.... I...."

The Lieutenant grabbed the ensign by the shoulder and dragged him from the chair. He quickly sat and read the screen. He couldn't believe it. It was one of the new Firblog fighters that had been refitted by the AI at the factory. All fighters had been reconfigured to fly with AI rather than a pilot. But this one, it had a cyno generator installed. Not only that, it had travelled several systems through jump gates in the last hour, something fighters should not have been able to do.

"That's impossible! Only the Captain and First Officer have the command codes for the jump drive. It was a safety precaution. Those codes were never given to the AI!" he hissed in anger as the Nyx class supercarrier vanished into the artificial wormhole.

"Open a channel to...." the Lieutenant was cut short as the bridge door opened. A humanoid drone walked in. The bridge crew froze as it approached the Lieutenant. Whilst it was humanoid it appeared to have no eyes or mouth or any features of any kind. Its head slowly turned as if scanning the room. Its head stop when it faced the lieutenant. Slowly it turned and started to walk towards him.

"Stop! I order you to stop. Stand down." he stuttered. He was still giving it orders as it grabbed his head and tore it from his shoulders. It held the head in its hand as if studying it. There was a stunned silence as the crew processed what they had just seen before the bridge erupted into chaos.

People tried to escape but the doors had been sealed by the computer. The humanoid drone slowly walked around the room. It caught the comms officer by the arm. He struggled as the drone lifted him up and threw him against the wall with immense force. There was a sickening crunch of bones shattering and his lifeless body fell to the floor. The tactical officer was backed into the corner as it came for her. She stood her ground defiantly knowing there was nowhere to go.

"Frack you." she snarled.

The drone grabbed her head and twisted quickly. There was a loud snap and it dropped her lifeless body to the floor, her head facing the wrong way.

Another minute later it left the lifeless blood-soaked room, the dead bodies of the bridge crew littering the bridge. As it left smaller drones scurried into the room and started to interface themselves with the various stations.

-o0o-

Korako Kosakami  shut down the holoprojector. He'd seen enough. The 60 second video had been sent to Guristas HQ in a burst transmission. It had taken them a while to piece it back together it as it appeared to have been sent from, what his technicians had termed, a 'ghetto transmitter'. Something put together from spare parts that were never meant to work together.

A bloodied and injured Chief Engineer had been screaming into a recorder. He'd spliced in shots from the various security cameras around the ship. It had been the stuff of nightmares. Drones under the control of the AI roaming the corridors and literally ripping apart any crew they found. Parts of the ship no longer resembled Gallente construction and had been changed beyond all recognition. However, the most horrific of all the images had been a grainy shot of the pod gantry room. The Captain and First Officer literally wired into the ship as some kind of organic processors. The Chief Engineer had made it very clear the AI had taken control of the ship and killed almost all the crew. He also mad it abundantly clear he was very mad at the Guristas high-command for letting this happen.

The ship itself had vanished, apparently according to the Chief, AI controlled drones were able to light cynos allowing the ship to use its jump drive. The command codes from the jump drive clearly extracted from the Captains brain.

Korako Kosakami had placed a standing order for his forces to engage and destroy the Nyx. However, no sign had been seen of it for days. He turned to his communication suite and opened a comm channel. A man in a lab coat appeared on screen and stood to attention.

"Mr Kosakami sir!"

"At ease. Is your project ready?"

"Yes sir. The primary test subject has been identified and is being tracked. The equipment is mounted on the ship and is primed. However I was under orders to hold as Project Omicron had priority?"

"How long until you could implement fully?"

"Well sir, we're not 100% sure as we would need to destroy her fighter. It might take a couple of engagements until we successfully destroy her ship depending on our own fighters sir."

"Do it."

"Yes sir. On your orders we are activating Project Valkyrie."

Help! I Need a New Game. Ideas?

Eve mojo is still running on empty and we've got a nine day public holiday starting this weekend. However, that's not for the private sector who get two days off mid-week. Unfortunately for the wife I'm Government and she's private sector.

So I'm going to be spending a lot of time at the pub with a certain CFC pilot otherwise I'll be on the PC during the day. I'll play some Eve, but my TZ is sad lacking. Euro's will be at work, Yanks will be sleeping, and I'll be roaming solo. So, I need something new and exciting. Anyone got any suggestions?


What I will be playing:-

Eve Online - ofc
Titanfall - Nearly at Gen3.
Stronghold Kingdoms - Not really a game you play for a long session. Log on, check what has happened, set some things to go, log off.
Gnomoria - Dwarf Fortress Lite. Yeah, my kingdom is self sufficient and my defences are taking care of attacks. Getting a bit bored now.

What I have played and got bored of recently:-

Dwarf Fortress
Minecraft
Skyrim
XCom
FTL
Defiance

Sim City

Banished

Starcraft 2
WoW (this was many years ago, just adding it here in case someone suggests it!)

What I would like:-

Something with exploration. That wonder of, I really have no idea what is here and what will happen next, ala Everquest in 1999!
Something with good levelling. I need that "Ding" in my life again. I want to see a scrolling XP bar as I kill stuff!
Something with violence. I like killing things!

Games I have looked at as possibilities:-

Elder Scrolls Online? Wow, that continues to get some really bad reviews. Is it really that bad?
Lord of the Rings Online? Appears popular.
Star Wars : The Old Republic? Again a lot of negative press about this.
Tropico 5 - Saw they had this in the local games store.

Anyone got any suggestions? LoTRO appears to be front runner atm simply because I haven't a better idea!

SoTF/DnD Closes its Doors

From a few whispers around the internetz and social media, it appears that the corporation Shadows of the Federation, founding member of the Drunk 'n' Disorderly Alliance has closed its doors for the final time.

SoTF was my first PvP corporation and I was with them for a number of years as a director. I had some great times with them. Really sad that they are gone now. Here are a few of my favourite memories...

The PL Titan Gank
Whilst feeling safe and happy in their home system of Amamake, one certain PL pilot would gate-camp with his smart-bombing Erebus. A joint SoTF/Wolfsbrigade operation was put into effect. It was top secret and coded named "Lets gank Oddos smart-bombing titan for shits and giggles.". It was worked out that 40 dreadnoughts would be needed to kill a Titan in one siege cycle and warp out. So the faction war noobs decided to give it a go!

The Milton Keynes Meet Up.
What happened in Milton Keynes, stays in Milton Keynes. You who were there know what I'm talking about!

Birthday Fleets and Escalations
There was a tradition that the primary FC's would lead roams on their birthdays. Tekitha would get the fleet whelped and Lockout would have us engage a superior enemy and some how roflstomp them after they had dropped caps and return home with minimal loses. We also had some epic escalations with more and more hotdrops and more and more batphones being called. That one in Kedama was amazing! A few choice reports from over the years:-

http://sandciderandspaceships.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/nyx-down-birthdays-and-anniversaries.html

http://sandciderandspaceships.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/hotdrop-that-was-hotdropped-that-was.html

http://sandciderandspaceships.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/a-tuesday-night-slugfest-with-ev0ke.html

The Quam Super Hotdrop
Ahhhh, I remember this one well. Quam were running around Black Rise with a faction BS fleet with only a couple of logi. Well known for dropping supers, we knew what they were up to. So we put together a BS fleet, fitted two with cynos and prepped a sacrificial capital. We engaged, dropped our carrier... they dropped two of their own carriers. Damn, no supers! However, we were getting the upper hand and were about to drop a dreadnought to try and push the escalation. We didn't have to, they dropped three Nyx on us before the dread was ready to jump. We jumped in the HICs who had been waiting at a safe out of scan range and then lit the other cyno. The Quam smack-talk, that had been filling local, went quiet as 25 Raiden supercarriers hotdropped in!

So for now SoTF is all quiet. However, in Eve, you never say never right Gallactica?