I'm Sorry, There is No Excuse....

 

Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot, was on shore leave with his girl, having a picnic in the countryside.

After some cuddling she says "Pierre! Kiss me!"

So he reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of red wine and pours it on her lips before kissing her.

"Pierre! Why did you do that?"

"Because I am Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot! And when I have red meat I have red wine!"

A bit later things are hotting up. The woman unbuttons her blouse.

"Pierre! Kiss me lower!"

So he reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of white wine and pours it on her chest before kissing her there.

"Pierre! Why did you do that?"

"Because I am Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot! And when I have white meat I have white wine!"

Soon things are really heating up.

"Pierre! Kiss me even lower!"

So he reaches into the picnic basket, pulls out a bottle of brandy, lifts her skirt, splashes it between her legs and throws a lit match down there.

"PIERRE! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" she screamed whilst patting out the flames.

"Because I am Pierre, the Gallente Militia Pilot! And when I go down.......... I go down in flames!"

 

..... I'll get my coat :P