Just before I was due to head to the pub with a member of the CFC to watch the Liverpool game on Saturday, I thought I'd log onto Eve quickly. As the screen loaded I noted that the system was contested. Usually this means someone is plexing right now as there are enough of us to keep the system stable.
Sure enough there was one Frog in local. I opened zKillboard to see what he like to fly. It was not good. I saw red. So much red.
Either this guy was a very bad PvP'r who didn't know when to quit, or was a farmer. I looked at recent loses. I guessed farmer for some reason...
So I opened my hanger and looked for a suitable ship. It needed to have three long points as he'd probably be sat away from the warp in. It needed long range guns for the same reason. It didn't need prop mod as he didn't use them. So I was left with this fit:-
I undocked and scanned through the Plex open. None of his usual ships were showing up. However there was a Quafe skinned Tristan. Would anyone farm in a Quafe Tristan? May be?
Now I was stuck. The Kestrel I was flying would kill a stabbed farmer, but against any PvP ship I'd die horribly and create a cringe-worthy lol-mail. I decided to risk it and warped to the plex. Upon activating the gate I looked for a suitable celestial. If it wasn't the farmer I'd need to GTFO very quickly. Thankfully it was the farmer sat off 20km from the warp in.
Of course like many stabbed farmers he wasn't paying attention. I got point on him and he lazily recalled his drones. Why rush he must have thought? A long point Kestrel is not a problem when you are stabbed. With his drones recalled I'm guessing he hit warp an was soon screaming "Warp off..... warp off? WARP OFF?"
My triple long-point Kestrel had him. Whilst my DPS was poor and had no tank he had already admitted defeat by not launching his drones which would have been an issue. Then again could he even target me back at that range with twin stabs? He just sat there as I killed him. Hoping for the pod express, he left his pod for me to point. As with all stabbed farmers, I only pointed and waited. After a few minutes he realized I wasn't going to kill him and give him a free ride home, I was just holding him to waste his farming time. He activated self-destruct at this point. Being ready for this, I activated my stopwatch which I had ready on my phone.
Just before the two minutes was up, I popped him.
We really need to sort out warp core stabs in low-sec. Add a 80% damage nerf to all damage types to them and problem solved. Industrials and transporting/travel fit won't be affected and stabbed farmers won't be able to kill the rat and farm!