Sunday, November 25, 2012

My Eve Hollywood Blockbuster - BB41

Blog Banter 41: Director's Cut

The universe of EVE is not without its drama and epic stories, both in and out of game. Imagine a publisher, movie studio or television network asked you to prepare a pitch for a new brand of EVE-flavoured entertainment. This could be your big break, what would be your synopsis to deliver New Eden to a wider audience?

A week or so ago I mentioned I was working on a new fictional series which would be the story I would tell if I became a billionaire overnight and financed an Eve Hollywood blockbuster movie. I'm currently on chapter 3 of probably 12 or so. So how would I pitch it if this came true? "Here is $100m cash to start!". To be honest I think someone investing that money would have no problem finding a studio to run with the idea. I don't want to reveal too much of my planned fiction series... but I need to contribute here or I'd lose my crown of geekiest geek of all the banterers!!!!

Well, without giving too much away may be I could do a IMDB style entry. 

Teh Udder Interwebzs Moveee Database (tuIMDB)

Dark Silence (2014) (Still working on a title)
Action - Adventure - Sci-Fi
In the distance future, two people are thrown together during a natural disaster. They flee across the galaxy as a powerful corporation sends a beautiful assassin to silence them before they reveal the dark secrets they have seen.

Director - Joss Whedon
(Who else?)

Writer - Tony Gonzales and...... Who? Seriously, who the feck is Drackarn?
(Would need a professional author to take my poor fiction and turn it into something special, Tony G would be my choice as an experienced Eve-O writer)

Stars - Nathan Fillion, Mila Kunis, Kate Nauta, Malcolm McDowell, Eva Green, Megan Fox and...... CCP's Guard, Soundwave and Punkturis?????


Plot Summary
20,000 years in the future mankind has relocated to a distance part of the galaxy. A freak plasma storm on a terraformed planet hits a major city. A facility owned by a mega-corporation that is developing illegal bio-weapons is hit and containment breached. In an attempt to stop their secret escaping and to prevent the spread of the infected, the city is destroyed. However, two people escape from the facility and the city. A secretary who had no idea of the true nature of the work going on and a shady privateer starship captain who had been contracted to courier cargo to the facility. Before they escaped the planet, they saw the truth about the facility and the terrifying weapon that had been produced. Now they are the hunted. And the corporation will stop at nothing to ensure their secret remains.

Synopsis (Spoilers)
A private starship captain who deals in the darker areas between black and white, accepts a contract to carry some cargo containers to a starport at a major city. Whilst there an unprecedented plasma storm hits and he takes cover in a secret tunnel leading from the remote docking bay. Meanwhile a scientist who cannot bear to leave the secretary he flirts with daily on the surface during the storm, takes her to the hidden underground facility for safety. Not knowing that the subjects of the illegal bio-weapon research that goes on there have escaped. With the doctor killed by one of the staggering infected humans, the secretary is saved by the starship captain and they make it back to the ship and off world before the corporation levels the city, blaming the destruction of the city on the power station was hit by the storm. Now the corporation must hunt down the two survivors, for if it was revealed they were developing bio-weapons based on the forbidden Sansha technology, the four Empires of New Eden would surely rally together and crush them. The two survivors face a frantic chase across the star systems of the New Eden cluster, pursued by a deadly assassin.

(Still deciding on names to some of the parts)

The Captain - Nathan Fillion
I know, I know. This is not Firefly but whenever I think of "private starship captain who deals in the darker areas between black and white", well there is only one isn't there!

The Secretary - Mila Kunis
The classic Hollywood transformation. Scared little secretary on the run, ends up sexy kick ass action star. 

CHIMERA - Kate Nauta
Seen Transporter II? Nuff said. This is the Caldari State version of THANATOS. No idea what I'm talking about? Read Templar One!

Admiral for Mega Corp - Malcom McDowell
Who better to play an older bad guy I ask you?

Nourvukaiken Station Fixer - Eva Green
An old friend of the captains. Helps to get them out of hi-sec and sets up a meeting with the barman in Nisuwa.

Barman in Nisuwa - CCP Guard
Well he has to be in there doesn't he! 

Lexx Jonlan/S810 Jr/Eelis Kiy (not sure who to use yet) - Winona Ryder/Alyson Hannigan/Katee Sackhoff
I envisage a scene in the bar alongside the CCP Guard scene when they are looking for the capsuleer.

Channel 47 News Anchor - CCP Soundwave
Well, who else?

Capsuleer - Robert Downey Jr
Not got that far yet!

Villore Task Force Commander - CCP Punkturis
Don't know why, but I can see her on the bridge of a Nyx looking mean!

You don't buy silence, you kill it.

Motion Pictures Rating
PG-15 for scenes of violence, intense action, mild peril and scenes of a bow-chicka-wow-wow nature

Parents Guide
The assassin is seen making love to a corrupt officer. She is naked and on top but the scene is brief and mostly in shadow.
A woman is seen getting a lap-dance from a female dancer in a bar.
Two women kiss briefly.
There are many dancers in the bar wearing revealing outfits.
Now, should the leads get it on in the movie? Or is that just shoe-horning it into the movie for the sake of titillation?

Violence and Gore
A man is bitten on his shoulder by a "zombie". The wound and a lot of blood is shown. The man is then shot in the head.
A female agent kills a man by breaking his neck with her bare hands.
A female agent kills a room full of people using martial arts and a gun. Some blood and bodies are shown.
A man with his throat slit is shown. The wound is not clear but there is a lot of blood.
A woman dies after slitting her wrists.
A man is seen dead on the floor. There is a lot of blood.
His wife comes home and is stabbed in the throat.
Two men are killed by being stabbed from behind.
I'm sure there are lots and lots more to come.

X number of naughty words suitable for the 15 rating.
I like blog banters, but I'm not counting them all just for this one!

Several bar scenes involving drinking and smoking.
References to a pirate faction that deals in drugs.

Frightening/Intense Scenes
The storm hitting the city is quite intense and a lot of death and destruction is shown.
The scene in the basement of the facility is quiet scary as the infected approach.
More to come, many, many more.

Did You Know?
The bar tender in the Nisuwa Station scene, the news anchor on the TV behind the bar and the female Nyx super-carrier commander of the Villore task force are actually employee's of CCP, the creators of the game Eve Online on which the movie is based.
The line halfway through of "The logs show nothing." is a nod to a common response in the game of Eve Online from the Game Masters to people making support requests when they cannot find any evidence of the persons claims.

I'm sure they would be some!

CHIMERA - "What are you thinking?"
Colonel - "Well, I'm thinking how a young lovely creature like you could end up in my bed."
CHIMERA - "That's an easy question to answer. It's because you've been siphoning off your battalions combat weapons and supplies and selling them to the Sepentis you naughty boy."

Scanner Operator - "They are gone sir. No longer registering in system. Also no corresponding stargate activation!"
Commander - "Impossible! Double check the stargate database entries for the last 10 minutes."
Scanner Operator. "Checking. Confirmed. The logs show nothing sir."

Weapon of Choice - Fat Boy Slim
Loves a Loaded Gun - Alice Cooper
Beneath the Asteroids - John Hallur

People Who Liked This Also Liked...

MOAR! BB41....

Humanity has always dreamed of venturing to the stars by Lukas Rox @ Torchwood Archives
Eve Online for Everyone by Oreamnos Amric @ 2nd Anomaly from the Left
Screenplay by Kirith Kodachi @ Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah
Enter Eve by Sugar Kyle @ Low Sec Lifestyle
Immortalis by Helena Khan @ Aggressive Logistics
My Eve Hollywood Blockbuster by Drackarn @ Sand, Cider and Spaceships
Making the cut with the director by Emergent Patroller
Director's Cut by Rixx Javix @ Eveoganda
Eytjangard Blues by Kuan Yida @ Random Posts from Auga


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you sir. It was a fair bit of work. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to find a picture of CCP Guard looking like a barman and CCP Punkturis looking stern like a supercarrier captain (I gave up in the end). Soundwave was easy tho' ;)

  2. lol awesome job! Sheesh, now the bar is set really, really high.

    1. Thanks. Was actually thinking of you whilst photoshop'in the CCP'rs wondering "Does this take Rixx as along....." :)

    2. Bah! You say that and then do this awesome poster!

  3. Looking Good Drack,

    1. Ta. Looking at working some cats into the later half :)

  4. Beautiful. Extra points for Nathan Fillion and Robert Downey Jr.

    But Megan Fox? Really? I think there should be a part for Noomi Rapace in this so she can make up for playing in that horrible movie Prometheus.

    1. Hey this is my movie! And if I want Miss Filthy-Gorgeous in there for eye-candy then I'll have her :P

  5. I approve and/or endorse this proposal and all who sail in her!

  6. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please can Eelis have lots and lots of sex with Robert Downey Jr.

    1. Two problems. One, he's suppose to be the secretary and two, isn't Eelis supposed to be with Rash? :)

    2. Why am I completely unsurprised at this question? (Also: MORTAL ENEMY! \o/)

  7. You know... I was going to do my own entry for Blog Banter. I think I'm just going to link people to this instead.