Friday, January 1, 2016

A New Home

Happy New Year! I hope 2016 brings you lots of exploding important internet spaceships!

Friday Fiction. Escape pod here if you are not into your Eve-O fiction! Warning... this Eveoganda post starts with a picture of me in real life. May be it would be a good idea to offer a second escape pod. I've lost about 20kg since that photo was taken at Fanfest 2015! Here, Niden made some awesome art with a semi-naked chick!

A New Home

Elelle looked out of the small window into the vast station hanger.

"Looks like he's moving everything below battlecruiser!"

Deget broke off from what he was doing at the terminal and came over to join her. He watched as the frigates, destroyers and cruisers were slowly loaded into the carrier's main hanger bay.

"That'll be why were were told to clear our station quarters and settle our affairs. It would seem time for a new move."

Elelle nodded in agreement as Deget went back to his station. They had joined this capsuleer's crew several years ago when he'd commissioned the Archon class carrier. Their first base was the State Protectorate station in Nisuwa. Whilst he had changed corporations they had continued to base from that station. A year ago he changed again and they had moved here to Hasmijalla. They had dropped into a warzone. The entire system was under siege and it had been a very busy two months. However they had been victorious. After the siege was broken things got very quiet very quickly.

"I wonder where we'll go." Elelle asked.

"High-sec is out. Not only our Egger's 'misunderstanding' with CONCORD, the Federation and the State but the fact he's taking all three carriers so we're jumping somewhere. I'd say null-sec is out as that's not his thing. It'll be low-sec again I'm sure. Possibly Matari militia? May be back to Gallente?"

Elelle span around and smiled. "You think so?"

Deget laughed as she did a little dance.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled.

"The happy dance! Oh to be in a Gallente station again!"

Deget smiled and nodded. He knew what she meant. Caldari stations were sensible, practical, formal. Basically no fun. Gallente knew how to have fun and they practiced what they preached. Here in Hasmijaala they had no real park domes and the bars and nightclubs were subdued and boring. The only one worth going to was the one owned by the Capsuleer they worked for. "The Crunchy Frog" had been bought out by their Captain and turned into a Gallente style bar. However that was on the capsuleer decks and they only got access very, very rarely for special occasions. Normally it was the Caldari crew bars which were utterly depressing.

"All crew! All crew! Now hear this." the XO's voice boomed over the speakers. "We will be undocking in 90 seconds and immediately jumping. All crew to stations and to prepare for jump. Max range."

Elelle and Deget both approached a cabinet in the wall and took a pill from a small bottle, swallowing it immediately. As seasoned capital ship crew they were used to jump travel, however it still affected them. As the XO had said it was a max range jump they prefered to take the jump medication.

"Max range huh? So is this the first jump of several or will we be settling somewhere within five light-years?"

Elelle just shrugged and hoped. Federation space was within one jump. Fliet was her hope as that was a proper Gallente station. She'd heard some wild stories about that place.

They wobbled on their feet as the ship lurched forward leaving the station docking bay. She approached the window, hoping. The Archon class carrier slowly moved into open space from the station. 

They could feel the jump drive spinning up, a subtle vibration could be sensed throughout the massive ship. Then they were jumping. Light distorted. Forks of red plasma lightening engulfed the golden ship. Elelle felt her stomach lurch as they were swallowed by an artificial wormhole.

"Oh, Fuck it!" she sighed despondently.

There had been a massive flash of light and the grey of the Caldari nebula had been replaced with the grey metal of the side of a Caldari station. The XO had just announced that this was their new home.

"Another Caldari station and even worse another damn State Protectorate Station." she cried "Another year or more of Caldari bars and what they pretend are nightclubs! Dull venues with everyone acting like its a school disco. More concerned about social etiquette than having a good time. Why the frack didn't Pandemic Legion drop us as we landed and ended this suffering!"

Deget laughed at her melodramatics.

"Come on, we're docking. Let's get our rooms sorted before the rush!"


"Wait, its called 'The Wrong Ammo'. What a ridiculous name for a bar!" she stated as they approached the frontage. They had arrived on the main promenade on deck 15 of the station. The wide street was flanked by bars, cafes and restaurants. Deget had guided them along to a specific bar.

"I spoke to some of the crew from other capsuleers. Unless we get access to the capsuleer decks, which we won't, this is the best bar. Got some other places to try after but this one is the best apparently. Thought we'd start with the best the station has to offer." Deget said.

"The best a State Protectorate Station has to offer. A stabbed farmer probably sees more action that this bar does." she moaned back.

Deget shrugged and pushed the door open. They were met by a wall of noise. The two surprised crew entered the packed bar. A live band was playing Matari rock on an elevated stage. Some people were dancing, some were chatting, it appeared everyone was having a good time.

"This is NOT a Caldari bar. We're on a State Protectorate Station! This shouldn't be here! What the frack is going on?" Elelle said with a smile, pleasantly surprised.

They slowly made their way through to the bar having to push through the throng of people. When they finally got there it was confirmed this was no normal State Pro bar. Gone were the white-labeled grey-bottled rice wines, replaced with Gallente spirits, Amarrian wines, Matari ales and a few of the best Caldari Sake. They ordered and the barman brought their drinks.

"Who you flying for? What corp?" the barman asked.

"Stay Frosty. We're new." Elelle replied cautiously wondering why the barman asked.

"Ah cool. You see that lot over there under the painting of a Thrasher firing laser beams."

Elelle glanced back and then back to the barman and nodded. She had spotted the large painting when they entered. A Matari destroyer fitted with energy weapons was obviously very wrong.

"That's all Frosty crew if you'd like to meet them. Thought you must be from the fresh blood that arrived earlier. This is pretty much a crew bar and its rare we get so many capitals jumping in other than freighters obviously."

Elelle thanked the barman and headed over with Deget to the group under the painting.

As they approached a Gallente man saw them and rose to greet them.

"Hi, I'm Hos and I fly for Skir Skor. You look fresh off the boat!"

"Yeah just arrived today. Barman sent us over. We crew for Drackarn."

"Cool! The new Egger that just joined us eh?" Nice to have you....."

He was silenced by a raucous cheer and everyone looked up at huge display above the bar. Hos looked up too, swore, picked up his glass and downed two-fingers. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Sorry. Frosty Crew tradition. If you are in the bar and your Egger gets on a kill you drink. Mine is out in a Republic Fleet Firetail now and I crew on his Gallente vessels so I have the night off. They flash the kills by any corp with offices here on that screen as they happen."

Elelle smiled wondering what they had walked into. She noticed in one corner four men and two women were slumped unconscious on the next table. She asked Hos what the deal with that small group was.

"Oh them? They crew for old Cerv. Sorry, I mean Cervantes Marovinjun. He's having a good day. 15 confirmed kills so far. They each passed out one-by-one somewhere between kills eleven and fourteen." Hos laughed. He gestured for the two to take a seat. "At least they got a drink" he laughed again pointing to three others sat with their arms crossed looking miserable. "They crew for Joffy. He has to do the paperwork for the corps relations and standings. Tends to spend more time setting 'blues' than firing guns! No kills today yet."

"What's the deal here?" Deget asked. "After we jumped and saw we were at another State Pro station we were thinking we were doomed to more quiet Caldari station life!"

Hos laughed. Another cheer went up and he swore. Elelle and Deget twisted to see his Capsuleer, Skir Skor, had got on another kill. Hos downed the required amount and put his glass back down.

"Yeah, we got the State Pro here who own the station, but they are outnumbered by us independent... well I suppose you'd call us 'Pre-emptive salvage experts'. You got Stay Frosty which is one of the largest, but you also get the others such as the Black Rebel Rifter Club and other small groups basing from here."

Elelle smiled. "So its more of a pirate station than a State Protectorate station?"

"I think I pointed out 'Pre-emptive salvage experts' was the term." he replied with a smile as a cheer went up. "You guys are up by the way, your egger's not wasting any time." he nodded to the screen.

Elelle and Deget twisted in their seats to see an extract from a CONCORD killmail showing their egger had just destroyed another ship. They looked at each other, shrugged and reached for their drinks. Hos laughed as other crewers cheered them on as they drank.

"You think this bar is good? You ain't seen nothing yet!" he smiled.


Elelle closed her eyes and swayed to the music. She was drunk and very happy. They had visited several bars, all much better than the Caldari bars they had access to in the last year and finally to a nightclub. Compared to what they had to endure recently, this was like a Gallente Prime club on new years eve. The music was a mix of Gallente and Matari electro-dance. It was almost impossible not to move to the beat. Through the evening Hos had given them the low-down. Whilst the State Protectorate ran the station they had no wish to antagonise the pirate corps who based out of there. The war with the Gallente was a stalemate currently. Neither side wanted to upset any large pirate corps who could assist the other side to get back at them. It could easily tip the scales in this war especially in a low-sec entry system such as this one. So the Caldari command took a back seat and the station had changed adopting a more independent capsuleer friendly atmosphere. Feeling a little unsteady she wandered over to a sofa by the dancefloor that Hos was occupying and flopped down.

"Danced out?" he laughed. She nodded realising it had been a whilst since she'd seen Deget last. She leaned forward and scanned the dancefloor.

"11 O'clock. Second level." Hos whispered into her ear.

She looked up to her left at the balcony that surrounded the dancefloor. Deget was up there pressing some raven-haired Gallente woman against a stone-effect pillar. She gripped his hair tight as they kissed passionately, his hands roaming around her shapely body smoothing the electric-blue satin dress against her curves.

"Well looks like he's having a good time!" she laughed.

"He will. That's Amoderia. She crews for Madamonk, one of the Hydrate dot guys. She's always first to pounce on the new arrivals. No matter what the hangover, he'll wake with a smile on his face in the morning."

"She's that good eh? So you must have...." Elelle trailed off with a smile.

"Me? I'm much too of a gentleman to possibly kiss and tell!" he replied with a smile. "Look as capsuleer crew we're here for a good time, not a long time. You get in, make your money and get out before you end up a frozen corpse. Having fun in between that is essential. Nobody knows if tonight is their last night. Tomorrow your pod jockey might decide to take an unwinnable fight simply for shits and giggles and you might not make it to the pods. We drink, we party, we screw and to hell with what tomorrow brings!" he said raising his glass. She raised her own and clinked them together.

"If nobody takes your fancy there are always the 'Backrooms" if you need relaxing".

She looked at him puzzled.

"The backrooms!" he pointed to the distance. Elelle could see a door with a podium next to it. An attractive Caldari woman was stood there. She watched intently and saw a few crew taken inside.

"What goes on in there?" she asked.

"You never been to a club on a Guristas station before? What goes on in there? Your dreams come true! Well the wet ones anyway. On your first visit they do a sixty second assessment of your tastes. Then its a five second assessment everytime you go after that. Its not cheap but you'll never experience anything like it."

"You've done it?" she asked.

"Everyone has. Its all about choice here. You can be like your crewmate up there and go home with another crewer. Or if you want to treat yourself to a special experience...." he let his words hang in the air. "Come on, lets dance whilst you think about it". With that he rose and pulled her onto the dance floor.

As they danced away Elelle found herself looking over to the door a few times. It had been a dry year. Whilst their Capsuleer didn't give a damn and had a hell of a reputation himself, on that station Caldari culture and tradition was stifling. Although nowhere as bad as Amarrian, fraternisation was frowned upon. She could really do with some action.

"Come on!" Hos said dragging her off the dancefloor.


"I can see you looking over there every two minutes. Come on I'll go first to show you its nothing to be worried about."

He led her over to the door. The Caldanese woman smiled and bowed slightly as they approached. There was a piece of equipment on the podium, like an old viewing scope. A face-shaped cone of black plastic rising from the top of the podium. Hos placed his head against it and held his palm on a sensor. Elelle could see some light escaping from where his face and the scope met. He was viewing something. After a few seconds it was over.

"Ah Mr Hos . That will be 300 credits for the primary and 175 for the secondary." she said with a slight bow.

"I'll take the primary tonight thank you Kikyu. My friend here is new, she needs the full assessment. Then give her what her primary is, on my account."

"You don't have to...." she started as Hos walked towards the door which slid open as he approached.

"Yes I do! Enjoy!" he shouted as the doors closed behind him. Just before they closed Elelle saw two women in skimpy lingerie appear to greet him with huge smiles.

"Please look into the scope and place your hand on the palm sensor. It will last 60 seconds. Please do not move until it is over." The Caldari woman stated.

Elelle shrugged and walked forward. She placed her face against the scope looking down, resting her skin on the plastic and placed her palm on the sensor. Images flashed too fast for her to see anything clearly. It was a fast blur. There were women and men. Pairs, threes, fours and sometimes so many all she could see was a mass of flesh. Every race, every colour, young, old. There were tender loving touches, through to passionate love-making and to the sharp crack of a whip or paddle. Moans of pleasure and screams of pain then delight. She saw leather, lace, PVC and satin. Every colour of the spectrum. There were beaches, forests, meadows and castles. In the brief flashes every act of love and passion imaginable was there. Then it was black. She straightened up, slightly shell shocked.

"Well that was.... I'm not sure what it was!" she exclaimed.

"That was the AI finding out what you like and what you don't like. What turns you on and what repulses you. From that one minute the AI now has your top ten likes and what you really want to avoid. Next time you visit it'll be just a quick assessment what in your top ten you are in the mood for. Its all scientific. The AI can now satisfy your deepest desires, even those you won't admit to yourself. Please." the woman gestured to the door.

"What are my top ten?" she ask as she turned to the door. The woman looked shocked.

"Oh we never get to know. Its highly confidential. AI only."

Elelle doubted this but moved to the door which opened and she stepped inside. A few minutes later a side door opened and a couple stepped out. They were both Gallente and dressed as if they were going to an old-fashioned ball. An elegant and beautiful man and woman. The door behind them closed and a door on the opposite side opened. Elelle glanced down and saw dozens of doors off the long corridor. The couple smiled and each took one of her hands and led her down the corridor together. Her heart was racing.

"I think your AI is wrong. I don't....." she couldn't bring herself to elaborate.

"Don't worry. Its a common scenario." the woman spoke as they stopped at a door. The man pressed a button and the door opened. Elelle was led into a bedroom that looked as if it would have belonged to Gallente royalty centuries ago. The huge four poster bed was covered in thick red velvet. It looked like something from one of the period-drama holovids she liked to watch. Paintings of men on horses and wielding medieval weaponry hung from the walls.

Yes, this room, and you..." she gestured to the man "These are all what I've dreamt about at some point. But I'm not...." she said to the woman slightly embarrassed.

"My dear, the AI doesn't get it wrong." she purred as she slowly closed the distance between them. "The assessment always reveals your deepest, darkest desires. Those that you might not even admit to yourself consciously."

She was then toe-to-toe with Elelle . Nobody if forcing you to anything." she said softly as she leaned forward. "You can stop it anytime you want." The woman was whispering now, her lips lightly brushing Elelle cheek as she spoke. "However the body doesn't lie. The AI saw what turned you on. Would you like me count to three to give you time?" Elelle could feel her hot breath on her neck sending tingles up her spine. "One..." the woman whispered continuing to move her face slowly around Elelle's. "Two...." her lips brushing Elelle's earlobe. "Three.....". She felt her lips brush her own. "Last change to back out...." the woman spoke, her voice barely a whisper as their lips touched. "No? Shall be begin then?"


"Rocket launchers overheated. Afterburner active." Deget called out.

"Ready to set an approach vector if they come in!" Elelle replied. "Egger doesn't want an orbit, he wants us in their face!"

There was a tense silence.

"Negative, stand down. It just left the 1AU scan. Now off 5AU. Obviously doesn't want to fight a Vengeance." the scanner operator said.

They were in an Assault Frigate located inside a Caldari dead-space pocket some three astrological units from the station. The Capsuleer was obviously hoping another would use the acceleration gate and be flung right on top of them.

"So good night last night?" Elelle asked as everyone relaxed except the scanner operator who was keeping an eye out for the next potential opponent.

"Amazing. After the last year it could hardly have been boring but this station is amazing. I think we're going to have a great time here."

"Did you and that other crewer, you know..." she pressed.

"Me? Kiss and tell? Who do you think I am?" he said in mock horror. "I'll just say I had a very, very good night. She was actually telling me about what they call The Backrooms if I ever fail to meet someone! Sounded intriguing"

Elelle was suddenly horrified he knew something about last night. He continued, giving no indication that he knew she's already visited them.

"Apparently they do some sort of mind scan on you. Find your deepest fantasies and they've got dozens of men and women back there that make it happen for you. Costumes and all that shit you know. I know you'd not be up for that sort of think yourself but I thought I might give it a go!"

Elelle nodded as if in agreement and her mind wandered back to the unforgettable experience of the previous night.

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