Monday, August 31, 2015

Blog Banter 66 - Caldarification

Welcome to the continuing monthly EVE Blog Banters and our 66th edition! For more details about what the blog banters are please visit the Blog Banter page.

Eve Blog Banter 66 - Caldarification
The art team has been working on many art assets recently and there has been talk of the "Caldarification" of Eve related art. Recently examples have been the WIP images of the Thrasher class destroyer redesign and the citadel. Do we need to keep the lines between the races designs clear cut or is some blending of more generic sci-fi styling a good thing? Should Matari be flying/floating scrap heaps? Should Gallente be 'all about the bass'? Or is a bit of generic sci-fi styling needed to bring new life to our important internet spaceships even if it leans a bit to Caldari?


Tetra's Eve Blog -
Eveoganda -
Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah -
MMO Nomad ,confessions of a -

Sunday, August 30, 2015

SCASSSS - How Long Has THAT Been There?

For Friday's fiction I wanted a screenshot of a Gallente structure that could be the base of Operation Phoenix. I had popped into null and screenie a Gallente Outpost but then went to Dodixie to look at possible stations as I wasn't happy with the outpost. I then noticed a beacon for a Celestial Agent. Thought I'd try that. I get the pop up as I select warp.

An Impetus agent awaits you in this deadspace complex.
Impetus are the leading creators and distributors of all sorts of entertainment: holoreels, cheap XXXgraphy, even seedier (or perhaps, more ethically questionable) means of kinetically visual fare. Regardless of their product, the entertainment lifestyle is decadent and glamorous, so talking to this agent might provide you a glimpse into that exotic world.

I've been to Dodixie countless times, never seen this before!

Friday, August 28, 2015

From the Ashes - Part 2

Friday fiction! Escape pod here.

I have a stinking case of man flu and my head is all blocked up. Please forgive any typos or better still let me know so I can correct them. OK? Can I go back to bed and die now?

From the Ashes - Part 2

"Senator Yvesque, welcome. I am Doctor Arneche head of the Phoenix program."

The senator shook the doctor's hand as he left the starships ramp and stepped onto the deck. He followed as the doctor gestured to the long corridor leading from the docking bay.

"I understand you are here to review our progress. Its an exciting time and...." the Doctor shut up as the senator lifted his palm.

"900 million ISK has been poured into the project for one man. Plus we are now three months over the original timescale. I and my fellow oversight committee members are concerned. I don't care how exciting times are for you intellectuals. I want to be convinced we aren't throwing nearly a billion interstellar kredits away needlessly."

The doctor smiled and nodded. "Of course sir. Captain Hoyere is about to start one of his training runs. I am sure after you have seen this you'll agree it is money well spent."

The continued down into a corridor with a large blast-door. The doctor scanned his iris and it opened. They entered a command centre with the far wall covered in massive screens.

"What can you tell me about Captain Hoyere. Why did he volunteer for such a radical program?"

The Doctor cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Well sir. He didn't volunteer as such."

The senator raised an eyebrow.

"The Zonelle Crime Syndicate call it a 'Hell Cell'. Perhaps their worst punishment. Captain Hoyere and his wife were kidnapped following an attempt to capture Zonelle Callor from which the criminal escaped. He wanted revenge. Captain Hoyere was subject to some brutal surgery. His eyes, ears, nose, tongue and vocal cords were all removed. They also ensured there was significant nerve damage to prevent any implants or prosthetics being used. They also removed his arms, legs and genitals, as much none essential flesh as possible. Same again with the nerve destruction. Finally they injected him with a mild radioactive isotope. The radiation will eventually kill him but not for years. The reason they do it is to prevent brain-scans. We cannot clone him a new body as we cannot transfer his brain pattern. He is basically a featureless head on a trunk whose only sense is touch on the skin he has remaining. He was locked in, unable to move or feel anything in a black, silent world."

"My god!" the senator exclaimed as they entered an observation room. A mock up of a city street was below in a vast hanger. "Thats like capsuleer mindlock, but worse!"

"It gets even worse."

"Worse? How can it be worse?" he asked shocked.

"Before the surgery they inject the victim with a combination of adrenalin and a stimulant called 'EZ Lurn'. Its an illegal booster popular with students that boosts memory retention. They then cut off the victim's eyelids. Finally they brutalise and murder a loved one in front of them. Usually it is their partner, their child, best friend, mother, father, anyone the victim has a close emotional bond with. Once in the 'hell cell' the victim has vivid recollections of what happened thanks to the memory boosting drugs and the fact they have no other senses to distract them. The last one recorded before this was a judge who refused a bribe and sent one of Zonelle's men down for 20 years. They found the judge in his 'hell cell' next to what was left of his son."

A thud that sounded like someone stomping in heavy boots sounded through the room.

"So they did that to Captain Hoyere?" the senator asked quietly, his eyes glued to the window waiting to get his first look.

"Yes. His wife was the victim. Postmortem examination of her recovered body showed they'd worked on her, for want of a better expression, for four hours before taking him into surgery. They made sure both him and his wife's body were recovered. Applications for the unit tasked with capturing Zonelle Callor dropped by 80% after that. Their plan worked. It scared a lot of officers off the case. Nobody wanted to be in a position where they and their loved ones might suffer the same fate. In fact many officers updated their files with instructions to euthanise them if that ever happened to them."

The senator opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out as he saw the silver humanoid shape emerge from the door. It looked about seven feet high and shone brightly in the spotlights. It looked like a robot from some action blockbuster holoreel.

"So he's a robot now!"

"Technically sir he's a cyborg. A robot would break the CONCORD rules on autonomous combat AI. There must be a human controlling the 'kill decision'. Inside that metal frame is what remains of Captain Hoyere. His capsuleer implants allowed for seamless integration with the chassis and the supplemental AI."

"So he's a capsuleer inside a robot then?"

"No sir, again that would break CONCORD rules on the spread of Empyrean Tech. There is no cloning. So whilst the control system is the same as a capsuleer, there is no life after death for the Captain. He is mortal effectively."

The men watched in silence as the cyborg moved through the fake street. Animatronic dummies of people popped out of doors and from windows. The civilians were ignored, the obvious armed criminals getting a bullet to their heads.

"The report said there was delays due to psychological issues?" the Senator asked.

"Yes sir. Obviously it needed to be a special person for this project. Whilst some have argued its hardly different to a capsuleer inside a ship, they are forgetting one thing. Capsuleers can get out of the machine. They are able to savour fine food and drink, the warmth of a sun, the skin of a lover. Captain Hoyere will never feel any of those again. He is trapped in a tritanium and carbon-plasteel shell until he dies. We thought the memory of what happened would allow him to look beyond that, beyond his own needs and accept his role to bring justice and prevent it from happening again. However the memories of what they did to his wife were too strong. He was enraged and uncontrollable."

The Senator shook his head. "You fracking eggheads have the social skills of a Fedo. A man is forced to watch his wife brutalised and tortured to death and then locked in that hell cell thing, and then you think he'll be happy that you stuck his remains inside a fracking robot and expecting him to become a 24/7 happy policeman!"

The doctor looked sheepish.

"Well, we have been able to edit some of his memories and put some of the decisions into the control of an AI. He knows that the Zonelle syndicate did him a great wrong, he just cannot recall it in detail. He has the drive for justice, just not seeing in his mind's eye what actually happened. There are also some aspects of his personality that the AI now controls including memory recollection so we can block them out. He's a perfect blend of man and machine."

The Senator looked down.

"Would you class him as human?"

"Yes sir. That was the purpose. We could have linked him to the chassis remotely but that would again have breached CONCORD laws designed to limit the spread of Empyrean tech and reduced effectiveness. Captain Hoyere needs food, water and oxygen to survive. If he is killed then he is permanently dead. Whilst there is no one in the Cluster so modified and given that have we retain a certain degree of control of his mind with the hybrid AI system, he is still a person."

Captain Hoyere had reached the end of the street. 34 criminal dummies were down, no civilian 'casualties' out of the 26.


It was like being in control of a ship from a Capsule. Captain Hoyere didn't see himself as the pilot of the machine, he was the machine. The interface projected on his vision was similar to that of when he was in command of a starship. Information streamed from multiple sources. He could use the powerful computing abilities of the cyborg AI to do complex calculations in microseconds. He saw more, he heard more, he could do more. As he returned towards the lab he also was very aware like when in a capsule he couldn't feel himself. He could 'feel' the suit but nothing more. As his heavy feet strode down the fake streetscene he couldn't feel anything else than the cold metal chassis. He'd never feel anything again. The sand between his toes, the sun on his face, the kiss of..... He struggled to recall her name. The memory was there, so near yet just out of reach. Anger boiled inside him. Zonelle Callor had taken her away from him. He had destroyed his body and tried to erase her from his memory. The scientists who saved him told him this. He would get his revenge but first he needed to prove he was ready.

He entered the lab and returned to the docking station. It was an alcove set in the centre of a plinth in the lab. He backed into it and sensed the connections it made with him. Tubes to feed him and give him water. Others to remove waste products built up over time. He would never eat again. Never taste a fine steak or a sweet Amarrian wine. They did this to him. They would pay.

"How are you?" Madelanda asked as she appeared in front of him with a datapad. She was the first person he saw when they activated his vision. An Intaki scientist who had been with him almost all the way.

"I am operating at 97% efficiency" Captain Hoyere replied in the synthesized voice. His own vocal chords were removed by them. Zonelle Callor had taken so much from him.

"I can see that. However, how are you?"

Hoyere paused.

"I am fine." he finally replied.

The Intaki woman smiled and continued her diagnostic.


In another part of the outpost the senator looked at the missile-shaped ship shaking his head.

"This man has captained vast battlecruisers before. You are seriously suggesting he flys that!" he said pointing to the tiny spacecraft. "Is even smaller than a shuttle!"

"Senator. We are creating the ultimate police officer, not a warrior. We could give him a Brutix but that's not what he is for. This small ship is fast and almost impossible to hit by any normal starship, its too small and maneuverable. It has advanced electronics and also uses some of the new Jove tech. It can interface with any outpost, station or ship and override docking controls and cargo bay doors. It will allow the Captain to board anything he needs to get the job done which is arresting suspects, not blowing them up."

The Senator nodded, understanding the significance. CONCORD had already learnt of the Phoenix program and made representations to the Federation. As they were neither breaking rules on artificial intelligence or Empyrean tech they were told to keep their noses out. When CONCORD pressed the matter the Federation had simply replied "THANATOS". CONCORD quickly backed off at that point. During the Pike's Landing incident several years ago, where the first cloned soldiers were used, a Gallente special forces unit were killed by a genetically modified female agent. That agent was killed by a Mordu's Legion task force and the body recovered by the Federation. Whilst it could not be proved the deadly genetically engineered woman was a CONCORD agent it was highly suspected. Threatening to reopen the case had got CONCORD to back off.

The doctor continued to explain that the ship worked similar to the capsule with the Captain's suit providing the role of the pod interface. However as there was no cloning involved it was not officially empyrean tech. The ship also acted as his alcove on the outpost did. It fed and watered his organic parts, remove waste buildup and provide basic diagnostics. It also held supplies, spare parts and various arms. It would keep the Captain going for months away from the base.

"Well Doctor. It's all very promising but I need to know when our billion ISK man will be out there bringing the criminals of the Federation to justice?"

The Doctor smiled.

"When you arrived Senator I said it was an exciting time and I meant it. He goes into active service tomorrow. That was the final test run you observed earlier. He's about to leave for his first mission against the Zonelle crime syndicate. A tip off has just come in that a high-level enforcer has arrived on a nearby outpost."


Yvempont groaned as he woke up. He felt rough. As he slowly sat up, an empty bottle of vodka rolled off his chest and clattered to the floor. The bottle rolling on the metal deck plate was like nails on a chalkboard to him. Another groan reminded him why he was there. He glanced into the corner and saw one of the girls remained. He was not surprised to see it was the one he'd made the example of. He'd come to this outpost on orders of Zonelle. There was a rumour that several of his girls were not handing over the full amount of what they earned working at the club. As an unknown he was to come to the club and get picked up. Two nights ago he'd selected three random girls at the club and taken them back to his rented room. He'd given those whores two grand each for the night and had a very good night with them. Yesterday he'd gone to seen the club manager. The man had nearly crapped himself when he'd found Yvempont was one of Zonelle's personal enforcers. When questioned he had said the three girls had handed over less than a grand each that next morning. Not bad for them on a normal night, but Yvempont had given those robbing bitches two each. He had told the club manager not to say anything and had returned later that night. The same three girls had seen him arrive and immediately ditched the Client they were negotiating with. Kredit signs had flashed in their eyes as their big spender had returned. He'd taken them back and then explained who he was after locking the door. The fear in their eyes had been wonderful to him. They'd begged him for mercy. He'd obviously taken advantage of the situation. There was nothing they wouldn't do for fear of what punishment he would dish out for them cheating their employer. After he was sated and the three thought they'd pleased him enough to get off with a warning he acted. He chose the least attractive, and therefore least valuable in earnings terms. He had beaten her to a pulp whilst the other two watched in tears. A few carefully placed slashes with his Matari hunting knife meant she'd never be working again in the industry. The job was done, the other two would spread the word what had happened and they'd have no more issues with the working girls syphoning off funds on that outpost.

He stood and walked over to the girl who was curled up against the corner. She was barely conscious. She looked up at him terrified, her ruined left cheek caked in blood. Parts of her lips and the tip of her nose were missing when the knife had done its work.

"Best of luck with the career." he snarled before kicking her in the chest. There was a crack and a howl of agony. Yvempont grabbed his bag and opened the door in order to leave, his work done. As the door slid open he dropped the bag to the floor in shock and his mouth fell open. The other side of the door was a huge robot. Whilst drones were an everyday sight in New Eden, humanoid robots were not. MTACs and other ridable exoskeletons were seen in cargo bays and mining outposts, but drones made to look like real people were unpopular. Yvempont immediately saw the Federal Police logo on the things chest.

"Frack me!"

"Yvempont Jecenare you are under arrest. There are 42 outstanding warrants for you in three star systems. You are charged with the murder of......"

Captain Hoyere paused. A memory flashed. A name. Murder. Someone he loved. He saw Yvempont's face but not in front of him. It was a memory. An old factory. There were others there. A distressed woman was under Yvempont screaming as the thug laughed ripping her clothing off. The others just stood there. Why didn't they help her? Why wasn't he helping?

Yvempont noticed the pause and made a run for it. He dashed past the robot and took off down the corridor. Captain Hoyere drew his weapon and turned. In microseconds various firing solutions were calculated. Red lines and dots appearing in his vision and ending at various locations of Yvempont's body with percentage based outcomes. The shot rang out and Yvempont tumbled to the ground screaming. Captain Hoyere walked up to the prone man who was holding his calf where the bullet had torn a chunk from his flesh.

"You shot me! You son of a bitch! AI isn't allowed to shoot a fleeing suspect!"

"Gallente Prime Supreme Court ruling number 34567 tack 912b. The Federation verses Ophaeghe Aufer. A Police Officer is within the law to use a disabling shot on a fleeing suspect when the potential charge is murder one or two, amongst other serious felonies."

The silver robot reached down and picked Yvempont by grabbing his jacket heaving him into the air.

"And I am not an AI!"

To be continued....

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

CCP, What Have You Done?


Yeah, yeah, we've got all this new Sov stuff and the Amarr just went to war with the Drifters and Mittens is burning Provi. But the big news, the really important thing this week is.... the Rogue Drone Battleship has losts its tentacles!!!! LOOK!

I loved the tentacles! I've even featured them in my crap fiction! These are what I mean!

And now they are gone. RIP rogue drone tentacles :(

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Empress is Dead....

...or is she?

So, shockingly, the Drifters turned up to pop Empress Jamyl I over the weekend at the flagship handover party. Pretty sure no one is surprised at that!

There has been a lot of talk about if she was a capsuleer won't she just reclone? Now I'm no massive expert but this is how I remember the lore goes. If you want the real story go track down one of the Hydrostatic Podcast guys or Mark726! There are likely mistakes below, but its roughly in the ballpark..

The Amarrian Heirs aren't allowed to have clones, sacred flesh or something. Those that can ascend to the throne must be pure. They are allowed to be capsuleers and have the implants but they are not allowed to be clones.

When an Emperor/Empress dies a new one is selected by the succession trials. This is basically a big space brawl between the eligible heirs (seven of them? Or am I getting confused my Matari Tribes) to see who gets the top job. The losers all destruct their capsules so that the newly appointed Emperor/ess has no rivals or other claims to the throne. In the last one Champions were selected (I think it was an IG event using players?) but the result was the same, the losing Heirs were expected to kill themselves.

So without clones they are all dead forever right?

Nope. The naughty* Jamyl had a secret clone. So when she destroyed her pod a few years ago when she lost in the succession trials she was recloned, however there was a problem. The brain-scan took an exceptionally long time to arrive and when it did, it was much bigger than expected.

As far as I know CCP have not revealed why officially, however, it is widely accepted that 'The Other' got in on the transmission and embeded him/her/itself into her consciousness. Who is 'The Other', again we don't know 100% if it is The Other, but the consensus is it is an entity that was 'born' in the Sleeper construct. Think of the construct as a sort of The Matrix and The Other as Agent Smith. Anyway the rules of the Matrix, sorry The Construct, was that to exist inside the Construct you had to have a body in the real world. The Sleepers chased The Other and some how due to "space magic" it was able to get inside Jamyl's head. No mean feat given this all probably kicked off in wormhole space. It might be that Jamyl was using a Templar Implant or other such Sleeper tech well before wormholes became commonplace following the Apocrypha event.

When the Empyrean War kicked off seven years ago Jamyl was able to guide her supporters (she's a bit psychic too now she's been reborn) to a Terran superweapon hidden by the Jove near the Eve Gate. This stopped the Elder Invasion by nuking them. This act of saving the Throne Worlds then led to her becoming the Empress even though it was obvious she'd been cloned. The Sleeper-Jove connection means that The Other could know where the Terran artifacts were hidden. As it is believed he/she/it is inside Jamyl's head it stands to reason this is why she knew where to find it.

Since she fired that thing off she's been acting wierd (read Templar One) and has appeared to have multiple personalities. Remember it was the Amarr who were going into Sleeper structures to pull the implants out of the heads of sleeping Sleepers to make cloned soldiers.

The Drifters appear to have been after the Amarr since they showed up. Drifters/Jove/Sleeper connections would mean that they really want The Other out of the head of the most powerful person in New Eden.

So is Jamyl dead? Possibly. CCP have said they want players taking centre stage, not NPC's. Heth is gone, Jamyl may be gone. Roden and Maleatu Shakor should be worried!

Then again we know Naughty Jamyl likes bending the rules and I doubt The Other who is influencing her gave two hoots about Amarrian tradition. I would expect between the two of them they'd have a clone or ten stashed somewhere.

OK, so thats roughly the story on why Jamyl is a capsuleer, hasn't got official clones but might have some hidden ones. Ish. Sort of. Badly. I hope Mark726 or the Hydrostatic guys don't see this, I'll probably get roasted.

*For naughtiness justification read Templar One, Page 287!

Sunday, August 23, 2015

SCASSSS - Raata Skins

New Caldari skins are coming next week... and they are very red! I really like these. Here are the Raven and Moa Raata Sunset skins:-

Friday, August 21, 2015

From the Ashes

Friday Fiction! Escape pod here

Another "I'm not sure where I'm going with this one". I have an idea and thought I'd try and see if I can make it up as I go along week by week. Lets see....

From the Ashes

"Stay here on the undock. I'll go in and coordinate the SWAT team." Jorerout's voice sounded calm over the comms.

"What? And miss the takedown? No chance partner." Hoyere replied.

The two Federation Police Comets approached the vast station at speed. They dodged around the lumbering freighters and battleships coming and going from the Nugoeihuvi facility.

"Seriously man. Stay here. You get married in two days. If you are killed out here I'll just have Maison moaning at me that you are bald on your wedding day. Lets not think of the issues if it goes tits up inside!"

Hoyere knew Jorerout had a point but he didn't want going to miss this. The Special Investigations Group had been chasing Zonelle Callor for two years. A prominent gangster and drug lord he had a fearsome reputation. The SIG was an elite unit of the Navy that dealt with cases that the Federal Police could not. As well as being outstanding police officers, they were also capsuleers.

Zonelle rarely visited normal stations. Given he was the most wanted man in the solar system he stuck to the dead-space pirate enclaves. However they had traced him here to the station at Eglennaert 1 Moon 17. Apparently one of his men had been selling a little product on the side. Zonelle had broke routine and secretly come here to dispense his sick version of justice. If it came to a firefight outside the station Hoyere would be OK. Even if his ship was destroyed and they hit his pod, the neural scanner would take a snapshot of his brain and transmit it via the fluid routers faster-than-light to a clone reanimation unit. He'd wake up in a new body on his home station in seconds. In the station and away from his pod, death would be a lot more permanent.

"I mean it man. Abort the dock. Cover their escape path. Don't make Maison bury you on what should be your wedding day. It only needs one of us in there." Jorerout reiterated.

"Frack!" Hoyere sighed and banked the frigate hard to the left. "OK. You get the fun THIS time! I'd say when we near your marriage day then I get all the fun, but we both know you'll never find a woman stupid enough to settle down with you!"

Jorerout just laughed as his ship was pulled inside the vast station by the docking tractor beams.

Hoyere switched the comm channel to the operational one. He heard the swat team talking. He then also activated the channel for the wire. They had an operative already on Zonelle's ship posing as flight crew. Whilst for a normal person listening to the two channels would have been confusing, a capsuleer is able to listen to both at the same time. Within seconds of each other, both channels seam to indicate Zonelle was returning to his ship. Show time.

"Alpha team, we take him on the dock-side. We need him alive. Lets not give this shit the easy way out." Jorerout stated obviously now on site.

The various team members acknowledged the orders.

"Mr Callor  is returning, ensure he has chilled champagne waiting for him." a woman's voice sounded on the other channel. Hoyere recognised as Ulkka Has. She was Zonelle's number two. She was Caldari and was wanted for a series of horrific crimes. Zonelle obviously enjoyed dispensing justice himself but when he was busy he used Ulkka as a more than adequate alternative. Hoyere had seen first hand some of her 'handiwork'. He'd found one of his informants hanging by their feet in their apartment after being slowly skinned alive. Intel was that it was Ulkka who had killed him.

"GO! GO! GO!"

Jorerout's voice snapped him back to the present. He swung his frigate in a wide arc and positioned in front of the station undock.

He listened to the shouts and gunfire as the takedown started. Suddenly there was a strange sound. Something akin to a buzzsaw cutting through a tree trunk. The screams where loud, too loud to be Zonelle's men.

"Frack, they have anti-personnel mini-guns on that thing! Retreat!" someone yelled. Hoyere had no intel that the Zonelle's ship had anti-personnel weapons. Why would it? Unless...

"Hoyere you there?" Jorerout's voice sounded strained.

"You OK?" he asked concerned.

"Took one on the shoulder but I'll live. It was a trap. That shuttle had Matari weapons in hidden hatches. They are coming to you!"

Hoyere flipped the safeties off from the twin neutron blasters his ship was armed with.

"This is to any cops outside." Zonelle's voice was clear over the second comm line. Hoyere knew what that meant, he was speaking to their inside man. "Let us go or I'll gut your man here like a fish. Then I'll order my men to track down his family and burn them alive." The transmission ended with a pained scream.

"Captain Hoyere. You are to disable that vessel as it undocks." the voice of the Commander came over the link to ensure Hoyere didn't have any thoughts about complying with Zonelle's threat. He didn't.

"Frack!" Hoyere muttered in his head. With a thought he sent and order back to base to send a protection detail to Blalt's home. He had a wife and son. One thing he knew about Zonelle was that he'd never let Blalt live. Whatever the outcome, he would still kill Blalt if Hoyere did not engaged.

The shuttle left the undock and Hoyere quickly targeted the vessel. As soon as the computer locked the ship he activated a warp disruptor and stasis webifier. The two graviton based systems disabled the shuttles warp drive and slowed it by 60%.

"Oh dear, oh dear" Zonelle's voice sounded. Hoyere knew there was no point saying anything as the channel was one way. Hoyere maintained the electronic warfare modules on the frigate as a huge Brutix class battlecruiser approached to scoop the shuttle into its cargo bay where there would be no escape for the vicious criminal. The screams of agony from Blalt echoed in Hoyere's ears.

A transmission burst onto the local channel.

"Man, that agent had guts! And now they are all over my deck. This is Zonelle Callor. The Federal filth are about to take me. 10 million credits whoever springs me".

The channel went silent as the shuttle was pulled into the Brutix and the transmission was cut.


Hoyere was stood on the cliff top looking out at the vast ocean. The music signified that it was starting. He turned around and looked back. The guests had stood up and Maison appeared from the back. He father walking beside her. The white wedding gown billowed slightly in the afternoon breeze.

"If I propose now, do you think she'll change her mind and go for the handsome one?" Jorerout whispered in Hoyere's ear.

"We are twenty metres from the cliff edge. Do you think I can throw you off and find another best man before she gets here?" he replied.

"Fair point!" Jorerout conceded.

Finally Maison took her place beside him. He glanced and she returned the smile. The Minister took his position in front of them.

"Dear Citizens. We are here today to witness the joining of this man and this woman....." he started.

Following the cliff top ceremony they had the wedding meal inside. The speeches were entertaining with Jorerout stealing the show recounting some of the more repeatable escapades of him and Hoyere in the academy. It was soon the evening and dancing. By midnight things quietened down. The barman had nobody to serve and was discretly watching the news on his datapad. The waiters were cleaning the majority of the tables that were unoccupied. Think Jorerout is going to get lucky tonight Maison asked nodded to Hoyere's partner who was slow dancing with a bridesmaid. "May be, but you first" he whispered pulling her out of her seat and towards their private villa on the edge of the resort. The barman briefly looked up as the newly weds left and then turned his attention back to the lead story about an infamous crime lord who had escaped after an attack on a police convoy.

"Are you sure you are sober enough for this?" Maison giggled.

Hoyere carried her in his arms whilst trying to open the door to the secluded villa.

"I can command vast starships with the power of my mighty mind!" he slurred slightly "A door is......."

He stumbled and fell against the wall for support.

"Apparently a lot more difficult!" he laughed finally getting the keycard close enough to the sensor so the door unclicked. He kicked it open and carried Maison inside giggling.

"Lights" he commanded and the room illuminated. He stopped, stunned. Stood in front of him were two men with guns drawn. He slowly lowered his bride to the floor and guided her behind him, shielding her from the two men.

He went to speak but they pulled the triggers first.


Hoyere was vaguely aware of the sharp pain in his arm. Suddenly he snapped to, screaming. The adrenaline coursing through his system. He quickly took everything in. He was hanging by his arms inside what appeared to be an old factory. In front of him Ulkka was stood smiling with a syringe. Behind her he saw a makeshift hospital set up complete with a surgeon drone standing by.

"Where is my wife?" he said calmly.

"Oh you'll see her soon enough. In fact we need to make sure you see it all." she replied sending a chill through him. Zonelle's right-hand woman put the syringe down and picked up a small laser scalpel that was sat with a collection other implements and bottles on some old machinery next to her. He knew Ulkka's reputation, his only hope was she'd mess up and accidently kill him. The small bottles of clear liquid made his blood run cold. He'd heard stories of her and her organic acid.

"This may sting a bit and I'd advise you not to move." she said menacingly as she reached for his face. She pulled on his eyelid and raised the scalpel. Hoyere grunted as she quickly removed his eyelids. The heat of the laser cauterizing the wound so no blood affected his vision. She stepped back as Hoyere heard footsteps. His wife was still wearing her wedding dress as she was roughly pulled into the factory between the two men who had taken them. There was a third following behind in the shadows. A menacing shape in the black. As they reached the light Hoyere's blood ran cold. It was Zonelle.

"Captain Hoyere. Good to see you. I must say I admire your tenacity. You nearly got me. Well, technically you did get me." he stated lighting a fat cigar. "Luckily I have friends in low places."

He slowly circled Maison who was being restrained by the two men.

Another shape appeared from the gloom and approached. Hoyere's hopes jumped and were suddenly dashed as he saw Jorerout.

"Your money is there." Zonelle said pointing to a case on the floor. "10 million".

Jorerout walked over and picked it up. He looked at Hoyere . "Sorry partner, but 10 mil is 10 mil." he shrugged.

"Bastard! I'll kill you!" Hoyere hissed.

Jorerout gave an awkward smile and looked over at the sobbing Maison. He looked at Zonelle, his expression unsure. "What are you going to do with her?" he asked.

"We are going to party. Stay if you want, you can join in!" Zonelle said cheerfully.

"Let her go. It's me you want." Hoyere pleaded knowing it would be useless. Maison looked into her husband's eye's, her pleading eyes were wet and mascara streaked down her face.

"I could, but where is the fun in that?" Zonelle smirked as he wandered behind her looking over her shoulder direct into Hoyere's eye. He maintained the stare as he pulled the cigar from his lips. A second later there was a hiss and Maison's body went rigid as she screamed.

"Bastard!" Hoyere screamed thrashing in his bonds.

"Oh that? That's just the beginning. Wait until we get really started. A bride should always have an unforgettable wedding night!" he laughed.

Jorerout turned and started to leave "I'll leave you to it. Have fun." he said with a wave.

Zonelle didn't reply. He was looking at Hoyere with an evil smile. He gripped the shoulders of Maison's wedding dress and ripped it down as Maison screamed.

Ulkka appeared back in front of him. She smiled seductively at him as she picked up one of the small bottles of liquid from her assembled equipment.

"Oh, did you think all these things were for you? Sorry darling, we have something special for you later." she nodded to the makeshift surgery set up in the corner "All my toys here are for the blushing bride!"

Hoyere's scream echoed through the vast room as Ulkka picked up a few more of the wicked impliments and turned, approaching the trembling Maison.


The Commander put down the file. The intelligence officer sat opposite his desk sat impassively.

"You seriously want me to sign off on this?" the Commander asked.

"Yes sir."

The older man reached into his desk, pulled a bottle of Gallente vodka out and poured two glasses. He downed his in one.

"Operation Phoenix was just theory crafting. A potential way to get around the restrictive CONCORD laws on advanced AI and Empyrean technology. Not something ever seriously considered." he sighed.

"No sir. That was because none of the egg-heads could get it to work. The psych guys also said a normal person couldn't handle it. However the technological advances since the Jove Observatories decloaked mean it is now viable. Plus we have a test subject who has motivation that will override the psychological issues the quacks feared. Its perfect."

The Commander fell silent. Thinking about the options.

"What is the Captain's condition?"

"The doctors call it stable. I'd call it hell. He's nothing more than a shell. They took him apart and made sure they did enough nerve damage so implants and prosthetics would be unusable. He's blind, deaf, cannot touch, smell or taste. They cannot get a clear brainscan so cannot clone him due to that radioactive shit they injected him with. The radiation poisoning will kill him, but it'll take a few years. Until then he's locked into what is left of his body with no senses and no way to take his mind off....." the officer paused a second "...what happened at the end. He has nothing to think about other than those last hours he was forced to watch and endure. That's why they call it a 'hell cell' Chief. His capsuleer implants are OK. That's why he's the perfect candidate for Phoenix."

Both men fell silent.

"Frack. I spoke at his wife's funeral yesterday. A closed coffin as nobody should ever see a body in that state. Frack, and that is all Hoyere has to think about laying there locked into the silent blackness! If that happened to me someone better put a bullet in my brain. In fact I'm having that put on my file. Frack that and frack Zonelle the sick bastard and his hell cell."

The intelligence officer paused waiting to see if the commander was going to say any more. When he didn't he pushed the datapad forward with a single finger.

"I agree sir. However, personally, I'd relish the chance to even the score. Operation Phoenix would allow Captain Hoyere to do that."

The Commander looked at the orders awaiting his thumb-print authorisation. He shook his head and reached forward.

"Operation Phoenix approved and may Captain Hoyere forgive me for not putting a bullet in his brain instead."

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Outnumbered and Outgunned

Logged into Eve Online yesterday to an email saying that Rapid Withdrawal are pushing forward in our area. "Right!" I thought, "I'll go kill some of them. That'll teach em a lesson trying to capture our space!"

Jumped into Nagamanen.

T3 destroyers and cruisers outnumbering me 8 to 1. I scanned a few plex, saw what was inside and went back to Has. Looked at who was online in corp, docked up and logged off.

When I was looking for a new corporation late last year I looked carefully at activity. I could solo enough in QCats, I was looking for some fleet and small gang action. I needed to find an active corp in my timezone. I did what any self respecting Eve Online player does, I made a spreadsheet. I logged the kills and loses of all potentials in my own primetime that I might be interested in trying to join or ones that other people had suggested for me on this blog or on Twitter. I tried to find the most active PvP/pirate corporation in my timezone. At GMT +4 its a struggle. Thats the same TZ as Russia east of Moscow, Kazakhstan, western parts of Turkey and Syria, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi, UAE, Oman, Somalia and Madagascar. I did get an invite from a Somali group when I said I was looking to join a bunch of pirates but they appeared to get confused when I asked if they were all minus ten. They did say they honoured ransoms though.

Templis was the clear winner in number of kills in my TZ and proximity. However, I didn't know then what I know now. That was at the time the filthy frog scum were pushing for the Templis home system of Hasmijala. December and January were great months for me. I logged on and there were usually half a dozen in corp on, fleets already rolling and we could kill frogs. It was glorious! In the last week of December when I joined I got 67 kills. January it was up to 211. My most active month since November 2013. Then the Gallente Militia stopped trying to take Hasmijaala and everyone went back to their normal routines. Their normal routines being not logging in during the GMT +4 timezone. I still solo'd but went down to 5-20 kills a month.

I suppose last night I could have sat in a neighbouring system in a plex hoping for a 1v1 but the entire area was crawling with Frog and blues were a rare sight. Most likely to have bait show up and then it decend into a Drackarn gang-bang as a small fleet shows up to kill me.

What I need to do is up my ships. To this effect I decided to grab a faction frigate and go out and take the fight. Efficiency be damned!

I went for a Fed Navy Comet and headed out. What did I find.....?

Not a single Frog.


Monday, August 17, 2015

Aegis Sov - Den of Iniquity

Work is manic currently and running on minimum Eve mojo again. I did want to cover what I'd been hearing about FozzieSov at some point. However there is no need now. Check out this rather detailed post of FozzieSov tears, mechanics and solutions over at Den of Iniquity. A very good read!

Sunday, August 16, 2015


I do like the EoM Sacrilege Skin. Available in an 'advanced cruiser' bundle on the NEX store.

The Justice Skins, not so much.

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Other Side of the Pits

Friday Fiction. Escape pod here.

One of my favorite official Chronicles is "In the Pits". A pirate attack on an asteroid mining base. That was told from the point of view of Adek, a miner. How about the other side? Bit of a rush job this as I'm away this weekend. Hope I didn't herpa derp!

The Other Side of the Pits

The frigate slowly circled the asteroid. Hadako and his fellow pirates listened to the sound of the makeshift missiles being launched. Each one contained an incendiary device behind a warhead designed to punch through rock and tritanium. Whilst their intel said this mining facility was running on a skeleton crew, they were still outnumbered. Apparent capsuleer activity had made most the miners run back to hi-sec space. However, forty or fifty still remained. The pirates were well armed and experienced raiders, but they could be still overwhelmed. The missiles would decompress areas of the facility and those where the damage controls sealed the breaches would have their oxygen sucked out of them my the burning incendiary device. Most of the miners would be blown into space, burned alive or suffer a slow death from asphyxiation.

"One more pass and then we breach! Lock and load!" Sistran the leader growled.

Hadako checked his weapon. The golden laser pistol was almost brand new. They had raided an industrial vessel a few weeks ago and found it was containing a shipment of Amarrian weaponry. The solid-state lasers were ideal for this kind of raid. Anti-personnel weapons that fired a scorching beam of energy. Stray shots had little chance of breaching starship hulls or windows and were unlikely to damage the loot. They were also scary. The light they emitted was one thing, but the knowledge of what a solid-state laser did to the human body. Most people fled rather than fought.

The sound of the missile launches stopped, they were out. Now it was time to breach the colony. There would be some resistance but they didn't know how much.

"Wonder if there'll be any fun to be had on board?" Egbilolf next to him roared with a laugh. Hadako nodded and smiled although he never went in for that. He was there for the money and if anyone got in his way they were dead. Some of the crew like Egbilolf liked playing with their victims. Hadako had always thought of that as sadistic. He was a pirate and would happily put shot between the eyes of an unarmed civilian but he'd not make them suffer.

The frigate landed with a bump and the squad lined up by the door. It slowly opened and the two lead pirates glanced around the frame.

"Clear!" announced the first one.

"Clear!" confirmed the second.

The 12 pirates casually filed out into the empty hanger and headed to the big blast doors leading into the colony proper. The lead pirate looked through the tiny window.

"Got about a dozen 'bears' through there behind makeshift barricades. Mostly old-school Matari weapons, spray and pray."

Sistran considered the situation. He'd led this group of thugs on more than a hundred raids. Whilst they certainly taken losses, it was lower than other groups in the organisation. Even civilians would be able to get some lucky shots if they fired enough bullets, and Matari weapons certainly fired a lot of bullets.

The miners on the other side looked on in fear. Trembling hands held the older Minmatar machine pistols which had not been fired in years. A few more joined their ranks. They had almost 20 there now. Would that be enough each of them thought. A hissing noise made several of them jump. A bright orange spot appeared in the centre of the blast-door. Molten metal started dripping down, sizzling as it dripped onto the cold deck plate. As the hole widened to the size of a football the heat stopped. The miners held their breath. Five silver balls dropped through. Too far from the barricade to be grenades. The frightened men watched in terror as the balls sprouted legs and started running towards them. The noise of the gunfire was deafening as the miners fired at the rapidly approaching drones. The drones were too fast and manoeuvrable and the miners too unskilled with fire arms. The drones spread out and leaped over the barricade. As they reached their maximum height, they detonated. The shrapnel ripped the defending miners to pieces. It was seconds later that the pirates opened the door and were walking unchallenged into the colony.

"Hadako stay here. Make sure nobody doubles back!" Sistran ordered.

Hadako nodded trying not to show any relief. The rear-guard wasn't 100% safe, but it was safer than working through the installation and killing anyone they found. A full cut of the loot for significantly less work and danger.

Comms discipline was generally relaxed once they had taken out the initial resistance. Hadako just stood guard at the now wrecked barricade and listened as his crewmates swept through the installation reporting on kills as they went.

"Woah! Krotting just got a heart shot!" someone exclaimed. A heart shot with a solid-state laser was a sight to behold. The incredible heat would flash-boil the victims blood. This resulted in parts of the body almost exploding. Typically the wrists, eyes, thighs and neck would suddenly open up and spray steaming blood everywhere due to the immense pressure.

More chatter about good kills or close calls. Hadako was getting bored. When Egbilolf's voice came through the comms his blood ran cold.

"Whey hey! I got a live one!" he shouted. A female scream could be heard in the background. The comms chatter filled up with cheers and people desperate to know where he was so they could join in the 'fun'.

"AHHHHHH!" he screamed in pain a moment later "Frackin' bitch bit me!".

There was the sound of a laser pistol discharging, a shrill scream and then silence.

"For the best." Hadako muttered knowing that the now dead woman had been lucky.

Thankfully for the next ten minutes nothing else but routine chatter was broadcast though comms. Apparently the missiles has done well in starving the crew of oxygen. The crew finally reached the central chamber. That's where they'd find the good stuff. That is where the colony mined the valuable ore out. A hollow cavern in the heart of the asteroid. Hadako heard a claxon or something in the background.

"What the frack?" Sistran's voice growled over the comms. "Who triggered that alarm? The doors just dropped and are sealed."

Hadako could hear the claxons sounding a lot louder over the comms.

"Hadako! One of these bears thinks it is funny to lock us in the core. Get your ass down here and let us out. Oh and nuke the hilariously funny bear if you see him!"

Hadako started to head down the corridor to the sounds of a dozen whining pirates in his ear. Suddenly the mood changed.

"That MTAC is moving!"
"Don't worry, it's got no pilot. Remote control! He's in here somewhere."
"I don't see him. Where is he?"
"Check over there!"
"Where is that thing going?"
"To the edge of the pit? Woah! It fell in!"

There was laughter.

"It landed in the safety net"
"Wait, its still active. Its cutting through. The net."
"There it goes. That's a long drop."
"Its lit its mining torch. Its still going and moving to a hatch. What, you don't think.... oh shit!"

The sound of multiple laser fire made Hadako speed up. They were obviously firing at something. Suddenly the firing stopped.

"Its inside the cave now! I cannot see it!"

"Krotting climb down there! Stop that thing before we are all fracked!" Sistran's voice sounded.

"Hadako  if you don't get these doors open now, we're dead!" he followed up.

Hadako was sprinting now. He saw the blast door ahead and the face of one of the pirates pressed up against the tiny viewport. The raiders wore simple breather-masks that made sure they weren't affected by the low oxygen environment that the missiles caused in areas all over the colony.

"Its Hadako! I see him, he's here. He's......"

A mighty roar drowned out whatever was being said. Hadako skidded to a halt as the face disappeared from the viewport. The solid red light above the door signifying it was locked began to blink. Anyone who has ever stepped foot on a spacecraft or station knew the significance of a flashing red light above a door. Pressure differential.

The roar in his ear dropped in volume which allowed him to hear the desperate cries of his crew. They were choking and screaming hoarsely for help. Hadako approached the door but knew there was nothing he could do. The core was being depressurized and it would be impossible to open the doors. Even the emergency airlock next to the blast-door was in lockdown. Soon the comms were eerily quiet. Everyone was dead.

He was the last man but he wasn't going to let a miner kill his friends without punishment. He took a spacesuit from the rack lined up by the door and slowly put it on, waiting for the core to completely vent.

As soon as he could, he entered the core via the emergency airlock. Now the depressurizing had been complete the airlock was usable again. His was breathing sounded heavy in the enclosed helmet. He looked around. A few of his ship mates had been able to lasso on railings and MTACs but had only lasted a few moments longer than those who had been blown out to space. His suit sensors showed he was in a total vacuum.

Hadako looked around and spotted what must be the control room high above the pits. He stormed towards it, his knuckles turning white inside the gloves of his suit as he tightly gripped the pistol. He burst into the room sweeping the gun in case the bastard was still there. The room was empty. Hadako saw the movement sensor on one of the large screens. There was something in the large hanger directly off the pits. It was a dead-end. The bear was trapped. Hadako was about to head there when scrolling text caught his eye. He went to the communications console and looked.

"Attention Capsuleers. This is Mining Outpost Gamma 426. We have been attacked by pirates. The crew are all dead. I am the last survivor and won't last much longer!"

Hadako nearly laughed. If he thought one of the Gods of Destruction would give a shit about him and rescue him he was mad. Capsuleers didn't even care about their own starship crews. They certainly didn't care for a stranger. Also the bit about him not lasting much longer was very, very true he thought.

"Engage and destroy the outpost and retrieve the valuable cargo before the pirates."

The blood rushed out of Hadako's face. Eggers however did care very much for anything described as valuable! He brought up the gun and fired. The anti-personnel shot scorched the console doing minor damage. He fired repeatedly whilst screaming and cursing. Finally the screen went dead. Had the Eggers seen it? Did they care? Hadako  rushed from the control room and down the corridor until he came upon the storage hanger. It was huge and filled with metal containers. Some the size of a man, others the size of a building. He was here somewhere. Hadako wandered through the maze of stacked containers with his gun raised. Ahead on one of the larger containers he saw that the seal on its personnel door had been broken.

"Gotchya" Hadako grinned. He took a step forward and wobbled. A rumble vibrated through the outpost. He froze wondering what was going on. Suddenly seven massive explosions rocked the hanger knocking him from his feet. Stacks of containers toppled as the explosions continued, crashing noisily to the floor. Hadako scrambled to his feet. His only hope to get back to the ship. He turned and ran but never got close to the door as the external hanger door failed. He was catapulted into the air by the force of the explsive decompression and flew at speed into space along with hundreds of crates. As he sped past he marvelled at the awesome sight of the Raven class battleship raining missiles down on the outpost. Within minutes both the ship and the colony nothing but a speck in the distance. The occasional bright flash indicating the Capsuleer was not done yet.

Hadako checked the suits status. 34 hours of life support remaining. He started to wonder if the capsuleers were here, were also the Sisters of Eve? Would they detect the emergency beacon that would pulse for the next 34 hours. It would shut off once he was dead. The engineers who designed the suit had thought there was no point wasting rescuer's time if there was no point. He pondered that decision as he span deeper into the cold black.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Drifter Incursions!

CCP Paradox organised a 'not-mass' test last night and for once it was in my TZ. By holding the test at 17:00 GMT I had time to join in before retiring for my beauty sleep.

I fitted up a Golem with twin ASB and being on SiSi a full high-grade crystal implant set complete with omega implant cost me 600 ISK! 100k EHP and reps 7k every 5 seconds? That will be fine for normal Drifter DPS but obviously it'll still get one-shotted by their super-weapon.

It was chaos to start. Everyone streaming X's and forming fleets before CCP Paradox could get things moving. I just sat at the undock and took some screenies as local chat was full of "CCP Paradox XXXX pwease!!!!111!!".

Finally we got moving. Well, I say moving. CCP Paradox activated an incursion in system. However the Sansha space-zombies were nowhere to be seen. This was a Drifter incursion! We warped to the first site which was a small drifter influx and found a spacial rift there. It looks like a wormhole, acts like an acceleration gate. However you drop out 30km from the rift and I had only fitted a MJD. DOH!

However I was not the only one and there was a conga-line of slow ships heading to the rift. I was too late into the first two and just watched fleet chat as "ZOMG I WAS ONE-SHOTTED" kept scrolling up. I got in the third by warping to 70 and then MJD'ing the rest (although it didn't work exactly as I came side-on to the warp in and therefore wasn't exactly 100km from the rift).

Inside there was a wormhole thingy with stuff around it and a load of Drifters. We spanked them and that was that. I went back to station to find seven Drifters there and we killed them too.

The normal incursion effects were on. Whether this is just CCP using the Sansha mechanic for testing or the Drifters will use the same when it comes to TQ, who knows. However, we do know that the Sansha have been using Drifter/Sleeper/Jove tech for their incursions (the wormholes) and that they got into Jove Space (that screenshot for years ago). So it is possible the incursion tech used by the Sansha originally belonged to the Drifter/Sleeper/Jove.

As it's likely to be the Throne Worlds the Drifters invade I'm probably not going to get involved in the TQ version, but it will be interesting to see if the incursion runners move over to Drifter incursions. I guess it'll depend what the rewards are.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Blog Banter 65 - Summary

We got quite a good response to Blog Banter 65 regarding attributes.

Cloaky Bastard says their time is past and CCP should send them to the same retirement home as the skill queue.

Kirith over at Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah suggests replacing them with skill categories and creating long lasting boosters.

Rixx independently came to the same conclusion over Eveoganda. Perhaps a focus for players which boosts SP gain in certain areas such as mining. Wait a minute... is there a Monty Python reference in the title? From an American??? :P

Oreamnos Amric over at Notes from New Eden suggests monthly remaps, repurpose them or if nobody at CCP has time, bin em!

The Ancient Gaming Noob goes to town with a really detailed post on the subject. He originally goes "Learning-skill-ise them" but then reconsiders and suggests leaving or repurposing them.

Rox Lucas over at the Torchwood Archives goes "Science, bitch!" and gets out the scientific calculator. There then follows a great post on how skills and implants can be repurposed. CCP take note!

Some idiot over at, well... this blog suggests going all WoW/LoTR/Everquest/Every MMO ever made and make attributes not tied to SP gain but actually make a difference to you in game. Better perception = better damage.

Travorian Dax over at Target Caller says get rid.... oh wait, there's more... he looks into 3rd party application issues but with regards to getting rid of attributes, he means it.

CSM member Sugar Kyle over at Low Sec Lifestyle asks if we had more remaps, would this be an issue?

A blast from the past, Neville Smit wrote at Crossing Zebras that attributes will not be missed other than by the odd bitter vet with the "capsuleers of today don't know they're born, back in my day...."

Again on Crossing Zebras, Niden wrote up a length discussion between many of the CZ crew about this subject.

Jakob Anedalle of Jakob's Eve Checklist who suggested the topic this month goes all Ripley on attributes and suggests nuking them from orbit (its the only way to be sure).

Morphisat's Blog is another in the make attributes meaningful camp. Damage/tank/healing/learning type attributes as seen in other RPG type games.

So a lot of feedback there and overwhelmingly support something needs doing. Whether that is nuking attributes to reduce complexity and risk-adversity due to expensive implants or repurposing them. Whichever, the banterers all tend to agree. Things need to change!

In about a week I'll be sending potential topics to the top secret little committee I have of Kirith and Rixx. So if you have a burning question you'd like to ask the banternoughts let me know and I'll add it to the list!

Sunday, August 9, 2015

SCASSSS - Player Videos

At the end of the week CCP Falcon Tweeted the old "I Love New Eden Video".

Whilst I agree its a great video it got me thinking about my favorite two player videos.

Friday, August 7, 2015

MoT - The Pirate Factions

Friday fiction! Escape pod here! If you are a new player and want some 'stuffz' go there!

Several years ago CCP released four chronicles detailing the brutality of the four Empires. The 'Methods of Torture' series covered the Amarr, Caldari, Gallente and Minmatar. If you are into your Eve-O fiction (I assume you are as you are still reading this) you've probably already read them. Any regular readers will I know I like my horror. Richard Laymon, Edward Lee and others like them in the genre. So Official Eve lore with a horror style twist? However, how about the major pirate factions? Are they worse? Four short-shorts carrying on from where CCP left off after covering the Empires.....

The Guristas

Chiku was thrown naked into the small cell. He crashed to the floor banging his knees. He was plunged into pitch blackness as the heavy metal door slammed shut with a deafening clang. He knew he was in a world of trouble. As an agent for the Caldari State he had successfully infiltrated the Guristas pirate organisation six months ago. However, somehow, his cover had been blown. He'd been stripped, beaten and then thrown into this black cell. The smell let him know he wasn't the first person to have been locked up in here. They would be back, he was sure of that. They'd find his datapad and an extensive search would uncover the hidden encrypted section, then they'd need the passcode. If he gave it to them dozens of fellow agents could be compromised. He'd take the interrogation for a while then pretend to break and then give them the kill-code. A special code that when entered on the unlock screen would permanently erased the data. It would be the end for him, but it would save countless others. He was dead either way.

After three days of beatings and food that was nothing more than rotting rice and stagnant water he was taken to a different room. He was cuffed and sat at a metal table bolted to the floor when a uniformed man entered, the solitary guard turned and left as the officer entered.

"I hope you are enjoying our hospitality Mr Oshomi...." the man said as he sat in the seat at the opposite side of the table.

Chiku tried not to flinch, they knew his real name. That was really bad.

"...and I hate to ask for a favour, but we really need the unlock code for the encrypted area of your datapad."

Chiku paused "6, 7, Omega, 2, nine, Gamma, four, two." he said quietly hanging his head.

"OK, so thats the kill code out of the way," the uniformed man smiled "and the unlock code would be?"

Chiku just looked up, his gamble failed. This man knew about the kill-code. There was a leak at HQ surely.

"Frack you!" Chiku said. He knew the beatings and starvation would get worse but he wasn't about to betray the State. He watched the uniformed man smile, nod slightly and turn and leave. The guards returned and Chiku was dumped in the black cell again.

He didn't know how long they left him there in the darkness this time. If he had to guess it must have been close to a week. Why no beatings? Why no questioning. Every so often the small hatch in the bottom of the door would be opened and the meager rations would be pushed through. Chiku had never been so hungry in his life. His thoughts were generally of his wife back on New Caldari. She hated him for doing these long deep-cover operations. Her tearful face as he left her for the last time came back to haunt him everytime he slept.

Eventually they came for him. He was weak now after days upon days of starvation. They carried him to a different room. A clean room, homely almost. Inside were two women in uniforms. They did not speak as they stripped him, bathed him and clothed him in clean clothes. They sat him at a table and placed a meal in front of him before leaving him alone. He knew it was a trap. The room was nice, almost like a hotel room. In front of him was a steaming bowl of rich curry. Caldanese noodles, large chunks of what looked like chicken and a jug of iced water. Slowly he began to eat. He knew if he rushed into the meal as he desired to, his shrunken stomach wouldn't be able to take it. So he went slowly, relishing every bite as he slowly consumed the fine meal. As he finished the door opened and the uniformed man who had questioned him before entered and sat at the table opposite him. Chiku wanted to kill him, but he knew he was too weak from starvation to try anything. The plastic spork he used was no weapon. That's why he had come alone with no guards, he knew Chiku was no threat in his state.

"Did you enjoy your meal?" the man asked cordially.

"It was certainly an improvement." Chiku replied guardedly. Was this the new tactic? Playing the good guy? Turn against the State, give up the unlock code and you get a nice room and good food? Surely they didn't think that would work?

"Well lets discuss that unlock code now." the Guristas officer said lifting a finger in the air. The door opened as if on queue. Chiku let out a sob as he saw his wife dragged in between the shoulders of two guards. She was barely conscious. Her head hung forward as the two guards supported her and her feet dragged limply behind. Her usually shiny blonde hair was matted and hung covering her face. She was also practically naked, her skimpy white lace panties covering her modesty. Around her chest a bandage was wrapped. The pale flesh of her full left breast spilled out either side of the tight white gauze. Where her right breast should have been the material was flat against her chest. A large blood stain, almost black in colour, showed through the bandage. "Or would you like us to prepare another meal for you?" the Guristas officer asked casually raising an eyebrow.


The Angel Cartel

Mizuro started to come around. Her head was clouded and was struggling to recall what had happened to her. She glanced around. First thing she saw was another woman in front of her, unconscious on the floor. The stranger was fully clothed in an Angels Cartel uniform. Mizuro looked down at her own body. She was naked and strapped spread-eagle to some sort of metal frame. Things didn't look good. Had they discovered what she had been doing? That would be really bad for her she thought. At this point she noticed her right hand was encased in a clear plastic box. A cigar shaped object was in there with a red button on the top. Some sort of remote trigger? She could easily reach it but decided not to touch it.

The other woman stirred and started to come around too. She looked up at Mizuro in shock, obviously also not knowing what was going on.

"Good morning." a voice boomed through a hidden speaker. "Here we have two traitors to the Cartel. Captain Wilakiater has been stealing from her cargo and selling the property of the Cartel on privately. We are talking small amounts but she must be taught a lesson. Administrator Mizuro however has been syphoning funds from our various laundering accounts on a much grander scale for a lot longer. One has made tens of thousands of credits, the other nearer five hundred thousand. Both have been stealing from the Cartel. Both are to be punished."

The two women started to protest in unison.

"Mom?" a boy's voice sounded through the hidden speakers. Mizuro let out a sob hearing her sons voice.

"Mom?" Wilakiater stopped as she heard her daughter.

The back wall of the room shimmered. A projection appeared and both women cried out. It was outside on a sandy beach. They saw their children stood in tall one-person cages.

"As you can see, your offspring at locked in small cages above individual pools of flammable liquid. The doors to these cages face away from each other. They are tied together by the rope you can see that goes between and through the cages. The only way to free your children is to break the rope which will allow both doors to be opened. Captain Wilakiater, the pool below your daughter contains a small incendiary device. 90 minutes after this video stops it will automatically ignite. The liquid in the pool burns at a relatively low temperature. Your daughter will suffer as she slowly burns to death. This will also burn through the rope over time and release the boy in the opposite cage. Mizuro, the remote that is in the box with your right hand is a detonator for the device in the tank under your own son. If you depress the button your son will die a slow, horrible death, but the rope will burn through and Captain Wilakiater's daughter will be freed. We now leave you alone to discuss what should happen. There is only rule. Captain Wilakiater is not allowed to touch that remote, if she does or tries to gain access to the box we will automatically ignite the pool under her daughter. For those watching, let this be a lesson to you all. The ninety minutes starts now."

The two women looked at each other in horror. Captain Wilakiater's expression slowly started to harden. She approached Mizuro who was defenseless tied to the frame.

"Press the button." she snarled in a commanding tone. Mizuro turned her face away. Wilakiater slapped her hard. "PRESS THE BUTTON!" she screamed.

Mizuro turned her face back around, her cheek stinging from the blow.

"No!" she said defiantly. "Do it yourself" knowing that if the Captain tried to even access the box she would be killing her daughter and Mizuro's son would be freed.

Wilakiater stepped back and looked around the room. Her head locked onto something. Mizuro followed her gaze. In a corner of the room was something hidden by a white sheet. Wilakiater walked over and pulled the sheet away. Mizuro craned her neck to try and see what it was. It looked to be a trolley of sorts. Wilakiater wheeled it over and Mizuro let out a sob. The trolley contained a vast array of tools and implements. Pliers, metal snips, scalpels, drills, blow-torches, knives, soldering irons hammers and nails were amongst the devices carefully laid out along the top.

"Please. Press the button." Wilakiater said as she lit the blowtorch and placed it to one side before picking up a small pair of bolt cutters. The Angel starship captain placed the blades either side of Mizuro's little finger of her left hand. "Press it now!"

The administrator shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Press it now!" the Captain ordered.

There was an ear piercing scream followed by the sharp sound of snapping of bone.


The Serpentis

Gara felt unstoppable right now. He was at the top of his game and nobody could stop him. His 'Blue Ice' was the most in demand narcotic in the city. He'd stumbled across the recipe by accident whilst experimenting in his lab. From his original set up in the garage of his run down house he now had an industrial scale operation in the basement of his multi-million credit mansion. He looked either side of him, the two women were fast asleep. He tried to recall their names. Alebeke? Albyne? Alirener? Allachard? Who cared? He could have two more tonight if he wanted. He climbed down the bed and threw on his robe. Walking downstairs there were various other women asleep all over the place. Draped over sofas or collapsed on the floor. Beautiful girls wearing tiny dresses, bikinis or in several cases a few strips of lace and silk.

"That's how you throw a proper party!" he thought to himself.

He entered the kitchen and his maid bowed as she saw him and immediately started preparing his breakfast. A Caldari maid was a rare thing in the Federation but as a patriot Gara enjoyed having a Caldari on staff. They belonged to be subservient to their Gallente masters. He made sure he mistreated her when ever he could. He picked up his datapad. There was a stack of messages detailing funds transfers from overnight, part of his vast money laundering racket. He placed it down, he now had so much money he didn't care. He owned this town now. The threats from the Serpentis Syndicate were just that. He owned enough muscle and dirty cops that not even they could touch him. Life was good!

That evening the party was just getting started. His place was full of his friends and lots of girls. Just how he liked it. He was holding court to three very beautiful specimens when there was a commotion at the door. He glanced over and saw two of his men were handling it. Massive Matari Brutors he used as doormen when he threw a party and he threw a party most nights. There was a sudden crack and Gara looked on in disbelief as one of the Brutor's head exploded. There was a stunned silence for a fraction of a second and then all hell broke loose. The other Brutor shuddered as holes were blasted through him and four men burst in. They started firing at anyone they could. Gara was frozen as one of the girls facing him was hit by a shotgun blast in the back. He could see the smoking barrel through the massive hole in her chest. He ran. More gun fire, more screams, more begging followed by a gunshot and then silence.

As he ran for the stairs a hand grabbed his ankle. He looked down to see one of the girls with a look of terror on her face. Her left leg had been blown off at the knee. The stump was pumping bright red blood over his 540 credit per square metre imported Amarrian carpet.

"Please help me." she cried as he shook her hand free and scrambled up the stairs.

He got to the landing and stopped. One of his friends was crawling towards the stairs obviously badly injured. One of the intruders calmly walked up behind him and shot him in the back. The shooter looked up at Gara and smiled.

Gara turned and ran up the stairs. He darted into his room and opened the secret panic room before diving in. The door closed behind him. Looking at the monitors the intruders were mopping up. His friends and guests were mostly dead and those that were still alive were being finished off. He knew it had to be the Serpentis Syndicate. They were sending a message. He watched one of the men slowly walk through the house, he was heading to Gara's bedroom. He quickly opened the safe and pulled out his gun. There was no way the man could get in here but he didn't care. When the door to the panic room opened, he nearly dropped the gun. It was impossible! How did the man know the code. He had been betrayed! He leveled the gun at the intruder who stood there casually with his weapon lowered and pulled the trigger.


The gun was empty. Someone had removed the ammo. The betrayal was absolute. He'd been set up by one of his own.

As the much larger man approached and grabbed him by the neck he offered no resistance. The Serpentis enforcer dragged him down stairs through the numerous bodies and into the kitchen. The three others were there as well as the maid. She didn't appear to be scared. He could smell something. He had no idea why he even entertained the thought that popped into his head "Oooo is she cooking prawn crackers?"

The men dragged him onto the big table, each one holding an arm or a leg. His maid approached with a gleam in her eye. What was she doing? Why didn't she call the police? Then he saw the cleaver. The bright steel flashed before he could react. A blinding pain shot up his arm and his head snapped to the right. The four fingers of his hand lay separated as the stumps pumped bright red blood over his Matari mahogany table. After a second his brain finally processed what had happened. Quickly the maid moved and before he realised what was happening he'd lost all his fingers and toes. The pain was excruciating as he struggled against the powerful hands.

The men restraining him pulled his trousers down. Panic truly set in now. The maid turned and walked to the stove picking something up. When she turned around he saw that she wore thick kitchen gloves and held a pan. That's what he had smelt, hot oil. Boiling hot oil. Prawn crackers was the last thing on his mind as the Serpentis insider slowly poured the contents onto his naked groin.

Inspector Lintere looked down on Gara's screaming form. The restraints held him securely to the hospital bed. His head was thrown back and veins and tendons bulged in his neck as the agony washed over him. Suddenly the screaming stopped and he was still.

"There is nothing you can do for him?" he asked the Doctor.

"No Inspector, whilst he physically feels the pain, I'm afraid its all in his head. No painkiller is going to help as the signals are originating from the brain itself, not the nerves. Not that they could, everything down there was deep fried and very dead. From what we can tell the Echelon Entertainment Implant he had installed a month ago was modified when he went in for the implant. Oh it played the PR video games and movies but it had a sinister purpose too. We are pretty sure the perps had been planning this for weeks."

PR stood for Perceived Reality. For those who thought VR was a child's game, PR used a cranial implant to allow games to be played directly within the brain. A hyper-realistic dream-state where the user was in control. Unlike a dream, the implant could make sensations real. In most games pleasure was enhanced and pain was reduced to nothing more than a slight discomfort. It had been banned on many worlds. Some people just ended up wasting away preferring to spend most of their time in the 'game'.

"So he's stuck in a loop?"

"As far as we can tell yes. He's reliving that day over and over again. The modified implant basically recorded the whole day leading up to the attack. The pain reducing algorithms have been removed. He's getting his digits trimmed and his crotch deep-fried every 24 hours and feeling every single bit. He starts the day on a high, then the attack happens and he experiences fear, terror and horror. Then the final bit, well the less said about that the better!"

"No way of breaking him out of it?"

"No. We've had the top Echelon techs here in person to inspect him. They cannot access the implant to shut it off. The Serps, if it was indeed the Serps, have done a good job on their modified software for the implant. It cannot be deactivated without killing him. It cannot be reprogrammed without killing him and we cannot clone him with the program running as its impossible to get a normal brainscan. This poor SOAB is stuck in a loop of that nightmare of a day forever."


The Blood Raiders

Seriously guys? The Blood Raiders! You expect me to make these dudes more scary than they already are?? Nope!

(Actually at 2600 words this is slightly over for a normal Friday Fiction so that is a good an excuse as any!)