Saturday, January 14, 2012

Hazard Pay (Fan Fiction)

I killed 70 crew members the other day, simply because I was bored! This short piece looks at what happened inside the ship as I got my arse handed to me.

I was having trouble getting a fight, the Caldari militia are terrible at the moment, especially in my timezone. I thought I'd try and bait them by opening a faction war plex in Enaluri (the primary low-sec system for the Caldari) and then sitting on the warp in point from the acceleration gate. May be I'd get a fight, it's worked before. I sat there a long time.......


The bridge on the Thrasher class Destroyer was silent. A red strobe light flashed in one corner indicating battle stations.

The XO got up from his chair and walked over to the scanner console. As a capsuleer ship, there was no captain on the bridge. The capsuleer, floating in his hydrostatic capsule in the belly of the ship provided that role. His neural implants and central nervous system were wet-wired into the ships systems, allowing him to do much more than a human sat in a chair on a bridge could ever do.

"What have we got on scan?" asked the XO.

"A Cruor class frigate keeps making a fly past, and I've seen a Caldari Navy Hookbill briefly. Neither has landed on the acceleration gate" there was a slight strain in the Ensigns voice. He was green like many members of the crew.

"Good work Ensign. Keep it up, just remember, what you know from those scanners, our capsuleer knows ten times more. Have confidence in him, he'll do the right thing"

"Yes sir! Of course sir!"

The XO looked discretely towards the escape pod hatches to ensure the route was clear and the indicators showed that the systems were OK. He'd been here before.


Down in engineering the scene was similar. Warning lights flashed but the Chief Engineer was sat leaning back in a chair with his feet on a console. He was picking dirt from under his fingernails with a screwdriver.

"He's back again, the Cruor! By the gods, how long are we going to sit here!"

The Chief Engineer rolled his eyes. This new crew was so green it was like working with grass.

"We'll be sat here until one of those squids decides to grow some balls and uses the acceleration gate. Until then we sit here and wait"

"But there are two of them now. If they both come in together, can we take them?" the Technician sounded worried as he looked over the scanner results. A Cruor and a Caldari Navy Hookbill were on long range scans.

"May be. We're at the warp in, warp scrambler, stasis webifier and close range autocannon fitted. If they come in with a few seconds between them we'll have them." the Chief sounded nonchalant.

The Destroyer had been sat in the same location for a while. It was a small Gallente Federation outpost in the Enaluri system. Whilst the Gallente had conquered the system, the Caldari militia were looking at winning it back. The deadspace around them prevented ships reaching the area by warp drives. An acceleration gate provided access to this area of space and thus created a bottleneck.

"And if they land together? Why don't we get out! We're massively outnumbered, if half of the Caldari militia in this system come here, they'll wipe us out in seconds"

The chief engineer stood up and walked over to the technician. He leaned over and refreshed the scanner.

"Well looks like it'll be over in a few seconds"

"NO! There are three of them and they are on close range. We've got to get out, why isn't the warp drive spinning up??? A pirate frigate, a Navy frigate and an assault ship! They'll rip us apart!"

The Chief just shook his head.

"Because our capsuleer is bored, that's why!"

"BORED?" The technician screamed.

"Yes bored. He's been sat here far too long and wants a fight, even if the odds are terrible"

"But... but..... but we'll all die!"

The Chief sighed. He went through this far too often.

"No, the Capsuleer will certainly survive. As will any of us who make it to the escape pods"

The technician stared at the chief wide eye'd with an open mouth. He couldn't speak.

"Tell me son, why did you sign up with a capsuleer crew and not a regular ship crew."

"Well the pay! The money on a capsuleer ship is ten times more than on a normal ship."

"Did you ever stop to wonder why? Did you question the huge disparity between the pay on a regular ships crew and a capsuleer's ships crew? You never wondered why everyone doesn't jump onto the nearest capsuleer ship and rake in the money? Well, you're about to find out!"

Several alarms rang out. The thermal cut-offs had been disabled on the electronic warfare systems. The capsuleer was going to over-heat the warp scrambler and the stasis webifier.

The three Caldari militia ships slipped out of warp near to the stationary Destroyer, the Navy Hookbill first, then the Jaguar class Assault Frigate. The Cruor arriving last.

The space between the ships lit up with fire instantly. The Thrasher was taking a pounding under the three verses one odds. It's shields went down in a matter of seconds. Explosions then struck the armour plating, resonating through the ship.

The abandon ship siren sounded and the chief started running to the escape pod hatches.

"This is why we're paid so well" he shouted over the sound of the alarms as he slid into the escape pod. "Think of it as hazard pay!"



  1. Hi, I found your blog looking for a UAE EVE corp to join..I'm a Brit that moved to the region some time ago but have just picked up EVE again. I'm having trouble finding a corp that's active on Fri/Saturdays and GMT+4. If you know of one, let me know, thanks :)

  2. Yeah, unfortunately it's not just a corp you have to find active. It's also someone to shoot. My kills per months have plumetted since I moved to GMT +4.

    The link to Shadows of the Federation (Gallente Miltiia PVP) is on the link panel above-right. We have some activity in all TZ's usually.