Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Tuesday night was terrible for Caldari Militia (Squids) targets. It was getting rather frustrating seeing system after system of blues. In the end I had to resort to laying a trap for a farmer just to be able to kill one. It wasn't a Wile E Coyote quality trap, but it was a trap none the less.

I found a farmer in Notoras and I was in a Cockbag Thrasher. I left system and set up on the out-gate (btw this isn't the trap, that would be too simple) and then asked if any corpie was free to flush him out. CPT CID said he'd do it, and took a destroyer to the medium complex. The Incursus flying squid warped away to the iHub. He went to another plex and CID chased him out of that one. He warped to the iHub again before opening a Novice Compound that destroyers cannot get in. He was spouting in local that CID is "wasting his time" and he'll not catch him and he should leave him alone etc. Hang on guys, I've got an idea!

I jumped Drackarn into the system and parked him somewhere. I then logged on my old militia alt on another account. This guy was my 'speed tanking alt'. Back in the day when I was a Goody-Two-Shoes +5.0, I used to take part in speed-tanking incursions into squid hi-sec. We'd get together 10 alts that were in the militia with us in ships that could do 4300m/s cap stable. We'd jump them into system and then set them off at full speed. The Faction Navy NPC would spawn and chase, but couldn't catch them. So once that had been done the 11th and subsequent pilots to jump in were free of NPC agro and could roam about freely to kill unsuspecting wartargets. We used to have some good fun especially in Amarr!

Anyway this alt is still in an Alpha clone (less than 900k skill points) and the only skills he has are navigation and for capacitor and propulsion fitting mods/rigs. I stick him in an unfitted Rifter and jump him into Notoras. Then I warp him to the plex. This could go brilliantly..... or fail.

The alt enters the plex in his unfit Rifter and there is the Incursus. He's 20km off so I lock him up and burn towards him. I say burn.... the Rifter has no prop mod... so really I sort of amble towards him.

This is the time the target should smell something fishy!

"AH! A war target Rifter. He's locked me! Mmmmm he hasn't pointed me though. Must be scram fit. But look at his speed! It's almost as if he hasn't got a prop mod fitted! Why would a ship with a scram not have a prop mod? Should I look carefully at his ship? Ooooo look. He's got no guns on that. It's a bluff! I can kill this Rifter and laugh at them!"

But it didn't happen like that. He simply ran away.

Now dear readers, the hundred million ISK question is this. Where did he warp to? Are you thinking of a location? Is it the iHub? Congratulations, +1 interwebz to you. Yes, he had decided why break with tradition? Warping to the iHub EVERY SINGLE TIME has worked so well in the past. Why not do it again.

And the second bonus question for you. What range did he warp at? We have such a nice selection in that dropdown menu. You can go to 0. You can go to 30, Hell, you can go to the ever popular 100! You know, mix it up a bit, keep people guessing. Have you guessed which distance he chose? That's right. He warped to 0.

Now, you may remember before I unleashed my 900k skill point alt of terror that I said I had parked Drackarn in the system. Last question for you. Where do you think I parked my Cockbag Thrasher? Yes, that's right..... at the iHUB.

The Incursus died in a hail of Republic Fleet Fusion and as the ship assploded, so did the "You're wasting your time" comments.

OK, not the most epic trap ever in the history of Eve, but I enjoyed it!

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