Wednesday, April 11, 2012

An Eve Keyboard?

The "Legs" from #tweetfleet (aka Sindel) posted some tweets yesterday about how there should be a Razer keyboard for Eve Online. I think that's a fantastic idea and getting into work this morning I see she has even written a blog post about it here. I was planning a blog on this on my drive in and she's ruined it! But she didn't cover what keys we'd want......

The Star Wars: The Old Republic keyboard by Razer appears to have 10 special SW:TOR keys (wow, bet that was a surprise!).

We want an Eve Online one NOW! But, how would we utilise those 10 keys for Eve?
Well obviously the selected object menu is ideal to go in the top set, Warp, jump, keep at range, orbit and lock covers the first 5 buttons. However I think we need to change the order a little.....

"Warp to 0" and "Warp and Jump" Keys.
MOVE THESE APART! I mean far apart, I mean opposite ends! A miss-click in Eve currently of just a couple of millimetres is the difference between landing on gate and sitting there and fail-jumping into an enemy gate camp whilst your FC screams at you. Seriously, we need separation here.
The warp and jump button (aka lemming button) needs to be away from the warp to 0 button...

Now, for the other five keys! What actions do we use regularly?

Start Forum Emo-Rage Thread
There appears to be a constant steam of tears on the forum. So how about a button that automatically opens the IG browser, logs into the forums and starts a new whiney thread? Should we just go for tears, or perhaps the most common cause of whine threads/tears? We'd probably need three actually.....

A button preset to warp to a specific celestial at a set distance. These can be set in the client. It might be the Sun at 50, planet 2 at 0 or planet 5 at 100. It's up to you.

Place Bookmark
This could be useful. Just hit the button to place a bookmark and bring up the window so you can name it.

A button that activates your cyno and then automatically posts in local "Its time! Time for what? Its HOT DROP OOOOOOOOO'CLOCK!"

The CSB button is the "Childish Smack Button". When pressed it will randomly post a single line of childish smack talk in local. This is for when you want to retort to someone acting like an 8 year-old but you are too tired/drunk/busy to think of anything witty to say. Options could be:-

"My dads bigger than your dad"
"You smell of poo"
"Yo mamma is so fat, your dad needs Gallente Titan 4 training to ride her!"
"I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?"
"Back to you with nobs on"

Or anything so childish that the original smack talker just doesn't know how to respond and shuts up!

Oh just think of all the fun we could have :)

Now we just need to convince Razer to get into Eve....

Oh and get a new logo.....